January 2006

Table of Contents

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Features

The 2006 Bum Steer Awards

It was a year of appalling Anna Nicole, babbling Bar, conspiring cheerleaders, déclassé DeLay, enraptured Eva, fecal funny business, gubernatorial gaffes, horrifying Hook ’Em, illustrious intoxicators, juggy Jessica, Kinky kocktails, lame lawmakers, misidentified ministers, noticeable nepotism, obnoxious Oberst, powerboating Perot, queer quotes, rude Redskin, stimulated sex offenders, titillating teachers, unwanted urinating, vilified Vancouverites, watered-down Willie, x-asperating Xmas songs, yucky yearbooks, and zinged zip codes.

Retail Politics

Along a seventeen-mile stretch of Interstate 35 sits a theoretical dividing line between red-state and blue-state America. In Austin, the flagship Whole Foods attracts your typical wine-sipping, tree-hugging, Volvo-driving liberals. In Buda, the massive Cabela’s is a magnet for beer-guzzling, gun-toting, flag-waving conservatives. From these consumer preferences, voting habits are born—but appearances, like tofu dogs and duck decoys, can be deceiving.

I Have Finally Arrived

First in Kuwait, then Baghdad. Next stop, the desert.

The Elephants in the Room

Remember what Ronald Reagan said about Republicans not speaking ill of other Republicans? How quaint.

Why Can’t Steven Phillips Get a DNA Test?

For that matter, why can’t any incarcerated man or woman with a good reason get one?

Rocket Man

Richard Garriott wants to experience space travel because it would be cool—and because his dad did.

Columns

Michael Ennis

The Bidness Myth

Rethinking the way we do business—and government—down here.

Behind the Lines

The M Word

The conservative case for gay marriage.

Suzy Banks

Scent and Sensibility

Sweaty socks, cat urine, dead skunks: Three cheers for having no sense of smell.

Sarah Bird

Say “Cheesy”

The quest for the perfect author photo (or at least one I can live with).

Reporter

Reporter

Whose Life Is It Anyway?

Katie Wernecke is many things: a precocious, freckle-faced Bible-drill champ; the valedictorian of her seventh-grade class in Banquete; and—since she was diagnosed with cancer last year—a pawn in the custody battle that pits her parents against the State of Texas.

Encyclopedia Texanica

Texas Myth #264

Oil’s well that begins well.

The Horse’s Mouth

Being a Texas Beauty

Everything I Could Ever Tell You About …

Previews+Reviews

Books

The best new books from Texas.

Previews+Reviews

Music

The best new music from Texas.

The Filter

Pat's Pick

Stephan Pyles

Pat's Pick

Glass Act

Miscellaneous

Web Extra

TLR vs. TM

Texans for Lawsuit Reform responds to our November 2005 article; we respond to the organization’s response.

Texas Monthly Talks

Louis Sachar

“Any idea you can think up and plan out isn’t going to be that good. There’s no way I could have thought up all of Holes beforehand.”

Web Extra

More Law, More Disorder

Read more letters about the November issue.

Roar of the Crowd

Law and Disorder

Web Extra

Seriously, Folks

Humorist Rich Malley on being clever, writing headlines, and putting together Bum Steers.

Web Extra

Space Race

Writer-at-large Jan Reid on entrepreneur Richard Garriott and commercial space flights.

Web Extra

It’s as Easy as DNA

Senior editor Michael Hall talks about researching DNA testing, visiting a DNA lab in North Texas, and pursuing justice.

Web Extra

Putting Together the Pieces

Associate art director T. J. Tucker on co-designing this year’s Bum Steer Awards.

Web Extra

Family Matters

Associate editor Katy Vine on writing about the Wernecke family’s struggles in court and their daughter’s fight against Hodgkin’s disease.

Happy Trails

Even though my mom never allowed us to eat at restaurants attached to gas stations, I figured she might make an exception for George W.’s hangout in Crawford.

Texas History 101

The Mier expedition was the most ill-fated of the raiding expeditions from Texas into Mexico.

Texas Tidbits

The flagship Whole Foods store in Austin is very different from the new Cabela’s in Buda. They don’t sell the same merchandise, and they don’t target the same customers. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do some comparison shopping.

Recipe

Beer-Batter Shrimp with Cayenne Remoulade

From Stephan Pyles Restaurant in Dallas.

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