Living Off the Fat of the Land
Reducing establishments can make you look better, but their fine print may make you feel worse.
(Page 3 of 5)
The warnings should be taken seriously, as no attendant was in evidence during the time that I was in the wet area. The authentic Finnish sauna is a dry sauna that is quite hot, but not uncomfortable. The steam room was another matter. The tile benches were far too hot to sit on, and the temperature gauge was placed where it could not be checked. The two women with me in the steam room were standing in the middle of the room, and both left after one minute. One quipped, as she left, "1 can't stand it. My eyeballs feel boiled."
The mineral spa is located at one end of the swimming pool and is a jazzed-up whirlpool. Several older women in gaily flowered shower caps lounged in the area. While some women bobbed about and dog paddled in the swimming pool, no one swam. The swim part of Trim & Swim is the least used—by the women anyway.
Terri collected me after my stay in the wet area and offered me a peek into the eucalyptus inhalation room, a pleasant respite for sinus and allergy sufferers. She brightly asked me how I felt, and when I responded "Dead!" she informed me that the exercise and the steam were supposed to invigorate me and that I should be ready to tackle a day's work.
I could barely limp into the office, where Bob and I tackled money matters. He explained the two types of programs that Trim & Swim offers to men or women—the Regular and the Executive plans. The Regular membership calls for an initial down payment of $25, which covers the first 50 days. Then the member pays a monthly membership fee of $16 for 24 months. For the Executive membership the down payment is $25 for the first 50 days, and then a monthly membership payment of $25 for 24 months. Then the Executive member is given six months free and may use all the club's facilities thereafter for a payment of $50 a year.
Bob checked my health record in detail, asking such questions as "Do you have high blood pressure?" "Is your circulation poor?" (I was beginning to think that I might never circulate again.) The health record is quite detailed and designed to find out what exercises the customer should not perform. When we had finished the health record and Bob had checked my measurements, we got down to the nitty gritty of contracts.
Bob explained that Trim & Swim did not use a contract, but that the customer was asked to sign a Standard Retail Agreement. I asked to see the "agreement," and he produced one for me to look over. It looked for all the world like a contract to me, and I asked if I might take it home for my "husband" (a non-existent being) to check over. He stated that he had only a few left, but that my husband might come to the club to look at the "agreement" if he liked. He also suggested that I check the Better Business Bureau for Trim & Swim's record.
I checked with the BBB and found that Trim & Swim was the only reducing salon listed. The BBB informed me that Trim & Swim met its standards—they have to answer all customers' complaints promptly and to the customer's satisfaction.
Whatever the money matters indicate, Trim & Swim could do with expending some funds on a little paint and cleanup.
IF YOU'RE YEARNING FOR SYMPATHETIC company while you reduce, Elaine Powers Figure Salon should be just your cup of tea. Caution! Remove your shoes before you step onto Elaine Powers' plush orange and fuchsia carpeting. And be prepared to be cossetted and babied through your exercise routine. It's one big happy playtime, a jolly preschool for the fat ladies at the Elaine Powers salon in west Austin's Balcones Square. Trisha, my guide through the machines, told me that Elaine Powers was the nation's largest system of figure salons, with over 300 locations.
Trisha was in love with the whole Elaine Powers concept. "Isn't it amazing?" she asked. "Doesn't that feel good?" "Don't you just love that?" I was supposed to love and be amazed at everything from the bright decor to the machines, which resembled the equipment in all the other salons I had visited. However, Trisha explained that the equipment had been especially designed by the Elaine Powers president, Dr. Richard Proctor.
Dr. Proctor had also designed the regimen for the fat ladies, but the exercises involved the same old weights and pulleys to coax the fat and the inches off. Trisha cautioned me not to work too hard or I would be sore. And she was amazed that I was so limber as I did my back and side kicks at the ballet barre. (After a week of exercising in the health spas, my legs felt like jelly.)
Over one of the limbering up bicycles hung the certificates of the various members who had shed from six to eight inches in seven lessons. Trisha was enthusiastic about the possibilities of my soon having my very own certificate posted there too, if I were a good girl and would come to the spa at least three times a week.
Even my measurements failed to dampen Trisha's enthusiasm. She explained that I was not to worry about the appalling statistics, for Elaine Powers would have me whipped into shape in no time. Money would be no problem either, as Elaine Powers was running their special and I could sign up that very day.
The special, special feature of Elaine Powers is the Lifetime Maintenance Privilege, which I would have to sign up for when I enrolled initially. Under the Lifetime Maintenance Plan—costing $9 in excess of the enrollment fee—the customer could use the salon facilities for $5 a month for life after completing the course.
You have to be an expert in high finance to juggle all the programs and costs at Elaine Powers. The regular price of a four-month program is $36 plus the Lifetime Maintenance fee of $9—a grand total of $45. The regular price of a six-months program is $48 plus the $9 maintenance fee—at total of $57. The twelve-month program costs $84 and the customer gets the Lifetime Maintenance free.
Fortunately for fat me, I could for a very limited time have the four-month program plus LMF for $43; the six-months program for $51; and the twelve-month program for $66. Trisha pointed out to me that by taking advantage of the specials I could have eight months more of "fun exercise" for just $21.
I thought the costs were a little high, since you were paying only to exercise. (There are no whirlpools, swimming pools, or saunas at Elaine Powers.) When I asked if there was a contract to sign, Trisha said it would be better if we looked it over when I had decided which program I would like to take. Money was not important, said Trisha, as I would love "Team Time," the very special feature of Elaine Powers. All the girls loved it, and I would too.
Several times each day all the girls at the salon lie about on the floor and sing songs while kicking, rolling, and tumbling about. Fat and inches simply flew away! According to Trisha, "Team Time" is the gay and fun way to lose weight together.
I mentioned the old bugaboo of all fat girls—dieting. Trisha said that indeed meal planning was important, and the staff at Elaine Powers stood ready to help me construct a meal plan to help me lose weight. She gave me a meal-planning sheet on which I was to write down every morsel I ate for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and in-between meal snacks. To help make meal planning "fun," apples with happy faces headed each column. A place to check "yes" or "no" for HAPPY DAY? ended my daily meal-planning adventure. Happy face apples were awarded to those lucky girls who had taken off the necessary pounds each week.
Trisha was careful to point out that there were a limited number of specials available and that I should climb aboard the Elaine Powers bandwagon of happy, fun losers. I literally fled from the salon, but, sure enough, there was Trisha on the telephone that evening at the dinner hour inquiring if I were ready to sign on the dotted line. Two weeks later the local newspaper was still advertising specials.
SAN ANTONIO OFFERS A PLETHORA of health and beauty spas. The Venus & Apollo Health Spas, located on Southwest Military Drive, offer a unique service in that a customer may simply pay $3 for each visit to use the equipment. No long-term membership programs are required.
Figure-Slim Reducing Studios are located at 4515 Fredericksburg Road, and at Basse Road and Blanco. The first, across from Wonderland Shopping City, advertises "Slender is Beautiful." Mickey introduced me to the Figure-Slim program, which features the same old machines done up in a psychedelic red and purple decor. She explained that there were no contracts, no high pressure salesmanship, and no advertising. The salon's business came mainly through referrals of slim, satisfied customers.
If you're a devoted exerciser, you might rate being posted as the Member of the Month at Figure-Slim. The lucky member posted for the time I was there had lost six pounds and six inches in two weeks. Exercise classes were scheduled at regular times, and Mickey explained that if one used only the machines to lose weight, it would take a longer time. The maximum loss would be obtained only through exercise plus the machines.
Although there were no contracts to sign, Figure-Slim was running the omnipresent special for that week only. The two-month plan costing $29.50 would be extended for four months during "special" week. Figure-Slim also offered a revolving year plan, by which the customer paid $39.50 initiation fee for the first two months and then $10 a month thereafter. The yearly fee was $122 with a $44 discount for cash—a total of $78. During "special week" the yearly rate was extended to cover a two-year period.
Although the attorney general's inquiry conducted in Dallas in June, 1973, found the process known as "Body Wrapping" to be highly questionable, with one physician testifying that the process was "pure quackery," Figure-Slim still utilizes body wrapping. The wrapping process is conducted at the studion on Basse Road; naturally there was a special on. Body wraps were usually $12, but during "special week" a regular customer could purchase one for $10; three for $28; five for $45; and a series of ten for $85.
Mickey explained that the process was entirely harmless and the results were "spectacular." She reported that some customers lost up to eight inches. Most salons have discontinued body wrapping in the wake of the inquiry which revealed that some spas claimed a weight loss of up to eight inches in the waistline alone. Mickey explained that the customer is smeared with an organic cream that constricts the muscles. Then the body is wrapped in Ace bandages, and, when unwrapped an hour later—presto, instant slimness!
As long as I was up for quick fat reduction, I felt game for anything. A sign posted over the mirror explained the "wrapping process." Muscles are criss-crossed with fatty globs in between. "E"-llusion Contour Cream is used to compress the fatty globs; then the muscles when wrapped fuse together and supposedly firm the muscle tissue.
My Library
