Best Alternative Nickname for The Killer D's
Weapons of Mass Obstruction
Killer D's playing cards
U.S. forces in Iraq used playing cards bearing the likenesses of Saddam Hussein and his henchmen to hunt them down. When the Democrats fled the Capitol to defeat the congressional-redistricting bill, political consultant James Bernsen came up with a similar pack to help Republicans track them down. Some of his best customers turned out to be those same missing Democrats, who proved that a half-full House can be a winning hand.
Best Additions to the Legislative Lexicon
CHEMICAL COUNCIL A group of Republican women lawmakers close to Tom Craddick, so named because all dye their hair.
WD-40'S Middle-aged, white Democratic lawmakers, once the backbone of Texas politics but now an endangered species.
LOBBY CRACK Altoids, which are consumed by lobbyists in great quantities during boring committee meetings to ward off involuntary slumber.
OWNERS' BOX The section of the House gallery where tort-reform advocates, who had made large campaign contributions to Republicans, watched the bill pass.