The Ten Best and The Ten Worst Legislators
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By session’s end, the floor had turned openly hostile, hissing and catcalling when Stiles took the mike. He had even veteran lobbyists mixing their metaphors wildly (“A time bomb heading for a banana peel,” goggled one). But Stiles represented something more than an overweening freshman or a bad joke. He was the bad old days come back to life – a man with no beliefs save in his own advancement, a legislator who shamelessly declared he’d do anything to curry favor, including bargain away his independence for a mess of Speaker’s pottage. “He’s poisoned his reputation,” mused one thoughtful freshman. “And what else does a member have up here?”
Bob Vale, Democrat, San Antonio
The kind of politician who confirms your most cynical fears about politics. Combines an infinitesimal sense of public responsibility with a spectrum of values that begins with money and ends with money. If money is the mother’s milk of politics, as former California House Speaker Jess Unruh once postulated, then Bob Vale has yet to be weaned.
Not a crook – Vale is too smart to deal in quid pro quos, which is where tawdriness gives way to crime – but rather a parasite on the body politic. Says on lobbyist: “He has all kinds of fundraisers, needs, officeholder expenses he’s always telling you about, or he’ll ask you to ‘throw some business my way.’” (Vale, a lawyer, has used his office to drum up business before: he was reprimanded by the State Bar in 1972 because he represented clients for the sole purpose of obtaining a legislative continuance – the mandatory postponement of a criminal trial as long as the Legislature is in session.) “I don’t deal with him. I won’t deal with him,” says another lobbyist.
Here’s what happened this session to one who did. They lobbyist was explaining his side of one of the session’s major issues when Vale interrupted. “How much did you contribute to my last campaign?” he wanted to know. The lobbyist wasn’t sure, but he remembered making a contribution. “Well, it can’t have been too much because I don’t remember it,” said Vale.
On the rare occasions when he chooses to employ his talents, as in his battle to save Bill Clements’ appointment of Sam Barshop to the UT Board of Regents, he is a shrewd and tenacious adversary. Up against the governor, the Democratic party, and a dozen senators, Vale called in every chit and nearly pulled it off, thus demonstrating that he can play senator when he wants to. For the most part, though, he doesn’t want to. Acts like he’s allergic to major legislation; turned down an offer to be lead sponsor of the water package. A member of the conference committee on college construction, an issue vital to UT-San Antonio; appeared to doze through the first meeting and never contributed anything. Serves, sort of, on the powerful Senate Finance Committee, where a colleague evaluated his work as “useless.”
How bad is Bob Vale? During one lunch break, Kothmann was eating with several others in a local lunchroom when up walked Vale. As Vale sat down, Kothmann got up and fled, abandoning a half-consumed sandwich. When Glenn Kothmann runs away from someone, folks, that’s as bad as bad can get.
Special Awards
Flop of the Year
Craig Washington, Democrat, Houston. Seldom has a member fallen so far, so fast. Brilliant two years ago in the House but a bust in the Senate. Wanted to go back. Haunted the House floor like an unhappy ghost, lurking near the back mike, scene of his former triumphs. Started the session by accompanying the House Black Caucus to see the Speaker; got mad; got thrown out of the meeting. Couldn’t adjust to the Senate’s clubby rhythms: do your homework in advance, cut your deals, hustle your votes, then go through the formality of floor debate. Found that the compelling oratory and last-minute rides to the rescue that served him so well in the past did not apply; spent the session lashing out instead of trying to change. Saddest of all, became obsessed with the narrowest kind of ethnic politics, slapping anti-South Africa amendments on everything that moved. The glimmer of hope here is that he’s had a miserable session once before; in 1977 his dismal performance earned him our Missing in Action sobriquet. He bounced back then; Washington rooters hope he can do it again.
Best Single Performance
Chet Brooks, Democrat, Pasadena. Singlehandedly pulled Houston out of the recession with his raids on the state treasury during final budget negotiations. Argued with passion and skill for the small (but, thanks to Brooks, increasing) number of urban programs in the appropriations bill. Knew from long years of experience where his forays would be most effective; every time Brooks said, “One more little item, Mr. Chairman,” you could pack up another million dollars and ship it to Houston. So why isn’t he on the Ten Best list? As usual, he’s too close to folks you ought not to be too close to—as when he gutted a bill requiring nursing homes to install sprinklers. Guess what lobby contributed $5650 to Brooks last year?
Furniture
The term “furniture” first came into use around the Legislature to describe members who, by virtue of their indifference or ineffectiveness, were indistinguishable from their desks, chairs, and spittoons. It is now used, casually and more generally, to identify the most inconsequential members. Our furniture list for the 68th Legislature:
New Furniture
Billy Clemons, Pollok
Joe Gamez, San Antonio
Noel Grisham, Round Rock
Dudley Harrison, Sanderson
L.B. Kubiak, Rockdale
Used Furniture
Erwin Barton, Pasadena
Reby Cary, Fort Worth
Tony Garcia, Pharr
Jim Horn, Lewisville
Kae Patrick, San Antonio
Senfronia Thompson, Houston
Antique Furniture
Charles Finnell, Holliday
Leroy Wieting, Portland
Rookie of the Year
BILL SARPALIUS, Democrat, Amarillo. The man they call Senator Sap has the unpolished skills and incomplete understanding of the Senate’s mysterious ways typical of the rawest freshman. Passed the DWI reform bill; it was so full of holes that a House committee worked for six weeks to plug them all up. Squabbled with senators over his broken pledges, another characteristic of first-termers. Ah, but that’s just the point. Sarpalius is in his second term; he only acts like a freshman. The Senate’s real first-year class was astonishingly good, contributing BOB MCFARLAND to the Ten-Best list, and the best new legislator—JOHN MONTFORD of Lubbock, who guided the ill-fated water plan through the Senate, played hardball to get an amendment on the ill-fated horse-racing bill, and persuaded senators to add some ill-fated appropriations for Texas Tech to the state budget. Oh, well, you can’t win them all.
Cleanest Kill
At 6:15 p.m. on the last Friday of the session, Ed Emmett of Kingwood torpedoed an extremely complicated, hard-to-argue bill establishing state regulation of boilers, in one inspired moment. “Members,” he said, waving aloft a sheaf of paper as his colleagues milled about like hungry ants, “we can stay here and argue all of these amendments, or we can table this bill and go to dinner,” Down it went, 108-34.
Best One-Liner
Shortly before the House voted on horse racing, Joe Gamez of San Antonio approached HUGO BERLANGA of Corpus Christi, the sponsor of the bill. Said Berlanga to Gamez, who earlier in the session had been arrested for DWI and at the same time was found to have been driving for years without a license: “Don’t flake on me, Gamez. It may be your only means of transportation.”
Brotherhood Awards
First Prize: RANDY PENNINGTON, Clear Lake. While slashing funds for a migrant workers’ program, declared, “I understand migrants. I eat tomatoes.” Second prize: Senator JOHN LEEDOM, Dallas. His response to Craig Washington’s description of what it’s like to be black in South Africa: “Speaking of minorities, you should have been a Republican twenty years ago.”
Dishonorable Mention
There was a lot of competition this year for the final slots on the Ten Worst list. It hardly seems fair to the losers to let their efforts go unnoticed.
It’s time for Senator OSCAR MAUZY (Democrat, Dallas) to head for the barn and hang up the old saddle. Once a great senator, he no longer has any fire except for partisan fights like appointments. Perhaps there’s another stall in that barn for nitpicker MILTON FOX (Republican, Houston), who delights in killing otherwise uncontested bills that he discovers cost one penny more than the paper they’re printed on. BILL CEVERHA’s (Republican, Richardson) sodomy bill tried to outlaw such wanton acts as foreplay, but Ceverha was less concerned with the activities of consenting legislators—he crusaded against stronger ethics laws all session. Finally, let’s not forget JIMMY MANKINS (Democrat, Kilgore). Losing to infamous selfshooter Mike Martin in 1980 was bad enough; then he came back with a bill to give prisoners $100 and a one-way ticket to Washington, D.C.
Honorable Mention:
It would be nice to report that the competition for the Ten Best was as spirited as for the Ten Worst; alas, such was not the case. But here are the best of the rest: Senator Ed Howard (Democrat, Texarkana) is a refreshing presence. He won’t barter away his vote, won’t logroll on the budget, won’t carry special-interest bills, and manages to be very conservative without being beholden to the business lobby. Bob Simpson (Democrat, Amarillo) is so trusted as chairman of the Insurance Committee that the rest of the House just goes along with what he decides. Wayne Peveto (Democrat, Orange), who turned a nightmarish DWI bill into a workable law, may not appear in these pages again. If he’s really hanging up his gavel, as is rumored, he can look back and know that he left the state in better shape than he found it. George Pierce (Republican, San Antonio) doesn’t want to look back at all. His Urban Affairs Committee included four of the Ten Worst—Edwards, Eikenburg, McKenna, and Pennington. He deserves an honorable mention just for surviving.
Truth in Politicking Award
To Senator JOHN WHITMIRE of Houston, who complained about the chewing-out he received from Dolph Briscoe after voting for the brucellosis bill Dolph was fighting. Another senator observed that he had voted for the bill and was none the worse for wear. “Yeah,” said Whitmire, “but you didn’t lie to him.”
My Library
