January 2006
Table of Contents
Features
The 2006 Bum Steer AwardsIt was a year of appalling Anna Nicole, babbling Bar, conspiring cheerleaders, déclassé DeLay, enraptured Eva, fecal funny business, gubernatorial gaffes, horrifying Hook ’Em, illustrious intoxicators, juggy Jessica, Kinky kocktails, lame lawmakers, misidentified ministers, noticeable nepotism, obnoxious Oberst, powerboating Perot, queer quotes, rude Redskin, stimulated sex offenders, titillating teachers, unwanted urinating, vilified Vancouverites, watered-down Willie, x-asperating Xmas songs, yucky yearbooks, and zinged zip codes. Retail PoliticsAlong a seventeen-mile stretch of Interstate 35 sits a theoretical dividing line between red-state and blue-state America. In Austin, the flagship Whole Foods attracts your typical wine-sipping, tree-hugging, Volvo-driving liberals. In Buda, the massive Cabela’s is a magnet for beer-guzzling, gun-toting, flag-waving conservatives. From these consumer preferences, voting habits are born—but appearances, like tofu dogs and duck decoys, can be deceiving. I Have Finally ArrivedFirst in Kuwait, then Baghdad. Next stop, the desert. |
The Elephants in the RoomRemember what Ronald Reagan said about Republicans not speaking ill of other Republicans? How quaint. Why Can’t Steven Phillips Get a DNA Test?For that matter, why can’t any incarcerated man or woman with a good reason get one? Rocket ManRichard Garriott wants to experience space travel because it would be cool—and because his dad did. |
Columns
Suzy BanksScent and SensibilitySweaty socks, cat urine, dead skunks: Three cheers for having no sense of smell. |
Reporter
ReporterWhose Life Is It Anyway?Katie Wernecke is many things: a precocious, freckle-faced Bible-drill champ; the valedictorian of her seventh-grade class in Banquete; and—since she was diagnosed with cancer last year—a pawn in the custody battle that pits her parents against the State of Texas. |
The Filter
Pat’s PickStephan Pyles |
Pat’s PickGlass Act |
Miscellany
Roar of the CrowdLaw and Disorder |
Texas Monthly TalksLouis Sachar“Any idea you can think up and plan out isn’t going to be that good. There’s no way I could have thought up all of Holes beforehand.” |
Web Exclusives
TLR vs. TMTexans for Lawsuit Reform responds to our November 2005 article; we respond to the organization’s response. More Law, More DisorderRead more letters about the November issue. Seriously, FolksHumorist Rich Malley on being clever, writing headlines, and putting together Bum Steers. Space RaceWriter-at-large Jan Reid on entrepreneur Richard Garriott and commercial space flights. It’s as Easy as DNASenior editor Michael Hall talks about researching DNA testing, visiting a DNA lab in North Texas, and pursuing justice. |
Putting Together the PiecesAssociate art director T. J. Tucker on co-designing this year’s Bum Steer Awards. Family MattersAssociate editor Katy Vine on writing about the Wernecke family’s struggles in court and their daughter’s fight against Hodgkin’s disease. Texas TidbitsThe flagship Whole Foods store in Austin is very different from the new Cabela’s in Buda. They don’t sell the same merchandise, and they don’t target the same customers. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do some comparison shopping. Happy TrailsEven though my mom never allowed us to eat at restaurants attached to gas stations, I figured she might make an exception for George W.’s hangout in Crawford. Texas History 101The Mier expedition was the most ill-fated of the raiding expeditions from Texas into Mexico. |
Recipes
Beer-Batter Shrimp with Cayenne RemouladeFrom Stephan Pyles Restaurant in Dallas. |
