Lately I feel like I should preface every post with “No. Seriously. I’m not making this up. I’m not that good.” Take this headline (please).

Depressed Woman Loses Benefits After Facebook Post in Which She Looked Happy
Insurance company cuts benefits after woman posts fun pictures to Facebook page.

Wait a minute. INSURANCE COMPANIES ARE WATCHING US ON FACEBOOK? So all that money I’ve been getting for my bogus hip replacement will be taken away? I’m going to start carrying a crutch around with me. I must mention my health in half of my status updates, like “Eileen Smith… hopes that her insurance plan never finds out about her numerous preexisting conditions! LOL!” (In retrospect, I did think it was strange that Aetna gave it an “I like” thumbs up.)

Back to the depressed woman who clearly wasn’t depressed because she was making contact with the outside world instead of sitting in her house staring vacantly at her dog while it held its leash, begging to go out. It turns out that a Canadian woman named Nathalie Blanchard posted some photos of her vacation and a few nights out with friends on her Facebook page. According to the article, Blanchard “appears to be having a good time.” Which is unacceptable given that she’s been on sick leave from her job at IBM’s Quebec office for the past year after she was diagnosed with major depression. I mean, if she had killed herself, they probably would have believed her.

So when the benefits were cut off and the checks stopped coming, Blanchard was told it was because “her Facebook pictures indicated she was no longer depressed and ready to return to work.” Oh BAM. This is like when Mike Brady proved that the guy wearing the neck brace in court was faking it after he turned his neck when Brady threw his briefcase on the floor. And it was like, don’t f*ck with the Bradys.

Blanchard insists that just because she has a few good hours once every couple of weeks doesn’t mean that she’s not still suffering from depression. It just means that she’s drunk for a few hours every couple of weeks. She and her lawyer Thomas Lavin are taking legal action against IBM and her health insurance company Manulife, arguing that her doctor was the one who recommended that she socialize with family and friends. Why not sue the doctor for malpractice? He should have told her to check into the nearest hospital and post photos of herself looking miserable in group therapy.

Lavin says that he’s aware of insurers that troll social networks in order to “red flag” someone and prompt further medical reviews or examinations. “It’s kind of a heads up to people about what they put on their Facebook accounts,” he said. “It’s going to be much more prevalent. I think employers and insurance companies need to have a protocol in a case like this.” I always knew this whole “social networking” thing would become a force of evil.

[via ABC]

Tagged: facebook, manulife, nathalie blanchard.