(From August 2009) A highly personal question must be asked before you order: Are you a Big Ass or a Half Ass? It’s cool if you’re a Big Ass, but happily, even the eight-ounce Half Ass is plenty. The hand-formed patty of 100 percent ground chuck is accessorized with aged cheddar and three crunchy strips of excellent lean bacon. Chipotle mayo (infinitely superior to plain mayo, IOHO) comes on the side. The one drawback is that the inevitable gusher of meat juices soaks the bottom bun, causing the sandwich to begin falling apart about halfway through the meal. Frankly, the Half Ass doesn’t eat all that well, but, as Mom used to say, everything gets mixed up in your stomach anyway, and would that all catastrophes tasted so fine. (Plus, the dainty eater could always—gasp!—use a fork).
