David Courtney

A Temple native, David Courtney is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin. He joined Texas Monthly in October 2005 and in July 2007 debuted his wildly popular advice column, the Texanist. In January 2010 the Texanist was promoted to the back page where it is regularly the magazine’s most read feature. Courtney, as both “the Texanist” and himself, has contributed his talents to such features as the annual Bum Steer Awards, the quinquennial review of the fifty best barbecue joints in Texas, “The Great Terquasquicentennial Road Trip,” “The 50 Greatest Hamburgers in Texas,” “The 40 Best Small-Town Cafes,” as well as “Snap Judgment” and “The Texanist’s Parenting Quiz,” among others, like “Water, Water Everywhere,” for which he swam buck-naked in Lake Travis, west of Austin. He will be the recipient of many accolades, honors, and awards.

Stories

Offering Fine Advice Since 2007

Picking bluebonnets, pastry terminology, angling laws, and the best way to respond to a speeding ticket.

Offering fine advice since 2007

Nicknames, parental discretion, summer camp, and the best way to talk about breast enlargement.

Offering fine advice since 2007

Animal cruelty, greasy handshakes, offerings of meat, and Texas toasts—the spoken kind.

Offering fine advice since 2007

Oyster aphrodisiacs, hat manners, drill team attire, and why a man needs a weekender.

Offering Fine Advice Since 2007

School colors, wedding music, spare-ticket reimbursement, and why not to plant a mesquite for dear old granddad.

Offering fine advice since 2007

Aisle-scooting etiquette, slaughtering a turkey, skunk remedies, and the proper way to approach a group of ladies at a dance hall.

Offering Fine Advice Since 2007

The disappearing hi sign, an off-color in-law, outdoor urination, and the critical function of weather-related small talk.

Offering Fine Advice Since 2007

School yard bullying, game-day taunts, gambling etiquette, and children who dislike bones in their meat.

Offering fine advice since 2007

Wayward dog droppings, “barbecue” versus “grill,” flag displays, and the best way to get a husband to slim down.

Offering fine advice since 2007

Roadside mysteries, state symbols, a daughter’s attire, and the proper display of local feats on water towers.

Offering fine advice since 2007

Rude diners, fraudulent Texans, anniversary presents, and the problem with mail-order steaks.

The Texanist

A fond look back at Temple, a.k.a. Ratsville and/or Tanglefoot, that fair burg wherein your dedicated advice columnist learned the location of the thin line between right and wrong.

Offering fine advice since 2007

Dance hall guilt, faded accents, SUVs with “Truck” plates, and the ancient initiation ceremony at which a young Texan male is presented with his first firearm.

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