Cook Like a Texan “Letter to the Editor”
Photograph by Jody Horton
On March 29 we received this letter to the editor:
The greasy slop recipes in Home Plates are disgusting, the photos were stomach turning. The chili looked like diarrhea, the meat was charred and carcinogenic, and anything fried and/or covered in cheese and grease is disgusting. The enchiladas look like exudate from an untended wound.
Doves wrapped in cream cheese and bacon destroys the delicious taste of doves. Try potted dove or quail, that is a real Texas dish. I’ve lived in Texas all my long life and I have never eaten such horrible food. But then I am not fat and unhealthy as are so many Texans. Anyone eating the food in Home Plates would soon be butt-sprung, gut-busted, old before their time, and headed for the cardiac care unit. Your article should make a lot of people turn vegetarian.
I have a question for Patricia Sharpe: Do you eat such unhealthy food and if so, how much do you weigh and how many bypass surgeries (heart and/or gastric) have you had?
Even if these recipes are only “tongue in cheek,” Home Plates will only promote the belief that Texans are ignorant, tasteless, crude, backwoods red necks! Just stop it! Try printing articles that make us look better and don’t hold us up to ridicule, if that is possible.
Barbara Duvall
Houston, Texas
Oh well – can’t please everybody! That question about Pat, of course, was answered in her classic 2005 essay “Confessions of a Skinny Bitch.”
bud the pieman!!! says:
Tt is so easy to throw criticisms online…. no regard is given to the heart from which the story is written from. The sad part of responses like these is that folks reveal the shallowness of their heart.
As a dear old friend, the late DANNY ROY YOUNG used to say…. “I don’t know where you are from but in Texas we don’t treat people with such disrespect & talk to them that way!!!”
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Daniel Vaughn says:
“…the meat was charred and carcinogenic…”
1. The meat pictured is the epitome of fine Texas BBQ. Smoked brisket has a blackened exterior from hours of cooking under indirect heat and smoke, not a charred coating that your veggie burger may be getting due to your poor grilling skills.
2. The carcinogenic BS you’re spouting is probably based on your annual perusal of scare tactic articles that come out a week or so before Memorial Day weekend. The studies purported there are based carcinogens forming on direct grilled meats in temperatures around 600 degrees. Slow smoking at 250-300 degrees is lower than the 392 degree threshold above which heterocyclic amines (HCA’s) form. Get your facts straight before trying to be our self-appointed physicians.
3. If you truly think that ANYTHING fried or covered in cheese is disgusting, why should we trust any of your opinions about food?
4. The statement that eating any unhealthy foods, no matter their historical or cultural importance to a place, is ignorant. The only diarrhea is flowing from your head to your keyboard.
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C. Marie says:
You two put it so well I’m not even gonna attempt to add anything to your replies! lol!
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Fred morales says:
Dear Barbara Duvall,
I’d like to send you a recipe for my favorite Texas dish Duck Roux, except the fact that it doesn’t exist! However, see if you can think of two other words that rhyme with it…THAT’S what I gladly send your way!! Now quit reading this and get back to your post at the second window; my onion rings are getting cold!
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Smitty says:
Ditto to what C. Marie said! Bud and Daniel…you nailed it! Thanks! And as my momma used to say in the kitchen makin’ good Texas food, “empty kettles rattle the loudest!”
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Ryan M. says:
“I’ve lived in Texas all my long life and I have never eaten such horrible food. But then I am not fat and unhealthy as are so many Texans”
Well, you may have lived in Texas all your life Barbara, but you are as arrogant, self-righteous and judgmental as any Yankee I’ve ever met.
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C. D. Fields says:
All you folks that spoke before me… I love it! I couldnt have said anything better myself! Ill only add one thing to Barbara’s vomit of a comment. Seems to me that youre the ignorant on considering ALL the replies so far are against you. Be a REAL Texan and have a LOT more respect for the poeple that interviewed and gave these recipes to the public. They didnt have to and Im damn certain that they didnt want to hear you babble about how bad you think their food is. What makes your “recipes” so much better? Frankly I dont reckon id wipe my ass with any of your recipes if you think that the food shown here is bad. Its some of the most wholesome food around and its cooked with pride and cooked by good people.
Thanks
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Gary Bain says:
The Home Plate food you so insidiously insult
is why Texas is the absolute culinary envy of the rest of the world. These recipes are a priceless
reminder of our heritage and our legacy. You may have physically lived in Texas all of your life
and pardon me for saying what’s obvious…
You’re certainly NOT a Texan in the true sense
of the word. I hope someday you have the pleasure
of tasting some of these incredible recipes…till then, please pass the cream gravy!!!
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Texas Legacy Lady says:
Barbara says she’s lived in Texas all her life and then speaks of our food like some ignorant, arrogant damned Yankee carpetbagger. She certainly can cancel her subscription to Texas Monthly because she doesn’t enjoy it. If I were her I’d take to the old admonition from I believe Abraham Lincoln who said, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt”. If you don’t like the food, Barbara, we certainly aren’t encouraging you to eat it. Who cares? So far as I’m concerned, you don’t belong in Texas with that attitude.
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Red River Girl Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 4:21 pm
“Barbara says she’s lived in Texas all her life and then speaks of our food like some ignorant, arrogant damned Yankee carpetbagger.”
I love you, Legacy Lady….
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Texas Legacy Lady Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Thanks Red River Girl! 6th Generation Texan here with roots so deep even Barbara can’t pull ‘em loose. I stay locked and loaded with my trusty firearms and a mouth that will defend Texas and all that makes it Texas til they pry that plate of barbeque and the side of enchiladaa from my cold, dead hand. God bless Texas and either love it or leave it!!!
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Red River Girl Reply:
April 20th, 2011 at 5:43 pm
*Virtual high five* I’m a fifth generation Texan myself and I feel the same as you…Pssst, I married a carpetbagger and he can never understand. Don’t mess with my kids, my dog or my Texas!
Joe Defazio says:
Barbara,
Take it from a 4th-generation Native Texan, the only person looking ridiculous right now is you. Long live Texas BBQ!!!
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Mark says:
Such cornpone ideas as that I ain’t never heard…I don’t know what she’s been smokin’ but I reckon her brain must be fried! She obviously don’t know beans about Texas or Texans and needs to just simmer down and maybe she’ll see us in a butter light. I’m glad you’ve claimed a stake here in Texas, and obviously you’re not too chicken to speak directly like a good Texan, but ma’am, did you have to hit us with the whole enchilada? When you insult our food it’s like a shot right in the ribs.
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Gary Brown says:
If it wasn’t for my lateness on trying to reply, All I would’ve, has already been said to Ms. Barbara (bless her heart, hse’s on meds), but being a Texan, you damned well I have more to add to that diatribe she spouted, so I will.
Dear Barbara,
It was nice of you to send such a lovely letter to TM’s editors. It is nice to know the doctors allowed you access to communications devices and send your thoughts. I do have to say that the food you eat is prescribed by licenced nutritionist at the “place” and it is for your health, we know in time you will get better”
Bless your heart, we’re prayin for ya to recover from that delusional stuff soon,
Love, Texas
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Gary Brown says:
P.S. The dogs are good, Uncle Bubba’s out back doing a 10hr Brisket (again) and Juanitas in the house cokkin up a mess of those enchiladas Aunt Peggy loves so much…but we’re thinkin of you always..
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Buck says:
Would comment, but this made me hungry for a platter of exudate–
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Denise says:
As has already been pointed out, Ms. Duvall isn’t a real Texas. I was talking to a New York new-comer yesterday, and she asked if I was a native Texan. I proudly answered “Yes, a 4th Generation Texan” and realized a truth I then shared with my new friend. “A real Texan can always tell you what Generation Texan they are, and is proud to let you know.” Ms. Duvall said that she is a life long Texan, but apparently she has shallow roots.
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C. D. Fields says:
Oh sorry all.. I forgot to add that im a 4 generation texan and my wife is about to have a Fifth generation texan
God bless Texas!
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Parisian Cowboy says:
As a 5th generation Texan (gosh, that makes me proud!) and self proclaimed “flexetarian” I find it hard to believe anyone could get so worked up about food! My parents raised me and my siblings to be polite and well mannered, especially so at the table. A simple, “No, thank you, I don’t care for that” would’ve been more than sufficient.
Bon appetit y’all!
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