Get in the Game 
Snap Judgment
The TEXANIST reveals his authoritative, unimpeachable, and downright brilliant list of the top ten college football plays in Texas history (better luck next time, Baylor).
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6. Sirr Parker in double overtime
Texas A&M University v. Kansas State University
December 5, 1998 | Trans World Dome, St. Louis
The Texanist loves few things as he loves a good barn burner. Early in this Big 12 Championship it became known that UCLA had been defeated and was pretty much out of national title contention. All the number-one-ranked Wildcats of Kansas State had to do was win this here football game and the invitation was theirs. No problem: After three quarters of play, the Cats were up 27—12. But hold the presses, the Aggies had other ideas, and at the end of regulation the score stood at 27—27. One overtime did nothing but add 3 points to each team’s total. The matter was unresolved. But in the second OT, down 33—30 and faced with a knee-weakening third-and-seventeen, the Aggies caused the Sunflower State to wither with a pretty little slant play. Backup quarterback Branndon Stewart hit white-hot tailback Sirr Parker, who streaked through the Wildcats secondary for a dramatic 32-yard touchdown, a Big 12 title, a Sugar Bowl bid, and the tangy sweetness of playing the upsetter.
7. Texas Special
Texas A&M University v. University of Texas at Austin
November 25, 1965 | Kyle Field, College Station
As anyone who has ever enjoyed a little pre-turkey pigskin with him can attest, the Texanist is a devoted practitioner of gridiron guile. The trickier the play the better. And nothing surpasses this bit of Aggie tomfoolery. The Farmers were outgunned that Thanksgiving Day, but underdogdom can make for an inventive mother. Early in the second quarter Aggies quarterback Harry Ledbetter bounced a pass to wingback Jim Kauffman, who was standing out in the flats, just slightly behind the line of scrimmage. The perfectly executed wounded duck appeared as an incompletion, when in fact it was a lateral. Oscar nominee Kauffman (and the award goes to . . . Lee Marvin for Cat Ballou) caught the one-hopper and proceeded to put on a foot-stomping, head-shaking performance that lasted just long enough for the Horns to go momentarily slack and receiver Ken “Dude” McLean to clear the nearest defender by 15 yards. Kauffman suddenly turned and chunked the ball to a wide-open McLean, who streaked to the end zone for one hell of a touchdown. Ninety-one yards, the longest in Southwest Conference history at that point. In the mind of the Texanist, no Statue of Liberty, flea-flicker, or fumblerooski has since matched the audacious derring-do of the 1965 Aggies and their Texas Special.
8. Steelers Roll Left
University of Texas at Austin v. University of Nebraska
December 7, 1996 | Trans World Dome, St. Louis
Texas quarterback James Brown showed some mighty big pecans on his way to leading the Longhorns to an upset victory over the two-time defending national champion Cornhuskers in the first Big 12 Conference Championship. The dispensers of conventional wisdom had the Longhorns, 7-4 on the season, losing the game by three touchdowns. But before the game, Brown boldly ventured a 21-point victory for his team. The Texanist is loath to put it this way, but it was game on. Jump to late in the fourth quarter, Longhorns barely clinging to a 3-point lead, stalled on their own 28-yard line with a fourth down and inches. Steelers Roll Left, a pass-run option, was the stomach-churning genius from Coach John Mackovic, who had favored the run over the pass. Brown took the snap, turned to his right and then on around, rolling left. The Huskers came, and Longhorns tight end Derek Lewis went. Brown planted and threw. Lewis was brought down 61 yards later on the Huskers’ 10, and great joy was felt all over the Forty Acres. Final score: Texas 37, Nebraska 27.
9. Miracle in Mississippi
Trinity University v. Millsaps College
October 27, 2007 | Harper Davis Field, Jackson, Mississippi
Picture it: The Trinity Tigers are down by two on their own 39-yard line with a shot at the Southern Collegiate Athletic Conference title at stake. Two seconds are left on the clock. The Texanist, hungry and assuming the Tigers are toast, goes to the kitchen to roust some grub. Set, hike! Tigers quarterback Blake Barmore connects with Shawn Thompson; Thompson laterals it to Riley Curry; Curry laterals to Josh Hooten; Hooten goes to Michael Tomlin; the Texanist ladles some lukewarm halftime chili over a bed of Fritos; Tomlin finds Stephen Arnold; Arnold back to Thompson; Thompson to Brandon Maddux; the Texanist scrapes some dregs from the grated-cheese bowl; Maddux back to Curry; Curry back to Maddux; Maddux back to Barmore; the Texanist sprinkles chopped onion over the top; Barmore back to Thompson; Thompson back to Curry; the Texanist garnishes with jalapeño; Curry back to Tomlin; Tomlin back to Hooten; Hooten back to Maddux; the Texanist pops the top off a cold libation; oh, no, Maddux fumbles! Wait, Curry recovers it at the Millsaps 34. Curry has it. He picks up a block, he’s running it in! Touchdown Trinity! The Texanist returns to the couch, having completely missed the most amazing 62 seconds in Division III history. Tigers win 28—24!
10. Bench Tackle
Rice University v. University of Alabama
January 1, 1954 | Cotton Bowl, Dallas
The Texanist thought that Kyle Field, in College Station, had claim to the Twelfth Man, but it’s the Cotton Bowl, in Dallas, that is his actual home. At least it was in the second quarter of the 1954 Cotton Bowl, which had the Rice Owls facing Alabama’s Crimson Tide. Rice’s star running back, Dickey Moegle (now spelled Maegle), had hung a 79-yard touchdown on the Tide six minutes earlier, and after breaking loose on a nifty little sweep, he was hotfooting it down the sideline on his way to a 95-yarder when college football history was made. As Moegle blew past midfield, fullback Tommy Lewis, who had been seated on the Alabama bench, suddenly found that his enthusiasm had become unbridled and, without bothering to don his headgear (or review a copy of the American football book of rules), charged onto the field and brought Moegle down with a ferocious block. Moegle was awarded the touchdown; Rice won the game handily, 28—6; and Moegle and Lewis made an appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show a few days later. Though Lewis’s malpractice can hardly be called great, 55 years after the fact it is still one of college football’s most unforgettably bizarre moments.
The Texanist would rather not hear from you about his list, but if you must: texanist@texasmonthly.com.
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