The Manual

Spitting Watermelon Seeds

by Andrea Valdez

June 2009

Illustration by Chris Philpot

Back Talk

    Temple says: At our 4th of July party last year we held a watermelon seed spitting contest which was won by a female UT alumni with a spit of 28 feet and 3 inches. We will have another seed spitting contest this 4th of July. (June 18th, 2009 at 10:08pm)

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Emily Post may have deplored any sort of public spitting as “disgusting” and “too nauseating to comment on,” but such notions of etiquette have never stuck with the patrons of Luling’s annual Watermelon Thump. Every June, the World Championship Seed Spitting Contest draws hundreds of spectators who hope to witness a Guinness-worthy spit (Luling resident Lee Wheelis set the rec­ord in 1989 at 68 feet 9 1/8 inches). “There’s not an exact science to it,” says Jamie Nickells, the competition’s chairman and the secretary-treasurer of the Thump Association. “But there are a few rules.” Stated simply, they go as follows: (1) Ammo must be harvested from the official Black Diamond melon, which is split on the premises, (2) each participant gets two chances on the “spitway,” a 75- by 15-foot painted strip, and (3) the seed spit farthest wins.

1. Ready

Select a large, heavy seed and moisten your mouth with a bit of watermelon flesh. Center the seed on your tongue, with the tapered end positioned forward for better aim. If you’re able, roll your tongue to make a barrel for your black bullet.

2. Aim

Approach the spitway, toes to the line, and inhale deeply through the nose (no one wants to perform the Heimlich). Lean back to achieve maximum force for propelling the seed.

3. Fire

Determine your technique: Champions either shoot up to create an arc and hope that a wind gust carries the seed or shoot down so it skips like a flat stone over still water (the bounce counts toward total distance). Abandoning all decorum, quickly expel your gathered breath through your rolled tongue. “Relax,” says Nickells. “You’re going to look silly, so get over it.”

Watch former champions demonstrate their prowess on Luling’s official spitway.

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