The 2003 Bum Steer Awards

It was a year of asinine atheists, buck-naked bad guys, crud-coated coins, duct-taped duds, ex-Enron exhibitionists, felonious Ferraris, gaffe-prone guests, hijacked heads, icky incumbents, jittery java junkies, kaput kampaigns, lascivious lawyers, Munsters maniacs, ninny newlyweds, obdurate officials, pesky perfumes, quickie-minded quadrupeds, risible reading, superannuated sodas, titillating textbooks, un-dry urbanites, vamoosed vaudevillians, wandering weapons, Xena-like Xanthippes, yammering Yankees, and zealous zit-ologists.

The Bull Just Smiled and Declined to Press Charges

Joey Allen Long, of Paris, was charged in Mount Pleasant with the theft of $4,600 worth of bull semen.

We Can Only Imagine What the Words “Bob Torricelli” Did to Him

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