Video Killed the Asteroids Star
Earlier today on KUT, there was a story on the new Modern Warfare games. Since the last video game I played was Lost Luggage, maybe I’m not the best person to speak to this. However, I pride myself on keeping up with what the young kids are doing these days and, given that they’re apparently having sex in fifth grade now, video games like these must be made for middle school dorks. But now they’re middle school dorks who can blow your f—king head off.
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (HOW DID I MISS THE FIRST ONE?) hit the shelves this week and is expected to be the biggest-selling game of the year. Here’s how Matt Peckham of PC World describes just one of the scenes:
As the video begins, a load sequence displays blurred words like “madman” and “body count” onscreen. When it completes, several men—one of them controlled by the player—step from an elevator into a baggage reclaim area, leveling high-caliber machine guns at clustered civilians, then unloading into the crowd. The player hesitates, then joins in, firing indiscriminately at the seething huddle.
The gunfire pauses, the smoke partly clears, and bodies are strewn everywhere. Terrified, heartrending screams issue from somewhere beyond. The player advances through the baggage area, spotting fleeing civilians and firing in bursts. He proceeds up stairs, scanning for victims, zooming down his iron sights to better aim, finishing off the crawling wounded, and lobbing ballistic grenades across the concourse.
OMG that’s just what I used to do with my Strawberry Shortcake dolls! Except Blueberry Muffin was always taken hostage by Huckleberry Pie and tortured until she could get her to talk! Does anyone else think this game might be taking those playful water gun battles of yore a bit too far? It’s almost as gruesome as the Left Behind games but those are OK because you’re killing people for God.
Clearly there is not enough war and bloodshed going on in real life so we need to manufacture it and market it to children. Instead of sitting in front of their Xbox and playing video games, they should use their imaginations. Like the makeshift hospital my sisters and I put together, where our bedroom drawers sufficed as beds and when a patient doll died, we’d simply close the drawer. Hey look at that! We were doing death panels before death panels were cool!
Tagged: call of duty, modern warfare 2.
WOW parent says:
Everybody male I know under 17 is completely ditzy about this.
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chris says:
any male between the age of 12 – 30 is ditzy about this game what r u talking about
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lush Reply:
November 11th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Yet another reason for me to date older men. And no “men” that play video games. In my experience, there is a direct correlation between a dude’s obsession with video games his distinct lack of sensuality. PASS.
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Eileen Reply:
November 11th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Stop teasing the older men on this blog.
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potted meat Reply:
November 11th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT YOUR AVATAR IS, IIIIN!
TOO COOL!
Thank God I’m not old, and get along with Lush just fine, except when she reads me the riot act.
I’ve come to understand that as part of the excitement of redheads.
She’s a great friend to have.
d:>
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Dr J says:
I’m really more of a Frogger man myself.
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all_hail_the_pink says:
Your poor dolls…if only they’d had a public option…they could have been saved. :)
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Dr J says:
OK, I just watched the trailer. I have boys who are 6 and 4. If this crap is mainstream now, where will we be in 10 years when I’m ready to let them leave the house?
This country is so absolutely screwed.
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Credentials says:
Not sure what the difference is between this and the 1,000 GI Joe plastic figures the boys on my block had when we were little. They still blew each other up, still pretended to attack the Barbie dolls, still loved to play war games.
It just wasn’t in technicolor. The presentation is different, but the game is the same.
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Dr J Reply:
November 11th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
The difference is that I played with GI Joes and I turned out fine, whereas any kid who plays this junk will obviously turn into an antisocial maniac.
Kids Today! Also.
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Dukakis in a tank Reply:
November 11th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Yeah. I watched that really wanting to be appalled. But when it was over, all I could say was, “Awesome.”
I need an X-Box
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potted meat says:
I still have “Duck Hunt”, so eat it, all you young punks.
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West Texas Hillbilly says:
Cool. Now you can get PTSD without enlisting.
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Eileen says:
Did you see where he stabs that guy in the face? Not that there’s everything wrong with that.
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Amanda says:
Eileen,
You voted for Obama and you are worried about kids playing video games? Be more concerned your choice for president just sold these kids future to China.
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Don't Mess w/ Pink Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Yeah, we’d be so much better off with Palin a heartbeat away from the presidency. Please. And if you’re referring to the economic stimulus package, McCain’s position was the same as President Obama’s. So …
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treehugger says:
I never got past feeding quarters into Asteroids, Gallaga, and Tank video games for a time in the early 80’s. I did graduate to feeding drinks into assorted single females. The quarry was much more appealing. Pre-GI Joe we had molded plastic soldiers in WWII, Civil War, or Cowboy and Indian models. They weren’t very interactive but they would do spectacular somersaults when hit in the chest with a direct hit from a bb. Grenades in the form of firecrackers added some flair around the 4th of July. We had our wargames, but we got dirt and grass stains for our efforts.
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potted meat says:
Lou Dobbs did his last show on CNN tonite.
He is being replaced by a day laborer for $7.35 hr. That’s almost $75 dollars a week. MAS DENERO.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/11/lou-dobbs-to-depart-cnn_n_354623.html
Good luck, Lou.
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jimbo says:
Actually Amanda I believe the national debt was 10 trillion dollars at the end of 2008 and is expected to be 13 trillion by the end of this year. So whilst it is going to increase significantly this year it was already pretty stupid money beforehand. Of that debt around 50% is foreign owned and of that around 20% is owned by China. So technically Obama is only selling 10% of our grandchildren to China. Personally I’m allotting my grandchildren in the 3% owned by Brazil, Carnival!!
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Pinkles says:
/Snort
I get a kick out of the “Obama is leading us to hellfire and damnation” crowd….they are so concerned for my children. It.is.just.so. touching. Exactly where were my children headed under Bush’s reign?
/Don’tcha know-that’s why I had kids–so I could use them as pawnie faves for blog arguments with God fearin’ souls who want what’s best for ‘em.
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Pinkles says:
No worries about all those kids who were sent to Iraq based on a bunch of lies that were trumpeted by our president a while back? You know: the twit who said “Mission Accomplished”?
Wow.
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Pinkles says:
I like that spin on Huff: “advocacy journalism”
….that’s code for: “Coulter-Truthing”, right?
/Luminescent pendejism….Thank you Facundo Cabral.
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treehugger Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 8:00 am
Call of Duty, Modern Warfare ITPTM with the coffee this morning Pinkles? No worries, shooting down comment trolls is more fun than advancing to the next level in a video game. And it requires a vocabulary.
In other news, can you imagine Taylor Swift ever making the Country Music Hall of Fame?
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potted meat Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 9:02 am
Bubble Country.
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Commie Pinko says:
With the spread of ED(Erectile Dysfunction) running rampid in the US, men need something to channel their frustrations into. You know the old saying, ‘Make Love not War’? Well…the first one just isn’t happening.
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treehugger Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 11:39 am
I don’t think the channel is the problem actually…more the ship. Is rampid a cross between rampant and rabid? If so (or not), I kinda like it.
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Pinkles says:
I never made it past Pacman ;) Dad kept exhorting the “virtues” of reading, education and what not
what a waste of time
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Pinkles says:
let’s hear it for the Luddites :D
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Pinkles says:
So Mickey Mouse really did invade the sanctity of Country music? I thot that was just a rumor…
oh hell, I think the hugger is right. Maybe some tea in the morning would make cupcakes seem more palatable
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potted meat says:
WoW ! I think Pinkles set a record.
Should be a CMA award for most ITP postings in the shortest time.
d:>
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Victoria says:
My husband is an avid gamer and has been waiting with bated breath for this one to be available. Keep in mind that this game is rated “M” for mature by the ESRB. That means 17 and over. Letting a kid play the game is about the same as taking them to see a NC-17 movie. I suppose everyone took their kids to “Showgirls” as well? A little common sense is all that is needed. “Video game” does not equal “kid game”.
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Eileen Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Oh wait! No one can play unless they’re 17 and over? That changes EVERYTHING. (I saw Showgirls when I was 12.)
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potted meat Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Why?
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potted meat says:
Yep. Just like kids don’t smoke, and don’t drink.
I wonder who the ads are directed at? Your husband, who has every right to play this game, or the million 14 year olds , who are gonna get it?
As to the movies….. have you been to a movie theater in the last decade or so? once you’re in, you can go to the ‘theatre’ of choice in the hall of really big screen TV’s.
The ratings are ‘cute’.
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Victoria says:
Oh come on Eileen! Ok sorry, worst pun ever. I’m not trying to say kids can’t get their hands on things that aren’t age appropriate. I just don’t think there is any more reason to object to games with adult themes than there is to object to movies with the same themes. If you’re going to object to the creation of anything with objectionable themes, then you’re going to be hanging with Perry a lot more than I would have expected. If you get close to him, please touch his hair and report back. I imagine it as rather spongy.
Also, if any of you are the ones leaving those tweens at the movie theatre by my house, please come pick them up. I keep telling them to get off my lawn, but they keep coming back!
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Slave to the State says:
So are we talking about censoring the ads or censoring the games? I’d be all for banning the ads on tv (as they did with smoking and alcohal). Banning the actual games is over the line for me.
Although, if we are going to ban stuff that sucks, I say we first go after wearing Uggs with shorts. I’m just sayin’.
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Jed says:
how about censuring the people who think that stuff qualifies as entertainment?
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Amanda says:
Politico, today: “On the practical side, Obama has spent more money on new programs in nine months than Bill Clinton did in eight years, pushing the annual deficit to $1.4 trillion. This leaves little room for big spending initiatives.”
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Jed says:
he’s too busy spending to leave room for more spending?
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potted meat says:
It’s complicated.
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