Al Edwards
D Houston
“SEND A GREAT MESSAGE,” Edwards urged his colleagues as they prepared to vote on his bill banning sexually suggestive dance routines by high school cheerleaders, and the message went forth to the world loud and clear: “We’re a bunch of idiots down here.” Lest anyone miss the point, The Daily Show aired a segment called “No Child’s Sweet Behind,” in which Edwards spoke solemnly of the dangers inherent in “moving your privacy,” including “the herpes or catching AIDS.” [Cue laughter]. Correspondent Bob Wiltfong ground his own booty in Edwards’s face, and cheerleaders from Austin’s McCallum High School performed routines clad in large garbage bags that covered their not-terribly-sexy uniforms. Only one thing could have been more embarrassing to the Legislature: airing the two-hour debate over the bill itself.
Publicity seeking and self-aggrandizement are nothing new for Edwards; he once proposed cutting off the fingers of convicted drug dealers. His ego is monumental, and, sad to say, that’s not just a figure of speech. The one program he has championed over the years is state funding for a statue, to be located on the Capitol grounds, celebrating Juneteenth, the holiday marking the end of slavery. Guess whose likeness “the lawgiver” in the statue will bear? Startled spectators at a House Appropriations Committee meeting learned of Edwards’s perfidy when a furious colleague tried to shame him by offering a proposal to prohibit state funds from being used to depict a likeness of a member of the Legislature. But Edwards is beyond shaming. He long ago lost any sense of remorse that could inhibit his pursuit of self-glorification at the expense of the institution that must suffer his presence.
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