Peddling Lance, or Is It Pedaling?

A hot rumor is making the rounds that Alberto Gonzales will resign as attorney general and set off the following game of musical chairs: Gonzales resigns, Bush names John Cornyn as his replacement, Perry names David Dewhurst as Cornyn’s replacement, Jane Nelson is elected lieutenant governor by her peers, Greg Abbott cries himself to sleep, and Todd Staples kicks himself for leaving the Senate to run for agriculture commissioner. I’m making up the Nelson, Abbott, and Staples part, but the rest of the tale is very much in play.

Now some Democrats are putting forth their candidate:

Democrats and Texans are ready for a strong, progressive Senator to fight for true Texas ideals…We want a Senator who will fight for us with courage, strength and conviction…
We want a Senator we can be proud of… We want a Senator who will never back down…
Lance Amstrong is just the man for the job.

Lance Armstrong will dash across the partisan divide to inspire faith, passion and confidence in all Texans.

Lance Armstrong -on and off the trail- has a strong and proven record of pushing forward against all odds.

Lance Armstrong is a history maker who has taken the fight against cancer for the less fortunate.

Lance Armstrong is the kind of leader that Texans want and need.

Lance Armstrong is a fighter who does not know how to quit or fail.

Lance Armstrong: the right man for Texas.

I think the most far-fetched part of this scenario is that Alberto Gonzales will resign; Bush seems determined to go down with every ship in his fleet. But if Gonzales were to step aside, and Bush were to replace him with Cornyn, and Perry were to replace Cornyn with Dewhurst, Perry would have to call a special election to fill Cornyn’s unexpired term. Armstrong would face a difficult decision whether to run in the special election or wait until the 08 general election. He should run in the special because he wouldn’t want to be part of a ticket headed by Hillary Clinton.