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Mon February 25, 2013 10:11 pm
WATCH: Texas A&M's Kevin Sumlin, World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion
By Jason Cohen

Have you heard the one about the seven-foot tall wrestler who can't tell a decent Aggie joke?

Sunday, World Wrestling Entertainment came to College Station's Reed Arena, with Kevin Sumlin as the guest of honor. The A&M head football coach was either well-prepped or he really is a fan, judging from the tweet he sent out days before the SmackDown line-up got to town.

Sumlin was feted by current World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio. "Thank you for being such a great coach for this amazing university," the clean-cut Mexican blandly enthused.

"First of all, as a fan, it's a big deal to receive this honorary belt in person from you," Sumlin replied. "It's an even bigger honor to receive this belt in front of the Twelfth Man, THE GREATEST FANS IN THE WORLD! Y'know, sometimes, for us, it's kind of like you--you run into people that just talk too much..."

This, naturally, was Big Show's cue. Cancel that recruiting offer!

"Pardon me for interrupting this incredibly boring ceremony," he bellowed.

(BOO! BOO!)

"We've got an illegitimate champion in Alberto Del Rio passing out symbolic world heavyweight championships to people that don't deserve it."

(BOO! BOO!)

"Just because you're some kind of football coach at a second-rate university..." 

(BOO! YOU SUCK. S-E-C! S-E-C! GET HIM COACH!)

"Most of you people are so stupid you can't even chant 'Big Show Sucks' together. Why don't you have a seat ringside and I'm gonna show you how a true champion, myself, destroys the wannabe champion Alberto Del Rio."

Spoiler Alert: Del Rio and Coach Sumlin would prevail.)

Here's an audience-shot version which includes most of the fun (H/T, Brent Zwerneman of the Chron & Express-News).

And, via the WWE's official channel, a clip with better picture quality but much less action:

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Mon February 25, 2013 3:52 pm
Our Aggie Governor's Prediction for a Democratic-Leaning State...
By Jason Cohen

“The University of Texas will change its colors to maroon and white before Texas goes purple, much less blue."

- Rick Perry, always thinking about college football (just like all of us).

(From the Wall Street Journal. For the back story, read Erica Greider's Thursday column.)

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Thu February 21, 2013 4:44 pm
No Tebow At Texas Church
By Jason Cohen

NFL quarterback Tim Tebow will no longer be appearing at First Baptist Church of Dallas April 28, news that was first released, as in all important matters of religion, sports and politics, via virtual tablet:

As CBSDFW.com reported, First Baptist leader Dr. Robert Jeffres

has claimed that Islam promoted pedophilia, said Judaism “leads people to an eternity of separation from God in hell,” and reportedly reduced Catholics, Hindus, Buddhists and others to members of cults....Jeffress denounced the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” by observing that "it’s a fact that [AIDS is] a gay disease so there’s a reasonable reason to exclude gays from the military.”

"I'm ashamed to like Tim Tebow now," Gregg Doyel of CBS Sports wrote when the appearance was still on, calling Jeffress "an evangelical cretin... who does the work of the Lord sort of like Westboro Baptist in Topeka, Kan., does the work of the Lord.I don't consider Robert Jeffress' theology to be Christianity, a religion built on love."

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Tue February 19, 2013 2:58 pm
San Antonio Chargers?
By Jason Cohen

"San Antonio Chargers" has a nice ring to it, no? The city name is pretty close—you'd only have to change "Diego" to "Antonio" on the jerseys. TXU could be a sponsor. And the team may struggle just enough over the next two years to get a shot at Johnny Football.

As Jonathan Horn of UT-San Diego (that stands for Union Tribune, not the Universty of Texas) reported, Rick Perry's recruiting trip to California included talk about Southern California's only NFL team, which has been trying to get out of Qualcomm Stadium and into a new facility for the past decade.

Chargers owner Dean Spanos was the statewide finance chair in California for Perry's presidential campaign, a relationship that had UT-San Diego commenters floating the idea of the team's city switch back in 2011.

Perry downplayed the possibility of such a move last week, but we're all blogging about it anyway (H/T to Rick Dunham of the Houston Chronicle). Wrote Horn:

"You’d have to ask the Spanos family. Dean is a good friend and I would be lying if I didn’t tell you, come to Texas and we would love to have their athletic club there," Perry said. "But there’s a family whose been there forever. If it gets so difficult for them to be able to operate, that’s always an option, but again you’d have to ask them. I have no indication that the Chargers are going to be coming to Texas anytime soon."

"Athletic club?" Why is Rick Perry talking like William F. Buckley Jr.? 

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Wed February 13, 2013 10:51 am
DeLoss Dodds Reads Texas Monthly, Backs Mack Brown, Picks On Missouri
By Jason Cohen

TM coverKirk Bohls of the Austin American-Statesman sat down with University of Texas athletic director DeLoss Dodds and women's AD Chris Plonsky recently, and the topic of discussion, more or less, was: how does UT get back to the level of the success that got them on the cover of Texas Monthly?

As Bohls wrote, the university has only won three NCAA championships in any sport since Mack Brown and Vince Young brought home the BCS trophy in 2005, even as the athletic department remains one of the few in the country that makes money for its university, instead of being subsidized or running at a loss.

Bohls' eye for detail then leads to this passage:

A glossy Texas Monthly magazine sits on a cluttered coffee table in Plonsky’s office. Staring from the cover of the oft-cited publication, dated November 2008, was a proud Dodds, arms folded and aligned ahead of Plonsky, Darrell Royal, Jody Conradt and four then-current Longhorns head coaches at a time when UT athletics hovered near the apex of collegiate sports.

Dodds leads the most successful program in college sports history, the magazine trumpeted.

“It’s a nice picture,” Plonsky said with a knowing sigh. “We’re still trying to earn that. We’ll keep pounding away.”

Dodds also echoed what I wrote about his thinking on Mack Brown for Texas Monthly and the New York Timesthis past November.

From that story:

Brown is more like Michigan’s Lloyd Carr and Tennessee’s Phillip Fulmer, two title-winning coaches who were muscled out after their "time had come." Both Michigan and Tennessee are on their second hires since then, and Tennessee, which has yet to win a game in the Southeastern Conference this year, may yet need a third.

Closer to home, Brown is also more like R.C. Slocum. The winningest coach in Texas A&M history had a Hall of Fame career, but couldn’t keep up with UT or Oklahoma once the Southwest Conference gave way to the Big 12. Aggieland demanded someone better, but neither Dennis Franchione nor Mike Sherman improved the program.

And from Bohls:

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