The 89 Greatest Texas Bars
A guide without ferns (well, almost).
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Bullington Point, 1411 Bryan. The look is deceptive, to say the least: a cavernous downtown hamburger joint frequented by secretaries who drink iced tea and things like that. But if you sit at the bar, you’ll quickly see it’s the real thing. Choice group of regulars—a lot of financial types—and a ruthless bartender, Mark Boles. Just when you think it’s safe to go home, he’s liable to pop you with a shooter of peppermint schnapps. If you’re in the mood, ask Pat or Pam or Barbara to tell you a joke—the Bullington may have the worst waitress humor in the state. Food? Try it if you’re starving, but ask for a blindfold, which is provided free of charge. The Bullington happens to be my favorite daytime bar, but other entries in this burgeoning division have merit too, notably the Point After on Lovers Lane, an exemplary sports bar.
Lakewood Yacht Club, 2009 Abrams. This East Dallas joint doubles as a lunch spot and manages to capture the essence of bar bar spirit even though it has a window (horrors). Chief reasons are its eclectic group of regulars, ranging from big-time lawyers to blue-collar workers to East Dallas hangers-on, and proprietor Tom Stevenson, who does a wicked imitation of Bill Cosby and an even more wicked takeoff of Joe Miller.
The Quiet Man, 3120 Knox. Oak Lawn beer joint that predates liquor by the drink and for years served as the area’s only real bar. Still the scene for a lot of arty types and an occasional spirited attempt to reconstruct New Left politics. A close neighbor and former speakeasy, the Know Street Pub, runs along the same neighborhood-bar lines.
The Den, Stoneleigh Terrace Hotel, 2927 Maple. I still think this tiny New York-style lounge is the best hotel bar in Texas. Its darkness rivals that at Joe Miller’s and the Su-Su in Fort Worth. Also has the state’s most-regular regulars.
Greenville Bar & Grill, 2914 Greenville. An East Dallas neighborhood bar bar, in spite of its trendy soda fountain look and occasional live entertainment (a bar bar no-no). Only place I’ve seen with a window that actually adds bar bar ambience; because it’s right on the street, you can watch the passersby and make fun of them.
Stan’s Blue Note, 2908 Greenville. Legendary East Dallas beer joint that has shown immense heart by surviving the slow but inexorable ferning of lower Greenville Avenue. Old-timers, dominoes, that sort of thing.
Arthur’s, Campbell Centre, 8350 N. Central Expressway. Upscale, along the lines of Nick’s Fish Market in Houston. Has live jazz, and at cocktail hour it’s a bit of a singles club. But in the afternoon it’s the real thing, despite its location in a gold-glass office tower.
Willie’s, 1105 S. Beacon. Deep East Dallas beer bar. Dark as bejesus. If you’re hungry you can make your own sandwich from a plate of cold-cuts, and if you hang around long enough you might get a round on the house from Willie, who announces this ritual by blowing a whistle.
Fort Worth
Rangoon Racquet Club, 4936 Collinwood. This place was the best of a dim lot in Cowtown, until it closed at the end of March. It had a bedeviling mixture of themes. I think the original motif was along the lines of colonial Thailand, but the seating areas looked more like a New York lounge. There were some fern bar and pub trappings tossed about and a separate piano bar upstairs. Phew! It was dark, served monster drinks, and had regulars in it at three in the afternoon. The RRC will go down in bar bar history.
The Su-Su-Lounge, 5922 Curzon. Just down Camp Bowie from the RRC, this musty West Texas—style beer bar has received several nominations for darkest bar in the state—and deservedly. Pool table, jukebox, peanut machine. The regulars look as if they settled in in 1943 and never left. Nicest touch is something called Man’s Nite, appropriate countermarketing.
Angelo’s Barbecue, 2533 White Settlement Road. Blow off the famous barbecue and ignore the gimmicky stuffed bear. This is a preferred haunt for locals as well as for Cowtown expatriates who have the misfortune of having to return every now and then.
Chateau Club, 5409 Jacksoboro Highway. This joint is the subject of more Fort Worth folklore than Cullen Davis. A large, castlelike structure at the top of a foreboding winding road, the Chateau is reputed to have been a casino and reputed to have been a brothel. Whatever it was, it is a bar bar. You walk downstairs to the bar (a detail I always like), where you are greeted by a kitschy fifties ambience that is not at all contrived—it’s the way the place has always been—and by an engaging lady bartender. Of special note are the rest rooms, which include stalls with shower doors on them. I asked what was upstairs and was told tersely, “I live there.” I didn’t ask why there were six big cars in the parking lot and no one in the bar but me. I’m glad I didn’t. “Come back and I’ll make you up some red beans,” she said as I left.
White Elephant Saloon, 106 E. Exchange. Okay, so it’s a bad, touristy imitation of an Old West barroom. Okay, so it sells White Elephant T-shirts and posters and serves beer in plastic pitchers with fake frost on them. Okay, so it has live entertainment and asks for your credit card—and keeps it—if you want to run a tab. This is Fort Worth we’re talking about, and this mainstay of the rejuvenated stockyards area is favored by courthouse types and sundry downtown drinkers.
Austin
The Quorum, United Bank Tower, 400 W. Fifteenth. Big league power bar. We’re not talking lawyers who talk about politics, we’re talking lawyers who are politicians. Key fact is that the Quorum has changed location twice and never skipped a beat. The latest move was to the top floor of a glass bank building, but the people, as proprietor Nick Kralj puts it, are the place. Notable attraction is bartender Raymond, who must have been born with a quart of gin in his hand. This place’ll get you nowhere, too: I had two, I think.
Austex Lounge, 1920 S. Congress. If you race down—or across—the demographic scale (and you can certainly do that after two of Raymond’s drinks), the Austex will do you fine. Epitome of the tough South Austin beer bar, it has a group of nonupwardly mobile blue-collar types, a large black bouncer-doorman, and a three-piece band that plays some kind of very loud fusion. A strong point is the availability of that neglected bar game, seeing how many card-board coasters you can catch after flicking them up from the edge of the bar; catch as many as the bartendress deems fit and you win a free beer. If you get into this genre, continue on to the Horseshoe Lounge on South Lamar or to Donna’s Club on South Congress.
The Cedar Door, 401 W. Fifteenth. Journalists’ bar about the size of a walk-in closet, as I recall, and with the atmosphere of a steam bath. There’s absolutely no reason for it to exist except for drinking.
The 606, 606 Trinity. First problem: it’s near Sixth Street, which has developed a fern forest about the size of the Costa Rican one I saw recently on one of those “Then the lizard jumped on the rock” PBS nature programs. Second: it calls itself an oyster bar, which as far as I know should be near an ocean. Third: it has windows. But look at it this way—everything is relative. It had the sense to name itself what it is: the 606, its address. A crowd of regulars hangs out nightly, and a sweet lady bartender remembered my drink on my second night.
La Plaza, 317 E. Sixth. A real cantina on Sixth Street. If you don’t know any Spanish, try the E.G. Bar, just down the street—talk about a serious group of regulars. Even though the lights are on and there’s a good crew at the bar, the sign at the door says Closed. Sometimes, I hear, the door’s even locked. But if you have the fortitude to walk around back, they’ll never give you a second look.
Scholz Garten, 1607 San Jacinto. I’m not one for beer gardens—or beer, for that matter—but no tour of Austin bars would be complete without a visit to this venerable hangout for students and pols. At least it’s willing to serve mixed drinks, and the garden itself is unpretentious and lively.
English’s, 3010 Guadalupe. My bar when I was a student, so it gets included automatically. It’s one of the few tastefully done pub-theme places I’ve seen, and it mixes a drink that will blow your doors off. Always a good assortment of kids and businessmen here.
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