Humor
157 stories
The 2012 Bum Steer Awards on Steroids »
Sometimes you just have to see it (and hear it) to believe it.
January 2012
The 2012 Bum Steer Awards »
It was a year of avaricious Astros fans, brainless bank robbers, competence-free comptrollers, discourteous doctors, enraged exes, frisky Frisco-ites, greedy gram-toting grandmothers, hotheaded hand surgeons, ill-informed idiots, jammed-full Jaguars, knife-krazy Kimbroughs, lambasted Lufkinites, mean-spirited magazine articles, nervy narcotics users, obtuse O’Neals, profane pilots, quazy Quaids, romantically rejected receivers, surveilling Scientologists, tumescent team mascots, unprivate urinators, value-subtracted vouchers, wind-challenged windows, x-foliated x-hibitionists, yobbish YouTubers, and zealous Zanes.
January 2012
Offering Fine Advice Since 2007 »
Watching the Super Bowl on the sly, meeting the Hill Country neighbors, sharing a bed with man and dog, and smoking grapevine.
January 2012 by David Courtney
Offering Fine Advice Since 2007 »
Taxidermy and relationships, school colors abroad, and the proper terminology for a small piece of property.
September 2011
Offering Fine Advice Since 2007 »
Expensive quinceañeras, dangerous toys, lawn-watering etiquette, and seasonal restrictions on chili consumption.
August 2011
My E-piphany »
If Tahitian sailors could find Hawaii using only their testicles, I ought to be able to survive the modern world without a computer. But, hell, it looks like I can't.
April 2011 by Kinky Friedman
Offering fine advice since 2007 »
Nicknames, parental discretion, summer camp, and the best way to talk about breast enlargement.
April 2011 by David Courtney
Offering fine advice since 2007 »
Oyster aphrodisiacs, hat manners, drill team attire, and why a man needs a weekender.
February 2011 by David Courtney
The Texanist: Audio
Our advice columnist speaks.
February 2011
The 2011 Bum Steer Awards »
It was a year of appalling analogies, bare-naked Badu, collapsing Cowboys, dim-witted Daughters of the Republic of Texas, egregious Ethics Commission, felonious fishermen (not to mention frisky firefighters), G-rated (not) guards, hilarious headlines, imperial incumbents, jackass judges (as always!), klutzy kat rescuers, legendarily lame and losing Longhorns, mind-boggling menus, noncompliant Nugent, outré overtimers, pajama-clad politicians, queso quarrels, rude representatives, scuffling strippers, toilet paper–free Texas A&M, unacceptable uniformed urination, vent-escaping vipers, woefully wrongheaded wide receivers, X-asperated Xanax-heads, yuk-yuk yeggs, and zealous Z-cups.
January 2011
Offering Fine Advice Since 2007 »
School colors, wedding music, spare-ticket reimbursement, and why not to plant a mesquite for dear old granddad.
January 2011 by David Courtney
Offering fine advice since 2007 »
Aisle-scooting etiquette, slaughtering a turkey, skunk remedies, and the proper way to approach a group of ladies at a dance hall.
December 2010 by David Courtney
Offering fine advice since 2007 »
Wayward dog droppings, “barbecue” versus “grill,” flag displays, and the best way to get a husband to slim down.
September 2010 by David Courtney
Gov Hunt »
As the only man ever to run against both Bill White and Rick Perry, I have a few thoughts on how either one of these fine, upstanding, admirable men could beat the tar out of the other.
August 2010 by Kinky Friedman
Short Cuts: Episode VI
The governor’s race in under three minutes, featuring profiteering, shady land deals, stormtroopers, treehuggers, and the president.
August 2010
Offering fine advice since 2007 »
Rude diners, fraudulent Texans, anniversary presents, and the problem with mail-order steaks.
July 2010 by David Courtney
The Texanist »
A fond look back at Temple, a.k.a. Ratsville and/or Tanglefoot, that fair burg wherein your dedicated advice columnist learned the location of the thin line between right and wrong.
June 2010 by David Courtney
The Texanist »
Ranch dreams; misbegotten handicapped parking placards; nonsensical-sounding Texas sayings; and what to do about a squirrel-hating, BB gun–toting elderly neighbor with a happy trigger finger.
April 2010 by David Courtney
The Texanist »
The trouble with black beans, an unnatural attachment to Texas license plates, the perils of striking up a conversation in the restroom, and the discomfort of two men riding together on the same Harley.
March 2010 by David Courtney
The Texanist »
Vegetarian offspring, a barroom dispute, maintaining the “Texas identity,” and whether anything can be done to cure a marriage-threatening case of snoring.
February 2010 by David Courtney
Inside Texas Monthly »
Showing a new intern the tricks of the trade.
February 2010 by Deg Ronilo
The Texanist »
Pink camouflage, Floridian “friends,” a bedtime dilemma, and whether or not it’s acceptable to mock Chileans for their flag’s similarity to ours.
January 2010 by David Courtney
The 2010 Bum Steer Awards »
It was a year of accomplice apes, bedraggled Bugattis, Christlike Cheetos, dim-witted deli-owning Democrats, egregious errata, fatal foreplay, gun-toting golfers, heartless high school hoopsters, ignoble implants, jackass judges, killer Kims, laughingstock legislators, miniature museum mummies, nincompoop ne’er-do-wells, overwhelming odors, pandering Perry, quazy Quaids, reassuring Riddle, shameless Stanford, territorial T. Boone, useful urine, vituperative vixens, weaponized waitresses, x-alted XXX clubs, yolky yahoos, and zero-tolerance zealots.
January 2010
My Library
