Since July 2007, the Texanist has availed himself and his massive reservoir of pan-topical knowledge to the readers of <em>Texas Monthly.</em> With an inimitable style and an unassailable wholesomeness, he has, by way of his signature Fine Advice, exorcized bedevilment, cured the curious, and oriented the disoriented. In short, he has taught many a well-intentioned Texan how to properly conduct him- or herself. Is it ever okay to ask somebody how many acres he has? Is it acceptable to spit tobacco juice at the office? Can one have too many Texas-themed tattoos? Why is Big Red so good? Who knows? Wait, the Texanist does!