Texas has four seasons: drought, flood, blizzard, and twister. That old saying isn't far from wrong. Because of its sheer size, Texas experiences all kinds of weather -- sometimes all at once. Out in West Texas, the weather can be drier than the heart of a haystack and windier than a fifty-pound bag of whistling lips. A duststorm is dubbed "Panhandle rain." Thunderclouds might bring some real rain -- say, a real gully-washer toad-strangler. And, all over the state, it's hot -- darned hot. How hot, you ask? Hotter than a stolen tamale. Hotter than a honeymoon hotel. Hotter than a fur coat in Marfa.

So dusty the rabbits are digging holes six feet in the air.

The wind's blowing like perfume through a prom.

So windy we're using a log chain instead of a wind sock.