Bum Steer Awards Since 1974
February 1974
Texas Monthly Annual Bum Steer Awards
We give appropriate recognition to all the people and events that have put us in the state we’re in.
February 1975
1975 Bum Steer Awards
Last year’s disreputable moments, lowest jinks, outrageous events, and preposterous personalities.
February 1976
1976 Bum Steer Awards
We spotlight the follies and foibles of our state that will go down in history—way down.
February 1977
1977 Bum Steer Awards
All this, and the legislature wasn’t even in session.
January 1978
1978 Bum Steer Awards
Last year’s biggest bloopers, bleepers, blunders, bungles, boo-boos, bad breaks, bobbles, bevues, balks, and Briscoeisms.
January 1979
1979 Bum Steer Awards
A shameless selection of shams, shenanigans, subterfuges, spoofs, smokescreens, and saltimbancos Texans suffered through in ‘78.
January 1980
1980 Bum Steer Awards
A look at a longish list of last year’s lamentable lunacies, lawless louts, licentious larcenies, and laughable lies.
January 1981
Bum Steer Awards 1981
An ample account of the absurdities, affronts, asininities, atrocities, abominations, and anacoluthons that assaulted Texans in 1980.
January 1982
Bum Steer Awards 1982
In which we salute the folks who made Texas the bizarre, flagrant, preposterous, funny, and endearing place it was last year.
January 1983
Bum Steer Awards 1983
Presenting blazing barbecue, bumbling Bush, blaspheming Baptists, and 118 more of the best of the worst of Texas.
January 1984
1984 Bum Steer Awards
Presenting Carolyn Farb, worthy successor to Dolph Briscoe, Farrah Fawcett, J.R. Ewing, Mike Martin, and Jackie Sherrill as Bum Steer of the Year — and 107 other fascinating foibles.
January 1985
1985 Bum Steer Awards
A year of arousing art, bumbling Bush, coerced canines, deranged Dallas, eureka! Eureste, freeway fantasy, groping Germans, hurtling helicopters, idiotic Irving, and jocose jelly beans.
January 1986
1986 Bum Steer Awards
A year of altered antlers, bunkum bars, cloddish coaches, defoliant diets, enervated elephants, filched flamingos, gunshot guitarists, haywire holidays, intoxicants’ incentives, jejune judges, kissing K-9’s, lousy lobster, and misdirected Michener.
January 1987
1987 Bum Steer Awards
A year of anguished Arabs, bigshot bankrupts, crazy cookbooks, despoiled dinosaurs, exhibitionist editors, foiled fugitives, greens-eating graduates, half-cocked hashish, in flagrante inmates, jolly jailers, kinky kilocycles, late lobsters, moistened mayors, and northbound Nicaraguans.
January 1988
1988 Bum Steer Awards
A year of clumsy Clements, stupid stickups, ripped-off Rangers, cockeyed cops, agitated alligators, rotund roaches, jumpy judges, nitwit newsmen, addled Aggies, naughty newlyweds, randy retirees, and a pestered pontiff.
January 1989
1989 Bum Steer Awards!
A year of avaricious Arabs, belligerent bovines, convincing Connallys, dubious degrees, elusive Elvises, furious firefighters, George’s goofs, hassled Hunts, ingenious inmates, jilted judges, knotorious Kneppers, loose locomotives, migrant moose, normative nerds, overcautious orchestras, preposterous pythons, qualmish queens, rampant roaches, Sue Ellen’s swimsuits, targeted transvestites, upset umps, vetoed Virgins, wanton Willies, x-tremist x-chairmen, yammering Yankees, and zapped zygomatics.
January 1990
1990 Bum Steer Awards
A year of antagonistic attorneys, beleaguered Bushes, costumed cacti, dead dogs, espied Elvises, falling Fledermäuse, garbled grapes, hemline histrionics, imprudent impeachings, journalistic judges, kinky kindling, legislative largess, mock McMurtrys, novelist’s nooks, overrated Odessas, phantom pharaohs, qualified quail, Ruby’s revolvers, spurious spies, tardy transcribers, U-charistic U-thanasians, vandalized vans, weird wieners, X-onerated X-ecutives, yapping Yankees, and zippered zoos.
January 1991
1991 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of absent anchors, Bush broccoliphobia, contraband clocks, dastardly Dakotas, egad! elections, foolhardy fig leaves, goveror’s grackles, Hussein harmonizing, incoherent Incaviglia, jury junkets, KO kisses, licentious license plates, misunderstood mummies, naughty notebooks, oil-spill oratory, pretentious pyres, quintessential quadraceps, reverential Republicans, Superman Sakowitz, telephone telepathy, unwise uppercuts, viper volunteers, wildcatting whoopers, x-pired x-Aggies, yucky yards, zealous Zerubbabel.
January 1992
1992 Bum Steer Awards
A year of alternative armadillos, bogus bills, contraband condoms, defecting drivers, eventful endorsements, futile floss, gorgeous golfers, humongous hair, imploding implants, jet joyrides, Kansas City klunkers, licentious libraries, mayoral Mafiosi, N-vaded N-dians, outlaw odors, phighting physicists, queasy quesadillas, royal relatives, shunned Schwarzkopf, tainted teachers, underworld underwear, verbose vasectomies, welfare Willies, X-onerated X-posers, yeggs’ yogi, and zealous Zero Population Growth.
January 1993
1993 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of absent Alamos, buried Barbies, castrated calves, derriere drawings, errant escalators, filching frats, grid-iron graduates, hightailing hoopsters, income-tax immigrants, jailed joggers, Keating kudos, lascivious linksters, mercenary morticians, nonoffensive nachos, overdrawn officials, Perot pumpkins, querulous quackers, relaxed Rangers, safe-sex students, testosterone teeth, undersea upraisings, visionary vacuumers, wounded whinniers, X-iled X-pectorators, yielding York, and zealous zoners.
January 1994
1994 Bum Steer Awards
A year of Arlington appellations, bedouined Bush candied coiffures, detestible dinosaurs, effervescent executioners, fancy fertilizer, greedy Gorbachev, holy Halloweens, ignorant ichthyofauna, Japanese jokes, klipped klingons, lottery lovebirds, medical margaritas, nude nuptials, overwhelmed ostriches, pugilistic pitchers quashed quarterbacks, royal redialings, satanic Santas, titillating typos, UFO urgings, vindictive Vermonters, wanted: wives, X-citable X-orcists, yawing Yorkshires, and zapped Zaffirini.
January 1995
1995 Bum Steer Awards
A year of amorous angels, bra buzzers, camouflaged Claytie, denied Davidians, escaped evangelists, faulty flags, gainful gangs, hefty hypnosis, inmate inedibles, jumbo jock-straps, kaput killdeers, lunching Lassie, mercurial mushrooms, nabbed ninjas, overhyped O.J., pumpkin purloiners, questionable quizzes, rap ruffians, sexy sprinters, tacky taxis, unappreciated universities, videotaped villains, wayward Willie, X-posing X-ministers, yammering Yankees, and zero slippers.
January, 1996
1996 Bum Steer Awards
A year of Anna’s antics, biker Barbara, capsized chiles, Davidians defined, expensive electricity, futile freebies, Gramm gossip, helpful hurricanes, insect ingestion, jousting jurors, king-size kindergartens, lottery litigation, Microsoft misprints, naughty nonagenarians, ostracized Oilers, punching princes, questionable quenching, romantic rhinos, sanctified shooters, topless trading, unfriendly unionists, vetoed vagrants, weird wine, X-posed X-presidents, yaklike yearnings, and zilched zoos.
January, 1997
1997 Bum Steer Awards
A year of absent atheists, barbecue bias, College Station Cinderellas, devilish Disney, exiting egrets, far-out fingernails, goatsucker galas, hysterical historians, indoctrinated inmates, junkie joinings, kosher konfusion, loaded lawyers, murderous martinis, naughty Nolan, outvoted orbiters, porcine psychics, quaff quarrels, rapture rifts, senile senators, tackling tarantulas, unconstitutional urine, variable vegetarians, Web site warnings, x-pired x-cursionists, yoicks! YA-HOO!, and zany zoning.
January, 1998
1998 Bum Steer Awards
A year of altered antlers, bawdy broadcasters, comedian corrections, dining detectives, emancipated emus, fossilized felines, gullible Gore, hemline harassment, insatiable igniters, jazzed-up jewelry, Kay’s kennelwear, lottery loonies, metric madness, numerous nudes, 007 oenophiles, poultry protesters, questionable quizzes, revengeful revenuers, Spam slingers, tie tirades, unallowed uniforms, variant videotapers, warning! water, x-humed x-mascots, yanked Yvonne, and zodiac zombies.
January, 1999
1999 Bum Steer Awards
A year of asking-for-it Aggies, badass broccoli, contraband coffee, Death Row decor, extrapolating elephants, faux feet, god-awful gimmickry, humongous heavyweights, incomparable ironers, judicial jimjams, kaput kowtowers, lame-brained liberals, moping millionaires, NASA ninnies, off-putting officials, prize-winning pignappers, quasi-comic quipsters, red-handed rapscallions, scarfable sod, theoretical thongs, ungodly ungulates, vomiting vegetation, wild-eyed window-breakers, xenophobic Xanthippes, Yankee yahoos, and zapped zealots.
January, 2000
2000 Bum Steer Awards
A year of asinine actresses, bare-bottomed bongos, curious car washes, dunderheaded deejays, elongated enchiladas, furious filmgoers, Gore goofs, huge hydrants, ice in demand, jettisoned Jagger, kooky Kansans, lecherous legislators, misinformed McDonald’s, newsmaker nuts, odorous ocelots, promiscuous passengers, questionable quizzes, ridiculous recipes, speedy sports-team owners, traveling toilets, ubiquitous underwear, vapid vegetarians, wrong W-2s, x-ported x-ecutioners, Y2K y’all, and zaftig Zellweger.
January, 2001
2001 Bum Steer Awards
A year of alarming art, befuddled bus drivers, crustacean confiscators, demanding donors, entomological eats, feckless felons, garbled George W., hideous headgear, inspirational ice cream, juiced journalists, KKK kiss-offs, Lubbock lampooners, mucho manure, nada nudity, oafish officials, P.O.’d policemen, quirky queens, raunchy Republicans, shapely sideburns, thanatological toys, used uniforms, vampire vanquishers, witless waiters, x-pert x-terminators, yeoman Yankees, and zany zealots.
January, 2002
Bum Steer Awards 2002
A year of avaricious Aggies, banned boogers, chagrined cheerleaders, dotty dwellings, expletive-deleted Enron, famous fugitives, Germanic goofs, horny highways, icky insects, judicial jests, kooky kidnappers, look-alike logos, misguided Mavericks, news-making nuts, ousted Osamas, problematic pachyderms, quirky quarterbacks, rampaging rats, scary skunks, tetrahydrocannibinol-filled tacos, unhealthy urbanites, volleyball vamps, wayward W’s, x-rated x-hibitionists, young yahoos, and zany Zeta-Jones.
January, 2003
2003 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of asinine atheists, buck-naked bad guys, crud-coated coins, duct-taped duds, ex-Enron exhibitionists, felonious Ferraris, gaffe-prone guests, hijacked heads, icky incumbents, jittery java junkies, kaput kampaigns, lascivious lawyers, Munsters maniacs, ninny newlyweds, obdurate officials, pesky perfumes, quickie-minded quadrupeds, risible reading, superannuated sodas, titillating textbooks, un-dry urbanites, vamoosed vaudevillians, wandering weapons, Xena-like Xanthippes, yammering Yankees, and zealous zit-ologists.
January, 2004
2004 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of altitude-adjusting actors, bird-flipping benevolences, chili charlatans, dastardly deejays, embattled educators, flying freighty-cats, gubernatorial gallivantings, hip-hop hostilities, insatiable Isoptera, Judaically jolting jamborees, Kloroxed Kings, loblolly Leatherfaces, methodological manure-men, neuterings non grata, olé-less objets d’art, piscatorial policemen, queso quarrels, rear-end rectifyings, showboating second bananas, trio-trashing tractors, unamused über-actresses, vituperative vixens, wool-pulled-over Wal-Marts, x-coriated x-millionaires, “Yeehad” yuks, and zinged Ziggyburgers.
January, 2005
2005 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of: Alamo amour, bollixed Bush, cheeseburger chagrin, dissed Davy, egregious ethics, film flops, guileful gynecologists, hibiscus hullabaloo, in-flight idiocy, jiggling Janet, konservative kross-dressers, laughable liposuction, microphone mishaps, numskull name-nabbing, opinionated obits, pot parfaits, Qaeda qualms, reckless Rather, streaking solons, tasteless Tecate, UT users, vulgar veeps, Wicca watchdogs, X-pensive X-crement, yoga yoke, and—zounds!—zero tolerance.
January, 2006
2006 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of appalling Anna Nicole, babbling Bar, conspiring cheerleaders, déclassé DeLay, enraptured Eva, fecal funny business, gubernatorial gaffes, horrifying Hook ’Em, illustrious intoxicators, juggy Jessica, Kinky kocktails, lame lawmakers, misidentified ministers, noticeable nepotism, obnoxious Oberst, powerboating Perot, queer quotes, rude Redskin, stimulated sex offenders, titillating teachers, unwanted urinating, vilified Vancouverites, watered-down Willie, x-asperating Xmas songs, yucky yearbooks, and zinged zip codes.
January, 2007
2007 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of aggrieved actors, banned boobs, Cuban commodes, DeLay denial, errant Elmo, frisky floaters, grouchy governors, hung hoopsters, immigration insensitivity, job-seeking judges, klobbered Karl, Longhorn lushes, miffed musicians, nude no-no’s, ousted Osteens, peeved passers, quarreling queens, riled Rangers, subpar sheriffs, tiny “terrorists,” unseemly URLs, vice presidential violence, wiseacre W., x-asperated x-wives, youthful yakkers, and zoo zeal.
January, 2008
2008 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of angry Aggies, Baptist bravado, confused Cheney, death row drollery, enemas in evidence, fetid feet, ghetto gobbledygook, helicopter hunts, insurance idiocy, jerk judges, kin kidnappers, lawbreaking Longhorns, meshuggener misfires, NASA nimrods, Oswald online, pooped-on presidents, quick quarrels, requested roaches, scrotum-scarring Sooners, taped teenagers, unhinged urinators, visible Virgins, weaselly Whole Foods, X-rated x-classmates, yuletide yikes, and zeroed-out zebras.
January, 2009
2009 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of abbreviated Aggies, bamboozling boxers, charged Cuban, dumb district attorneys, estrogen-packed elevators, famished firemen, graveyard ganja, half-wit husbands, imaginary illegal immigrants, Jessica jests, koncert kayos, lawn-watering Lance, muddled Moron, next-of-kin-offending newspapers, oblivious operators, pornographic prom dresses, questionable quiz takers, repulsive Roger, stolen shih tzus, tasteless team spirit, useless urine, victimized valedictorians, waning W., x-traneous Xmas trees, yelping Yahoo, and zany zoophiles.
January, 2010
The 2010 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of accomplice apes, bedraggled Bugattis, Christlike Cheetos, dim-witted deli-owning Democrats, egregious errata, fatal foreplay, gun-toting golfers, heartless high school hoopsters, ignoble implants, jackass judges, killer Kims, laughingstock legislators, miniature museum mummies, nincompoop ne’er-do-wells, overwhelming odors, pandering Perry, quazy Quaids, reassuring Riddle, shameless Stanford, territorial T. Boone, useful urine, vituperative vixens, weaponized waitresses, x-alted XXX clubs, yolky yahoos, and zero-tolerance zealots.
January, 2011
The 2011 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of appalling analogies, bare-naked Badu, collapsing Cowboys, dim-witted Daughters of the Republic of Texas, egregious Ethics Commission, felonious fishermen (not to mention frisky firefighters), G-rated (not) guards, hilarious headlines, imperial incumbents, jackass judges (as always!), klutzy kat rescuers, legendarily lame and losing Longhorns, mind-boggling menus, noncompliant Nugent, outré overtimers, pajama-clad politicians, queso quarrels, rude representatives, scuffling strippers, toilet paper–free Texas A&M, unacceptable uniformed urination, vent-escaping vipers, woefully wrongheaded wide receivers, X-asperated Xanax-heads, yuk-yuk yeggs, and zealous Z-cups.
January, 2012
The 2012 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of avaricious Astros fans, brainless bank robbers, competence-free comptrollers, discourteous doctors, enraged exes, frisky Frisco-ites, greedy gram-toting grandmothers, hotheaded hand surgeons, ill-informed idiots, jammed-full Jaguars, knife-krazy Kimbroughs, lambasted Lufkinites, mean-spirited magazine articles, nervy narcotics users, obtuse O’Neals, profane pilots, quazy Quaids, romantically rejected receivers, surveilling Scientologists, tumescent team mascots, unprivate urinators, value-subtracted vouchers, wind-challenged windows, x-foliated x-hibitionists, yobbish YouTubers, and zealous Zanes.
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