authors

Sarah Bird

Features

Desperate Housewives

In this excerpt from writer-at-large Sarah Bird’s new novel, How Perfect Is That, the realities of life in early twenty-first century Austin become all-too-clear to a defrocked socialite. June 2008

Columns | Miscellany

This Year’s Model

Hey, captains of industry: If Dr. Evil can have a Mini Me, why can’t the rest of us? June 2008

In a Lather

My Petco encounter with a shampoo celebrity. April 2008

Geezer Nation

Greetings from Snowbirdlandia! Wish you were old. February 2008

Home Groan

One year (okay, two days) of livin’ la vida locavore. January 2008

Craigslust

Suburban mom seeks motorcycle jacket. December 2007

The Triptych to Bountiful

Let’s go to the science fair! August 2007

Hog Wild

I subject myself to yet another seminal Texas experience: the hunt. July 2007

No Ifs, Abs, Or Butts

My instructor is a Flabbo Nazi, and other tales from the aerobics wars. June 2007

Lark of The Covenant

Bill Zedler’s plan to keep me married—forever. May 2007

The Price Is Rite

Getting in touch with my inner bargain hunter. April 2007

Good-bye, Mrs. Chips

My short, happy life as a poker player. March 2007

Tour De Farce

The absurdity of the college visit (and why you should leave your kids at home). February 2007

Horn ’Em, Hookers!

Texas versus Iowa State versus me. January 2007

Snakes on a Brain

The day I slithered from movie theater to movie theater. December 2006

Neck And Neck

Nora Ephron’s wattle, and Ann Richards’s, and mine. November 2006

Going Private

Teen Boy’s sugar-free education. October 2006

My Dirty Little Secret

I’m a slob. There, I said it. Now don’t mess with me. September 2006

Pedal to My Mettle

Teen Boy gets behind the wheel. August 2006

Meet the Needles

A few sore points about HMOs— and two thumbs-up for the acupuncturist. July 2006

Step Lively

My dancing feet. And, hopefully, yours. June 2006

There is a world where the kings of small African countries send cases of Dom Pérignon as hostess gifts, where you get to choose between the white-striped chinchilla and the violet beaver shearling poncho. Who let me in? May 2006

Buy, Buy, Birdie

Ladies’ fashion is nothing if not a fantasy inside an illusion wrapped in a thong. Every season, there is a new “look,” a new “trend,” a new “paranoid schizophrenic thought disorder.” And then there are returns. April 2006