Pure as the Driven Ho
You know how to get more people to come to your party? Give them a purity test at the door! (Free alcohol and heavy apps is so 2008.) Yes, the Republican party has decided that instead of welcoming moderates, increasing diversity, and reaching out to independents, they’ll just get whiter, older, and more conservative. Some members of the RNC are proposing a 10-point “purity” checklist to be administered to potential Republican candidates to make sure they’re worthy of the party’s time and money and the coveted Glenn Beck endorsement. If the candidate does not properly adhere to Republican core principles, like opposing Obama’s “socialist agenda,” they’ll be Scozzafavafied.
One of the biggest supporters of the purity resolution is, not surprisingly, Dick Armey and his FreedomWorks militia. “The Republican Party knows it has to repair its standing with the American people,” Armey said. “If you listen to the voters’ anger out there, I think they’re saying, ‘We want the Republican Party to define themselves as a real alternative to the Democrat Party.’ ” If he’s talking about those tea partiers, I don’t think they’re saying they want a “real alternative to the Democrat Party.” I think they’re saying they want “Obama’s head on a plate.”
Seriously? A purity pledge? That’ll work out about as well as those high school father-daughter purity balls and purity rings and sworn abstinence affidavits and chastity belts. Nobody on earth signs a pledge thinking that they’ll actually have to make good on it. Or else I’m still blood brothers with half of my seventh grade class and expected to lay down my life for them.
RNC’s Top Ten:
(1) We support smaller government, smaller national debt, lower deficits and lower taxes by opposing bills like Obama’s “stimulus” bill.
(2) We support market-based health care reform and oppose Obama-style government run healthcare.
(3) We support market-based energy reforms by opposing cap and trade legislation.
(4) We support workers’ right to secret ballot by opposing card check.
(5) We support legal immigration and assimilation into American society by opposing amnesty for illegal immigrants.
(6) We support victory in Iraq and Afghanistan by supporting military-recommended troop surges.
(7) We support containment of Iran and North Korea, particularly effective action to eliminate their nuclear weapons threat.
(8) We support retention of the Defense of Marriage Act.
(9) We support protecting the lives of vulnerable persons by opposing health care rationing, denial of health care and government funding of abortion.
(10) We support the right to keep and bear arms by opposing government restrictions on gun ownership.
Well I guess that 10 core principles is easier to adhere to than the 10 Commandments. They’ve had some issues with lucky number seven.
Tagged: dick armey, purity checklist, RNC.
potted meat says:
I thought the GOP were athletic supporters. No mention.
They have a wide stance on issues, it’s true. However, they keep getting caught in that stall tactic.
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Fled says:
I have a one point pledge that I think, gets to the same net effect:
“We support NO!”
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Don't Mess w/ Pink says:
I think this is exactly the right strategy. Push the moderates out. I mean, it worked so well in New York and in the last presidential election after McCain picked Palin and turned himself into Dick Armey’s ventriloquist’s dummy. Oh, wait … well, whatever. Hear ye, hear ye! These people are geniuses, I tell you. Geniuses.
Plus, it is a document so full of disconnects and non sequiturs, how can you just not love it?
1. Smaller government, etc. vs. “Obama’s” stimulus bill. Uh, never mind that it was Bush’s before it was Obama’s, but apparently these people would have stood by while the country imploded. Yes, the deficit is bigger right now, but at least we have something to argue about, instead of who gets to eat whom while standing in the bread line.
2. Obama’s “government run health care plan” isn’t market-based? It would not be taxpayer subsidized and would use the market and competition to bring down prices. Consequently, it *is* market-based health reform. Hellooo? You may not like the kind of “market-based” it is, but it is market-based. The alternative is government-dictated price controls which I frankly think is preferable. But that definitely is not market-based.
3. Ditto cap and trade. Cap and trade ideas were the original market-based pollution solutions that conservatives used to love so much they practically had sex with them. What happened? Oh, yeah. I remember. It turned out you still actually had to cut emissions. So inconvenient!
4. Support legal assimilation by giving those here absolutely no route for legal assimilation. Okaaaay.
I love these guys.
With this as their strategy, the D’s should be in power awhile.
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Mazzy's Dog says:
Is it me or does “purity balls” just sound dirty?
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treehugger Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Big ball’s in Cowtown we’ll all go down.
Big ball’s in Cowtown we’ll dance around.
Put on your new shoes, put on your gown.
Big ball’s in Cowtown we’ll dance around.
A source of endless hilarity back in jr. high.
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potted meat Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
grow up.
/nevermind.
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West Texas Hillbilly says:
11) We support market-based defense by opposing Obama’s socialized military.
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potted meat says:
DMwP:
~*The dems ’should’ stay in power a while….*~
Assuming they will assume power.
We have seen a pathetic display of ‘more of the same’ for the entire year, and the economy is getting WORSE for real people (not WS)…. one in 4 is upside down on their home: simple credit is hard to get unless you are ‘excellent’ in Cr score….ec.
Obama has been a huge dissapointment. Come on. Be honest.
we are getting ready to commit another 30,000+ to the mideast, and that won’t be cheap, nor accomplish anything. When we leave, it will be like the Red Sea closing back in after Moses….. and remember , Moses led his flock thru the desert for , what?, 40 years?…. Obama, the USA, we don’t have that kind of time, and I’ll be pretty old in 40 years. Really. Old.
So here is the thing: the GOP will WIN seats in spite of their ridiculous positions, because they are NOT THE DEMOCRATS….. that is, unless the Congress and the President get it together, fire all those WS sympathetic ciminals. send people to jail, get money in the hands of people who will use it, rather than buy gold.
“The wine and oil shall flow, but a man will work a whole day for a loaf of bread”, the bible, paraphrased……..look around.
I don’t believe in the Rapture, and I think 2012 will be a renewal, Like January, when December ends a calandar year: question is… how much will a loaf of bread cost, and will US dollars be accepted.
Obama better get it moving, or maybe he already has, and …..we got fooled again.
/Golly!..Su-prize, su-prize.
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Commie Pinko says:
Sorry but I can’t get past the title of your article. It is a take off of a Christmas Party theme or a Guys in the Hood theme?
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Jed says:
by “guys in the hood,” you refer of course to plank
12) we support the southern strategy.
there’s a “yes” for ya.
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Anonymous says:
But how are prospective candidates supposed to choose between this and Laura Ingrahams competing ten point checklist? Should they sign them both or consider one over the other?
1) Taxpayers’ Bill of Rights (TABOR). Limit federal spending growth to the percentage in population growth plus the rate of inflation; provide taxpayers the option of filing a post-card sized return using a low, flat tax rate of 15%
2) End Tax-funded abortions. Stop federal payments to Planned Parenthood and prohibit any taxpayer-subsidized health insurance plan from covering abortion
3) Defend American Borders. Complete America’s border-protection initiatives using remaining funds from the so-called stimulus bill
4) King Dollar. Preserve a strong dollar so that Americans’ savings aren’t wiped out by inflation and the U.S. dollar remains the world’s reserve currency
5) Empower American Business. Immediately slash corporate tax rates to 15% and scrap the capital-gains tax altogether
6) Defend America. Strengthen America to defend our homeland and fully fund an operational, layered missile-defense system
7) Statism Exit Plan. De-fund czars; immediately cease bailout payments to failed companies; ban future bailouts
8)End Generational Theft. As few believe America’s entitlement programs will be able to pay benefits to future generations, provide younger workers the choice of diverting payroll/Social Security taxes into personal retirement accounts
9) Restore America’s System of Justice. Introduce penalties for frivolous lawsuits, where those who launch unsuccessful lawsuits are liable for the defendants’ legal bills
10) American Energy Independence. All-of-the-Above strategy that embraces alternatives, expands and accelerates exploration and production of oil and natural gas, and jumpstarts dramatic increases in nuclear power
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Dukakis in a tank Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Number 9 is funny. “Restore” America’s system of justice? You mean implement the English system of justice. America has never embraced a cost-shifting system–that is an aspect of the English system that American courts explicitly rejected. The reason? Because it discourages the poor from suing the rich. It might work in strictly commercial circumstances–company on company litigation. But it would effectively kill consumer litigation. Which is probably why it’s on her list in the first place. As we all know, big business never exploits people–poverty is your own fault.
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Lake Worth Monster Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 11:03 am
Re: point #8 – Just imagine how much you would be getting if you had diverted your retirement from Social Security into dot.com stocks in the 90’s or into the real estate market in the oughts. I don’t plan on Social Security to be my only source of retirement assets, but it will be a safety net in case my other investment options tank. Go see “The Road” this weekend to get an idea of how retirement will seem without Social Security.
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Prince Royal says:
Ironically, this pledge would have eliminated their own presidential nominee last year.
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The Freedom Doctor Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
You are correct sir.
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The Freedom Doctor says:
According to a recent poll conducted by James Carville and Stanley Greenberg’s Democracy Corps, 44% of likely voters describe themselves as Conservative while 19% describe themselves as Liberal. It also shows that Democrats have only a two point edge in the generic congressional ballot.
The ten principles above reflect conservative ideals. You guys may not agree with them and I respect that, but with 44% of likely voters calling themselves conservative it might actually be a good strategy.
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Rog says:
Notice they don’t mention anything about really important stuff, like subvert our entire government i.e., Nixon – Watergate, Reagan – Iran Contra, Bush-Cheney and Scooter Libby.
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Sybil says:
If those 10 principles reflect “conservative ideals”, then clearly there are 44% of likely voters who have no idea what the word conservative actually means. Sad, innit?
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Jimbo says:
The ten principles actually represent one groups concept of conservative ideals. By identifying as conservative in outlook people are in no way identifying with those principles. Look at the rest of that Democracy Corps poll for instance. Although 44% identify as conservative only 43% identify as either weak, strong or independent leaning Republican. Whilst only 22% identify as liberal 50% identify as either weak, strong or independent leaning Democrat. 47% of those polled would vote Obama in a hypothetical Presidential election held tomorrow whilst only 37% would vote for a proposed Mitt Romney GOP candidate. 6% would vote for Lou Dobbs. Finally in a hypothetical Congressional election held tomorrow 47% would vote Democrat and 43% would vote Republican.
http://www.democracycorps.com/wp-content/files/dcor111609fq12.web_.pdf
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potted meat says:
I would bet a silver dollar, that if a 3rd party candidate were to get equal exposure, and was for real aggressive change, that is, not business as usual, in DC, he/she would stand a 50/50 chance of winning…… the problem is
1) the press is bought and makes fun of 3rd party candidates
2) most 3rd party candidates alienate people by one or 2 extreme positions, instead of staying moderate in their liberal desire to restore conservative actions in government.
/chew on that.
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Jed says:
consider it regurgitated.
i simply do not understand this fascination with the possibility of a “moderate” 3rd party. what the hell do you think the two parties we have now are?
compare obama & bush on the economic recovery (hint: they are the same). then tell me what the “moderate” alternative would be.
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potted meat says:
~*~~moderate in their liberal desire to restore conservative actions in government.*~*~
it’s a concept whose time has come, but I’m too busy to elaborate at the moment.
The KEY is to remove any cronyism/favors that the 2 parties are hopelessly entrenched in, thus the need for a new party.
And Term limits is a must.
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treehugger says:
More parties? I vote yes.
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Jimbo says:
There will always be cronyism though. There is just far too much money and power at stake for the system to run transparently.
And I don’t think term limits can ever really work. If being a Senator or Congressman was a time limited job noone would ever be able to amass enough experience to be able to fill the leadership roles and noone would want to do the job anyway because it would be a dead end. If anything term limits would encourage even more rampant cronyism because all politicians would be eyeing their rapidly approaching forced retirement from politics and future career in lobbying.
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potted meat Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
Valid points, so is revolution, a la Tea nuts the way? I don’t think so.
we have the means to overcome the status quo, and your reasoning for no term limits is a viscious circle. catcha 22.
sorry tempus fugit….fudge it.
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Lake Worth Monster Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 11:12 am
But then, cronyism is the lubricant of the political process, a la Max Weber’s informal organization. When it works best, it helps keep the wheels moving and sets up compromises that make consensus possible. However, like transmission fluid, it should be changed when it gets sludgy and starts to gum up the works.
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Lefty says:
Headed home early to work on the Pink Mafia 10 point purity test.
Suggestions please.
Can’t wait to see everyone at the ITPTM Holiday party!
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West Texas Hillbilly Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
(4) We support workers’ right to day-drink by opposing office sobriety check.
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