In short, he's ugly. Expressions for homeliness are the most common of Texas sayings. This stellar and venerable example paints a picture, tells a tale, and cracks a joke, all in twelve words.

She's so ugly she'd make a freight train take a dirt road.

He's so ugly his cooties have to close their eyes.

So ugly his mama takes him everywhere she goes so she doesn't have to kiss him goodbye.

She looks like she fell face-down in the sticker patch and cows ran over her.

He looks like the dogs have been keepin' him under the porch.