Russian River Roulette
Finally the NRA has come up with a way to get liberal commies on their side. Cheap wine. DAMN IT. That’s like our kryptonite! Apparently there’s an exclusive NRA Wine Club for gun-totin’ pinot lovers like yourself, and they’re offering a special deal to new customers: six wines for $6.99 a bottle and free shipping and a free welcome gift! Your very own semi-automatic! Granted, you can get $7 wine now. I’m sure your friends appreciate that Yellow Tail ass-shiraz you keep bringing over.
Some of the fine wines offered by the NRA Club include a Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon, a Chalk Hill Chardonnay, an Italian Pinot Grigio, and a Russian River Valley Pinot Noir. Hurt me. But wait! There’s more! Showing that he’s not all armed and dangerous, a kinder, gentler Wayne LaPierre will personally throw in a deluxe wood custom NRA-engraved Wine Box so you can show your dinner guests how classy you are.
And, while you’re enrolling in the Wine Club, take a look around at all the special gifts the NRA has to offer, like these precious NRA bibs. Nothing says adorable like baby-killer-in-training.
Tagged: nra, wine club.
Rog says:
I’m a little too liberal to own a gun, but I’d like to have a taser, sort of NRA-lite to go with my Miller-lite.
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Born to be Dick says:
Being a native East Texan, I wouldn’t know what wine goes best with blasting a forest all to hell using an AR-15 other than a big jug of Gallo red. However, nothing shows the sheer poetry of shootin’ like whiskey — the cheaper, the better. Them there NRA boys been inside that Beltway thing way too long.
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pelletized potted meat says:
Well Cheney uses beer to tune up his hunting skills, and deer hunting certainly lends itself to whiskey, in the cold.
Not sure where these wine/weapon mergers came from: sound like some California marketing brainstorm reached thru straight shots, late hours, and bad research.
I was cleaning out a drawer and found my NRA Pro-Marksman medal. That target looked like an Austin Lawyer on a caged bird shoot.
I am a firm defender of the second amendment, but assult weapons, etc, make the NRA look like the nutzos they have become.
Hatfield is to McCoy :: Palin is to Johnson.
No helicopters permitted.
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texxasredd says:
I’m confused. Would that be “baby-killer” in training or baby “killer-in-training??
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Eileen Reply:
October 29th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Either way, I sure am hungry.
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Anonymous Liberal Lout says:
I agree with Born to be Dick, above (man that sounds funny when you say it out loud.) This red wine and ammo trend show how out of touch the NRA is with both it’s membership and the American Public. Please, I wouldn’t touch a long gun with anything less than a Cab, and then only a black powder rifle (the essence of smoke, a little sulphur, and just a slight touch of bore butter (that’s what she said!).
For more modern weapons, only a straight liquor can handle the more acrid powder smoke.
Your only excuse for anything else is beer. To geerate more targets.
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treehugger says:
Actually, ethanol (everclear) does a nice job of removing sulfates from gun barrels. Isopropanol (rubbing alcohol) is cheaper though.
This has got to be a way for NRA to try to increase the number of female members. And anything that enhances females is generally approved by the Y chromosome contingent.
But ladies, cheap wine is ok but hold out for quality firearms. You wouldn’t settle for a crap wedding ring, so don’t settle for a “cute” revolver. Nothing says “I love you” like a well crafted firearm. And if the relationship tanks, the resale value is better than your used diamond.
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Don't Mess w/ Pink Reply:
October 30th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
You do have a way with words. I’m going to use that next time a friend wants to get a CHL so she can carry a cute revolver. Jeez, it’s not a fucking fashion accessory!
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treehugger Reply:
October 30th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Pink grips on stainless steel is just wrong!
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ellie Reply:
October 30th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Ladies, if a man starts talking diamonds, firearms and bad relationships as if they are all typically found together, walk away.
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treehugger says:
No worries, I’m still a faithful liberal D but I do like my guns and wish I had more and better ones. NRA is great for gun education and technical items, but just nuts crazyland re: politics.
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lush says:
All this gun talk is making me kinda hot. IJS.
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treehugger says:
This is not a hollowpoint.
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treehugger says:
Actually its Halloween so maybe we should be talk fishing and trick or treaters. I’m going with a soft bait this year…tootsie rolls rigged weedless on a plastic worm hook and 20# test.
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Chilicook says:
Send lawyers, guns and Merlot!
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