The Bum Steer Catalog
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“DOUBLE BUBBLE TROUBLE,” by Crooks and Gumm, CD-shaped bubble gum from Zeeb Enterprises in Fort Worth, available at Target and Wal-Mart stores for 99 cents; newest release: “Rebubble Smackentire.”
SKIN PRO-TEC LOTION, offering protection from such afflictions as fire ant bites and the AIDS virus, marketed by acquitted capital murder suspect Cullen Davis and Cullen Davis Enterprises, available from Horizons Marketing (414-375-1140) for $15.95 for an eight-ounce bottle.
THE “D” WORD, a board game designed to provide comic relief to women experiencing the pain of divorce—watch out for the “He tries to explain the lipstick stain” square—developed by Let’s Play Games, Inc., and sold in Dallas stores for $24.95.
STRAIT COUNTRY, a line of beauty products for pets and their owners endorsed by George Strait, including Udder Creme to assist with the chapping, chafing, and softening of udders and such, available through South Texas Pet Products of San Antonio at H.E.B. and Wal-Mart stores.
CANDY BARR LIPSTICK PRINT AND SIGNATURE, a three- by five-inch card kissed and signed by Texas’ legendary strip-tease artist, available from Richard Wilson (301-652-4644) for $20.
GEORGE FOREMAN’S LEAN MEAN FAT REDUCING GRILLING MACHINE, a barbecue grill on a slant to reduce fat and accompanied by a boxing glove oven mitt, offered through Kitchen and Home catalog (800-414-5544) for $79.95.
AIRFLO ADHESIVE NOSE STRIPS, endorsed by Michael Irvin prior to his arrest and trial on drug charges, available at Drug Emporium and Kmart for $4.49 for twenty strips.
SELENA FOREVER, the first in a series of eight commemorative plates, authorized by her father, Abraham Quintanilla, Jr., and available from the Bradford Exchange (800-323-5577) for $29.95.
HAND-LAMINATED REPLICA OF THE WEEPING ICON IN BLANCO, offered by coupon through Val-Pak, an Austin direct-mail marketing company.
THE LOONEY WEST CD, featuring Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Pepe Le Pew, Porky Pig, and the rest of the Looney Toons gang in Western sing-alongs with Roy Rogers, Michael Martin Murphey, Suzy Bogguss, and Jeff Foxworthy, from Warner Western, available at music and Western lifestyle stores for $15.98 CD and $10.98 cassette.