Pink Robespierre
We were the victims of an audacious and brilliant hacker. And yet, despite his mind-boggling and awesome display of computer programming prowess, the perpetrator of this act is still no closer to ever touching an actual woman’s booby.The hacking of inthepinktexas.com has left Pink Lady furious and for the second time in two months, a massive purge is underway at ITPT World Headquarters. Most of the IT staff, brought on board in the wake of the domain name fiasco, has been sacked. I just said goodbye to Stanley Q. Kuchenbrod, formerly our CTO, as he visited the flamingos in the atrium one last time. He and his staff, escorted by security, sadly wheeled their office supply laden Aeron chairs to the out-processing queue, where they were then loaded onto railroad cars in sub-basement C, destination unknown.
During an obscenity filled, three-hour conference call this morning, Eileen railed against the senior ITPT staff for failing her again. Upon learning of the attack, attended by only her most trusted bodyguards and retainers, Eileen boarded Pink Jet 1 and has since been flying in a holding pattern somewhere over the Atlantic. An agreement with the Portuguese government allows for aerial refueling. She has not set a date for her return to ITPT Tower, though I did notice that both her trapdoor repairman and crocodile/piranha handler just finished some work in her office.
As a punitive measure, free abalone and sea urchin roe is no longer available in the commissaries on levels 26-50. The chef in the executive penthouse kitchen refused to top my Kobe beef burger with foie gras unless I paid him $2. As a result, I’ve had to reduce my major-domo’s salary by 40%.
I can’t help but wonder if Smooch should receive more scrutiny following the attack. This has the feel of one of her crazy machinations to buy herself more time before turning in her Bachelor report. Other deadline extending schemes have included: phoning in a bomb threat, pretending to have amnesia, faking her own death, blaming guileful Canadians for stealing her post, claiming her cats ate her post, claiming her dog ate her post, claiming King Coozie ate her post. In her defense, Smooch’s Bachelor article from two weeks ago was late after she was tricked in an elaborate confidence game by a fast talking, musical flim-flam artist.
JCBT seems to be the only staffer unaffected by The Terror at ITPT International. He continues to haunt the gothic, subterranean sewer labyrinth beneath ITPT Tower, poling his gondola through the gloom, wearing his half mask, and seducing the latest ITPT ingenue by singing ‘Music of the Night’ to her. Masquerade!
I can’t work in these conditions much longer. Resume forthcoming in my next post.
laura says:
i’ll bet the NSA’s blogging division is tapping your phones as we speak, all in the name of “surveillance.”
Pink Lady says:
The first rule of ITPT is, you don’t talk about ITPT. Guess what the second rule is…
Socrature says:
I found the source:
February 7, 2006 7:53 AM
ã Copyright February 7, 2006 by Harvey Kronberg, http://www.quorumreport.com, All rights are reserved
DEUELL CHALLENGER FILES COMPLAINT OVER COMPUTER HACKER
Says one of the hacking computers was traced back to the Capitol
The Republican challenger in the Texas Senate District 2 race is hacked off over someone hacking into his campaign Web site and making some unauthorized changes to it.
While Tim McCallum said he does not know who’s behind the shenanigans, he claimed that one of the computers used for the dirty tricks sits in one of the state’s highest profile buildings.
“We have no idea who is involved, but we have traced one of the computers to inside the Texas State Capitol building in Austin,” McCallum said.
McCallum, a Rockwall city councilman, filed complaints last week with the district attorneys in Rockwall and Travis Counties as well as the Texas Ethics Commission, according to a statement released late Thursday.
In addition to the unauthorized access to his campaign Web site, McCallum alleged that he received several e-mails from someone falsely claiming to be an Austin political watchdog.
No charges have been filed yet in Travis County, according to the district clerk’s office there.
McCallum is challenging state Sen. Bob Deuell (R-Greenville) in the March 7 Republican primary to represent SD 2, which encompasses eight counties and parts of two others east and northeast of Dallas. Deuell, a family physician, was first elected to the Senate in 2002.
ã Copyright February 7, 2006 by Harvey Kronberg, http://www.quorumreport.com, All rights are reserved
sayitdontsprayit says:
Has everyone writing and posting today been smoking the pot? I didn’t get the memo.
NOITALL says:
Can a dirty diaper wipe out an entire worldwide website?
Dont Mess w/ Pink says:
Surely you are not attributing TJ’s imaginative and eloquent satire to drugs.
Dont Mess w/ Pink says:
Love the headline, btw. The Pink Reign of Terror! Behead the royalists!
The Other Guy says:
If there is a pulitzer category for blog writers, TJ should be nominated. If not, just claim one of the awards that Bill O’Reilly says he received.
lurkette says:
I’m still confused as to what this hacker *actually* did?? I mean, I don’t see any porn. PL needs to find herself some cooler enemies, clearly.
hyped on coffee says:
If JCBT is really the only staffer seemingly unaffected by this atrocity – maybe ITPT needs to look for a mole – not just a lurker.
Thanks for the laugh.
Shriz-noat says:
The fiendish mastermind replaced our home page with this message:
[g0d] was here from HackBSD CreW @ undernet EMAIL::::LocoBro@gmail.com :::PS:hi to my friends from rootnet,hackinbox,kernel
Clever.
The Other Guy says:
Yeah, it was obviously Ben Bentzin, and he definitely ain’t cool.
Dont Mess w/ Pink says:
I hope it doesn’t initiate a blog-transmitted disease (BTD).
lurkette says:
that’s it? that’s all they could come up with? what a bunch of amateurs.
JohnCornyn’sBoxTurtle says:
I told PL not to publish those cartoons of Muhammad.
Vince L. says:
Damn…guess I should get around to checking the blogs before noon. Missed the ‘hacking.’
Please tell Pink Lady she can establish a Government in Exile at Capitol Annex, Inc. We have a 14-story office tower situated in the middle of nowhere (but deep in the heart of East Texas) complete with an underground bunker, TWO professional chefs, wet bars and bartenders on every floor, and more than 100 research assistants with nothing whatsoever to do.
Smooch says:
just need more time. gotta have more time. post-analysis of floozies is TOUGH man.
reality based addict says:
i’ve been checking all day for the bachelor synopsis and commentary…grr…
Perrys Mollycoddler says:
At least you weren’t excommunicated to Nuevo Laredo like me. You should try working in a newsroom that gets bombed daily by the warring drug lords. Maybe I’ll have a report soon, but right now I’m going to leave this hellish place and head to the coast for some hot red snapper and cold red stripe.
Socrature says:
#4 Is smoking the pot like catching the herpes?
JohnCornyn’sBoxTurtle says:
Schmokin’ Weed, Schmokin’ Weed, Doin’ Coke, Drinkin’ Beers.
Margaritaville says:
Don’t forget to post your resume…
Pink Lady says:
Next thing you know they’re going to join a union.
JohnCornyn’sBoxTurtle says:
Like we could afford the membership dues.
lurkette says:
This job would be great if it weren’t for the fuckin customers.
King Coozie says:
I only come here to do two things: drink beer and kick some ass. Looks like we’re almost out of beer.
rootnet, hackinbox and kernel says:
We were having a toot of a time using the “leave a comment” boxes…they are so narrow!