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PIE AND MIGHTY Just because you’re too busy to bake a holiday pie doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Give yourself a break and order one of these superlative pies by mail. The monster apple pie from Texas Heritage Provisions Company, in the East Texas town of Jasper, stands more than three inches tall and weighs an astonishing five and a half pounds. Sliced thin—the better to absorb more sugar and cinnamon—the apples stay admirably crisp (866-489-9400, thpc.net; $29.99 plus $5-$12 for overnight shipping). It’s no surprise that the fine apple pie from Tootie Pie, in the Central Texas town of Medina, is close in size and shape to the Provisions Company’s creation, because the businesses use nearly identical recipes. The only differences we detected were softer apples and perhaps a bit more cinnamon in the Tootie pie. We suspect the excellent crumbly crusts are made with Crisco, but the piemakers won’t say (830-589-2994, $37.50). For twenty years, Houston-based Goode Company has been shipping pecan pies around the country in attractive wooden boxes branded with the slogan “You might give some serious thought to thanking your lucky stars you’re in Texas.” Syrupy sweet (the way they’re supposed to be), each one weighs three and a half pounds and is generously topped with toasted pecan halves (800-627-3502, goodecompany.com; $35). The luscious pecan pie from Royers Round Top Cafe sports our favorite crust of all—Crisco-based and obviously handmade. Produced in the east Central Texas town of Round Top, it tips the scales at two and three quarters pounds (877-866-7437, royersroundtopcafe.com; $28.95). By the way, all our orders arrived in good shape and on time. Prices include two-day shipping unless otherwise noted.