The Bum Steers Bookshelf.
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The Bleacher Bible
By Chris Sneed,
Cotten Publishing of Lubbock, $9.95.
Heckling manual by a diehard Texas Tech Red Raiders baseball fan. “You’ve got jungle disease: you look like Tarzan but you swing like Jane.”
Cigar Chic: A Woman’s Perspective
By Tomima Edmark of Dallas,
The Summit Publishing Group, $14.95.
“Don’t hold a cigar in your mouth while lighting it. Men can and do, but women should not. You’ll look unattractively like a blowfish.”
What the Animals Tell Me: Developing Your Innate Telepathic Skills to Understand and Communicate With Your Pets
By Sonya Fitzpatrick of the Woodlands, with Patricia Burkhart Smith,
“‘As long as I was a small turtle, this tank was fine, but now I am too big for it and have no room to swim and the water gets dirty too quickly,’ the turtle told me.”
Whoop! An Aggie Football Weekend
By Cindy King Boettcher
Illustrated by Tammie L. Bissett,
Beraam Publishing in Brenham
ISBN: 0965275116 $16.95.
Two pint-size Aggies-to-be attend their first home game—in verse. “It was off to A&M one sunny autumn day / Following a map, Jill and Ty helped find the way / To the football weekend down in Aggieland, / Part of the Tradition of this school so grand.”
I Hate the Dallas Cowboys—And Who Elected Them America’s Team Anyway?
Edited by Bert Sugar,
St. Martin’s Press/Griffin
ISBN: 0312168683 $11.95.
A collection of rantings and ravings about the Cowboys by sportswriters and former opponents (including Jerry Kramer and Billy Kilmer). “This volume is dedicated to everyone who has ever rooted against the Dallas Cowboys or cringed at hearing them called America’s Team. It is our small contribution to the taking of America back from Dallas and returning it to all fans everywhere.”
InterCourses: An Aphrodisiac Cookbook
by Baylor grads Martha Hopkins and Randall Lockridge
ISBN: 0965327507 $24.95
Libido-intensive recipes and intimate tales. Pine-nut pie: “I cut a little wedge and put it on a fork and started to hand it to her, warning her that it was hot. She then grabbed my hand with the fork in it and proceeded to blow on the food, her eyes never leaving me the whole time.”
The Official Tex-Mex Cookbook
By T. L. Bush
Gulf Publishing in Houston
ISBN: 0884155927 $14.95.
The author, an Iowan, includes a recipe for green beans with hard-boiled eggs and avocado wedges.