Some TEXAS MONTHLY Stories on Humor
Madame Secretary, I Presume? »
by Eileen Smith [November 2008]
The 2008 Bum Steer Awards »
It was a year of angry Aggies, Baptist bravado, confused Cheney, death row drollery, enemas in evidence, fetid feet, ghetto gobbledygook, helicopter hunts, insurance idiocy, jerk judges, kin kidnappers, lawbreaking Longhorns, meshuggener misfires, NASA nimrods, Oswald online, pooped-on presidents, quick quarrels, requested roaches, scrotum-scarring Sooners, taped teenagers, unhinged urinators, visible Virgins, weaselly Whole Foods, X-rated x-classmates, yuletide yikes, and zeroed-out zebras.
[January 2008]
The 2007 Bum Steer Awards »
It was a year of aggrieved actors, banned boobs, Cuban commodes, DeLay denial, errant Elmo, frisky floaters, grouchy governors, hung hoopsters, immigration insensitivity, job-seeking judges, klobbered Karl, Longhorn lushes, miffed musicians, nude no-no’s, ousted Osteens, peeved passers, quarreling queens, riled Rangers, subpar sheriffs, tiny “terrorists,” unseemly URLs, vice presidential violence, wiseacre W., x-asperated x-wives, youthful yakkers, and zoo zeal.
[January 2007]
Ron White Gets the Last Laugh »
Thanks to the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, he’s richer than all get-out, and you’re not.
by John Spong [December 2006]
The 2006 Bum Steer Awards »
[January 2006]
Bum Steer Hall of Fame »
In celebration of their lifetime achievements—or lack thereof—we hereby introduce, with great pleasure and big laughs, the first-ever inductees to the brand-new Bum Steer Hall of Fame.
[January 2006]
The Best Bum Steers. Ever. »
We published the first Bum Steer Awards in January 1974, and we haven’t missed a year since. We pored over all 32 installments—and more than 2,500 items—to come up with… the BEST BUM STEERS. EVER.
[January 2006]
Seriously, Folks »
Humorist Rich Malley on being clever, writing headlines, and putting together Bum Steers.
Interview by Leah Fillion [January 2006]
Putting Together the Pieces »
Associate art director T. J. Tucker on co-designing this year’s Bum Steer Awards.
Interview by Lindsay Meeks [January 2006]
The 2006 Bum Steer Awards »
It was a year of appalling Anna Nicole, babbling Bar, conspiring cheerleaders, déclassé DeLay, enraptured Eva, fecal funny business, gubernatorial gaffes, horrifying Hook ’Em, illustrious intoxicators, juggy Jessica, Kinky kocktails, lame lawmakers, misidentified ministers, noticeable nepotism, obnoxious Oberst, powerboating Perot, queer quotes, rude Redskin, stimulated sex offenders, titillating teachers, unwanted urinating, vilified Vancouverites, watered-down Willie, x-asperating Xmas songs, yucky yearbooks, and zinged zip codes.
[January 2006]
Music to My Years »
When did I stop being cool?
by Sarah Bird [June 2005]
Critters And Fritters »
You’d love my collection of vintage Texas cookbooks. Just don’t ask me to cook from them.
by Anne Dingus [June 2005]
Sibling Ribaldry »
Developing my twisted sense of humor was a family affair.
by Sarah Bird [April 2005]
“Confessions of a Skinny Bitch” »
Over the past thirty years, I’ve edited or written more than 28,000 restaurant reviews for this magazine. That’s a lot of crème brûlée under the bridge, folks. So what’s my life been like, exactly? And how have I stayed this thin? Good questions.
by Patricia Sharpe [March 2005]
Message In a Bottle »
Blondness—natural or otherwise— is even more Texan than Big Hair.
by Anne Dingus [February 2005]
Happily Enron After! »
The fairy tale is long over, but reality hasn’t necessarily set in.
by Mimi Swartz [February 2005]
The 2005 Bum Steer Awards »
[January 2005]
Dome Improvement »
How I’ll change life at the Capitol as governor. (Hint: Spaying is involved.)
by Kinky Friedman [January 2005]
Rounding Up the Steers »
Senior editor Anne Dingus on the Bum Steers traditions and mocking those other Simpsons.
Interview by Kimberly Jeffries [January 2005]
The Funnies »
Illustrator Tim Bower, who worked on this month’s cover story, talks about drawing, humor, and his favorite Bum Steer.
Interview by Kimberly Jeffries [January 2005]
The 2005 Bum Steer Awards »
It was a year of: Alamo amour, bollixed Bush, cheeseburger chagrin, dissed Davy, egregious ethics, film flops, guileful gynecologists, hibiscus hullabaloo, in-flight idiocy, jiggling Janet, konservative kross-dressers, laughable liposuction, microphone mishaps, numskull name-nabbing, opinionated obits, pot parfaits, Qaeda qualms, reckless Rather, streaking solons, tasteless Tecate, UT users, vulgar veeps, Wicca watchdogs, X-pensive X-crement, yoga yoke, and—zounds!—zero tolerance.
[January 2005]
L. on Wheels »
Eight days in a rental car with Larry L. King, the crotchety West Texan who has written some of the greatest magazine stories of all time, would be enough to drive anyone crazy. Except his biggest fan.
by John Spong [January 2005]
The Bottom 10 »
For connoisseurs of Bum Steer-worthy behavior, 2004 was an embarrassment of riches. Well, an embarrassment, anyway.
[January 2005]
Keep Gomorrah Weird »
A passionate, pointed, and in retrospect, pot-induced defense of Austin.
by Kinky Friedman [December 2004]
Mentionables »
From bullet bras to panties emblazoned with the Lone Star flag, a brief history of women’s underwear in Texas.
by Anne Dingus [November 2004]
Zero to Sixty »
A dreaded milestone approaches.
by Kinky Friedman [November 2004]
Drawing on Politics »
Illustrator Steve Brodner discusses political satire and his new book, Freedom Fries.
Interview by Kimberly Jeffries [November 2004]
The Wedding Partyer »
Do I, Kinky Friedman, take tequila-loving country singer
Pat Green to be my friend for life? I do.
by Kinky Friedman [August 2004]
Arrivederci, Melanoma »
I never thought about saving my skin, until things got as
serious as cancer.
by Kinky Friedman [July 2004]
The 2004 Bum Steer Awards »
It was a year of altitude-adjusting actors, bird-flipping benevolences, chili charlatans, dastardly deejays, embattled educators, flying freighty-cats, gubernatorial gallivantings, hip-hop hostilities, insatiable Isoptera, Judaically jolting jamborees, Kloroxed Kings, loblolly Leatherfaces, methodological manure-men, neuterings non grata, olé-less objets d'art, piscatorial policemen, queso quarrels, rear-end rectifyings, showboating second bananas, trio-trashing tractors, unamused über-actresses, vituperative vixens, wool-pulled-over Wal-Marts, x-coriated x-millionaires, "Yeehad" yuks, and zinged Ziggyburgers.
[January 2004]
What Kind of Year Was 2003? »
[January 2004]
The Funnies »
Senior executive editor Paul Burka and senior editor Anne Dingus discuss this year’s Bum Steer Awards.
by [January 2004]
Bum Gifts »
Twenty titter-producing trinkets and toys, from a Leatherface action figure and a Houston Texans Christmas Village to a Texas Shriner doll and a snap-on longneck top for boring ol' cans.
by [January 2004]
The 2003 Bum Steer Awards »
It was a year of asinine atheists, buck-naked bad guys, crud-coated coins, duct-taped duds, ex-Enron exhibitionists, felonious Ferraris, gaffe-prone guests, hijacked heads, icky incumbents, jittery java junkies, kaput kampaigns, lascivious lawyers, Munsters maniacs, ninny newlyweds, obdurate officials, pesky perfumes, quickie-minded quadrupeds, risible reading, superannuated sodas, titillating textbooks, un-dry urbanites, vamoosed vaudevillians, wandering weapons, Xena-like Xanthippes, yammering Yankees, and zealous zit-ologists.
[January 2003]
Dependable, Lendable, Undefendable, Vendable! »
[January 2003]
Dick Armey: Armey Maneuvers »
[January 2003]
The 2003 Bum Steer Awards »
It was a year of asinine atheists, buck-naked bad guys, crud-coated coins, duct-taped duds, ex-Enron exhibitionists, felonious Ferraris, gaffe-prone guests, hijacked heads, icky incumbents, jittery java junkies, kaput kampaigns, lascivious lawyers, Munsters maniacs, ninny newlyweds, obdurate officials, pesky perfumes, quickie-minded quadrupeds, risible reading, superannuated sodas, titillating textbooks, un-dry urbanites, vamoosed vaudevillians, wandering weapons, Xena-like Xanthippes, yammering Yankees, and zealous zit-ologists.
[January 2003]
Steering the Bum Steers »
Senior editor Anne Dingus, who along with Paul Burka, organizes and supervises the annual Bum Steer Awards, gives insight on the history of the long-standing tradition.
Interview by Stephanie Myers [January 2003]
Bum Steer Banter »
Paul Burka, senior executive editor and resident Bum Steer co-captain answers a few revealing questions.
Interview by Shannon Powers [January 2003]
It Came A-Pun a Midnight Clear »
Before you start wrapping presents, here's a gift from us to you: a Texas-holiday-themed crossword puzzle. Sharpen your pencil and get a clue.
by Anne Dingus [December 2002]
Keystone Krooks »
The robber who fled to a police station and other criminally stupid stories from our Bum Steer archives.
Compiled by Brandi Dean [July 2002]
The Bad Old Days »
The 1800's had its share of criminal activity.
by Anne Dingus [July 2002]
Kid Gloves »
Growing up in Wichita Falls, I was a skinny kid with buckteeth and a girl's name, so I got into my share of fights. To improve my odd's of winning-and turn my anger and fear into bravery and skill-I learned to box.
by Jan Reid [March 2002]
Deep Thoughts About Me »
Am I a real person? (Yes.) Who died and made me king? (My father, the emperor.) Have I seen your piggy bank? (Yes, a little while ago. He was running away from home.) Any other questions?
by Jack Handey [January 2002]
Punchline Willie »
We knew he could sing, of course. What we didn't know was that he had such a great sense of humor. Here are some of Willie Nelson's favorite jokes from his just-published memoir, The Facts of Life and Other Dirty Jokes.
[January 2002]
Grand Royal »
Director Wes Anderson's new movie, The Royal Tenenbaums, deals with death, despair, and other dark subjects. And—what do you know—it's hysterically funny.
by Pamela Colloff [January 2002]
Yee-ha! »
From cornball classics to rousing rib-ticklers, these
two hundred Texas jokes are definitely on us.
Compiled by Anne Dingus [January 2002]
Bum Steer Awards 2002 »
A year of avaricious Aggies, banned boogers, chagrined cheerleaders, dotty dwellings, expletive-deleted Enron, famous fugitives, Germanic goofs, horny highways, icky insects, judicial jests, kooky kidnappers, look-alike logos, misguided Mavericks, news-making nuts, ousted Osamas, problematic pachyderms, quirky quarterbacks, rampaging rats, scary skunks, tetrahydrocannibinol-filled tacos, unhealthy urbanites, volleyball vamps, wayward W's, x-rated x-hibitionists, young yahoos, and zany Zeta-Jones.
[January 2002]
The 2000 Bum Steer Awards »
A year of asinine actresses, bare-bottomed bongos, curious car washes, dunderheaded deejays, elongated enchiladas, furious filmgoers, Gore goofs, huge hydrants, ice in demand, jettisoned Jagger, kooky Kansans, lecherous legislators, misinformed McDonald's, newsmaker nuts, odorous ocelots, promiscuous passengers, questionable quizzes, ridiculous recipes, speedy sports-team owners, traveling toilets, ubiquitous underwear, vapid vegetarians, wrong W-2s, x-ported x-ecutioners, Y2K y'all, and zaftig Zellweger.
[January 2000]
1999 Bum Steer Awards »
A year of asking-for-it Aggies, badass broccoli, contraband coffee, Death Row decor, extrapolating elephants, faux feet, god-awful gimmickry, humongous heavyweights, incomparable ironers, judicial jimjams, kaput kowtowers, lame-brained liberals, moping millionaires, NASA ninnies, off-putting officials, prize-winning pignappers, quasi-comic quipsters, red-handed rapscallions, scarfable sod, theoretical thongs, ungodly ungulates, vomiting vegetation, wild-eyed window-breakers, xenophobic Xanthippes, Yankee yahoos, and zapped zealots.
[January 1999]
45 Years (Sat Nov 22 at 5:28 PM)
Can You Spare Some Change I Can Believe In? (Sat Nov 22 at 4:10 PM)
Even Worse, They're Cutting Back on Monocles (Fri Nov 21 at 8:39 AM)
