January 2005
Table of Contents
Features
The 2005 Bum Steer AwardsIt was a year of: Alamo amour, bollixed Bush, cheeseburger chagrin, dissed Davy, egregious ethics, film flops, guileful gynecologists, hibiscus hullabaloo, in-flight idiocy, jiggling Janet, konservative kross-dressers, laughable liposuction, microphone mishaps, numskull name-nabbing, opinionated obits, pot parfaits, Qaeda qualms, reckless Rather, streaking solons, tasteless Tecate, UT users, vulgar veeps, Wicca watchdogs, X-pensive X-crement, yoga yoke, and—zounds!—zero tolerance. SunkHow the Texans who organized the Swift Boat Vets capsized John Kerry’s presidential campaign. L. on WheelsEight days in a rental car with Larry L. King, the crotchety West Texan who has written some of the greatest magazine stories of all time, would be enough to drive anyone crazy. Except his biggest fan. |
Your J-J Looked Good Until a 5-6-7 Turned Up on the Flop, a 3 Walked Down Fourth Street, And a 4 Came Down the River.An idiot’s guide to Texas Hold ’Em. “She Had Brains, a Body, and the Ability To Make Men Love Her”Meet the 22-year-old hooker who, with her fellow “massage therapists,” scandalized Odessa |
Columns
Gary CartwrightAnd Still ChampionThe first black man to hold boxing’s heavyweight title is finally getting the respect he deserves. Now all he’s owed is a presidential pardon. Michael EnnisNo Hat, No CattleWe Texans have long considered ourselves, in mythical terms, old cowhands. But we’re waking up to discover that we�re really city slickers. |
Kinky FriedmanDome ImprovementHow I’ll change life at the Capitol as governor. (Hint: Spaying is involved.) Karen OlssonThe Gay Non-IssueThe election of a lesbian sheriff in Dallas County is a reminder of how far we’ve come, in a very short period, on the question of sexual orientation. |
Reporter
ReporterThe Dallas Morning BluesWhy isn’t this man smiling? If you were the chairman of Belo, the suddenly stumbling media conglomerate, you wouldn’t be smiling either. Then again, Robert Decherd is sure there’s only good news ahead. Book ReviewBloodlinesBook ReviewJudgement Days |
Book ReviewThe Language of the SycamoresMusic ReviewSame MotherMusic ReviewLoteria De La Cumbia LoungeMusic ReviewWe Can’t Make it Here |
The Filter
Pat’s PickNoé |
Pat’s PickPhoto Op |
Web Exclusives
Celebrate San AntonioCelebrate San Antonio (Favorite Recipes Press 1986, first printing). The FunniesIllustrator Tim Bower, who worked on this month’s cover story, talks about drawing, humor, and his favorite Bum Steer. Rounding Up the SteersSenior editor Anne Dingus on the Bum Steers traditions and mocking those other Simpsons. Working GirlsAssociate editor Katy Vine on prostitution in Odessa and writing about sex. |
Two for the RoadAssociate editor John Spong on spending eight days listening to author Larry L. King’s outlandish stories—and on writing about his hero. Texas TidbitsTexans have the best hand when it comes to Texas Hold ’Em. Happy TrailsAfter a quick trip to Houston for a football game—and a visit to the Johnson Space Center—I’ve come up with a new mission. Texas History 101Dallas-based Belo, now a national media powerhouse, started as a small paper in Galveston. |
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