The Bum Steer Calendar

JANUARY

Anna Nicole Smith

The widow of oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II, tied up in a court battle over Marshall’s $500 million estate and owing an $850,000 judgment in a lawsuit that accused her of sexual harassment, files for bankruptcy.


FEBRUARY

Phil Gramm

On February 8 he campaigns for president, saying, “I think [voters] believe Bob Dole is a good man but he cannot beat Bill Clinton and wouldn’t change America if he got the job.” On February 18 he withdraws and endorses Bob Dole, saying, “I believe that Bob Dole … can make the Republican party again one united party that is committed to beating Bill Clinton and committed to changing America.”


MARCH

John Bryant and Jim Chapman

The veteran congressmen battle each other for the Democratic nomination to the U.S. Senate, only to lose to a political novice, Victor Morales, in the primary election.


APRIL

Baylor University

The school lifts a 150-year ban on dancing and among the partygoers tripping the light fantastic are Baylor president Robert Sloan and his wife.


MAY

Madalyn Murray O’Hair

TV talk show host Phil Donahue issues a nationwide plea for O’Hair, who hasn’t been seen publicly since September 1995, to appear on his final show. She doesn’t respond.


JUNE

Kay Bailey Hutchison

In Washingtonian magazine’s annual survey of Congress, she wins first place in the category of “Best-dressed” and second place in “No Rocket Scientist.”


JULY

Ron Weaver

The Texas Longhorns’ “Roster Imposter,” a thirty-year-old graduate of Sacramento State who played for UT under the name “Ron McKelvey” until he was exposed before the 1995 Sugar Bowl game, receives a probated sentence for misusing a social security number.


AUGUST

Martha Stewart

She is featured in Martha Stewart Living magazine hosting a barbecue in Marfa at which she was wearing jodhpurs and a fashionable hat.


SEPTEMBER

Texas Monthly  Senior editor Gary Cartwright touts Deion Sanders’ family values— “In real life Deion is … the straightest, squarest guy on the Dallas Cowboys roster. He doesn’t drink, smoke, cheat on his wife, or use profanity”—in an article that is published just as Sanders’ wife is filing for divorce.


OCTOBER

The Texas Rangers
After leading the New York Yankees two games to one in the American League Championship Series, the Rangers blow leads in the next three games and fail to reach the World Series.


NOVEMBER

Ross Perot

After gaining his 19 percent of the presidential vote in 1992, he drops off to 8 percent in 1996. His 6 percent of the vote in Texas equals his worst finish in any state.


DECEMBER

J. Crew

The company’s Christmas catalog includes a fourteen-page section called “Amarillo way,” in which models pose in front of a New England– style barn and a backdrop of trees. Amarillo, nay.

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