It was a year of appalling analogies, bare-naked Badu, collapsing Cowboys, dim-witted Daughters of the Republic of Texas, egregious Ethics Commission, felonious fishermen (not to mention frisky firefighters), G-rated (not) guards, hilarious headlines, imperial incumbents, jackass judges (as always!), klutzy kat rescuers, legendarily lame and losing Longhorns, mind-boggling menus, noncompliant Nugent, outré overtimers, pajama-clad politicians, queso quarrels, rude representatives, scuffling strippers, toilet paper–free Texas A&M, unacceptable uniformed urination, vent-escaping vipers, woefully wrongheaded wide receivers, X-asperated Xanax-heads, yuk-yuk yeggs, and zealous Z-cups.
January 1, 2011 | Feature
A year of asinine actresses, bare-bottomed bongos, curious car washes, dunderheaded deejays, elongated enchiladas, furious filmgoers, Gore goofs, huge hydrants, ice in demand, jettisoned Jagger, kooky Kansans, lecherous legislators, misinformed McDonald’s, newsmaker nuts, odorous ocelots, promiscuous passengers, questionable quizzes, ridiculous recipes, speedy sports-team owners, traveling toilets, ubiquitous underwear, vapid vegetarians, wrong W-2s, x-ported x-ecutioners, Y2K y’all, and zaftig Zellweger.
January 1, 2000 | Feature
A year of asking-for-it Aggies, badass broccoli, contraband coffee, Death Row decor, extrapolating elephants, faux feet, god-awful gimmickry, humongous heavyweights, incomparable ironers, judicial jimjams, kaput kowtowers, lame-brained liberals, moping millionaires, NASA ninnies, off-putting officials, prize-winning pignappers, quasi-comic quipsters, red-handed rapscallions, scarfable sod, theoretical thongs, ungodly ungulates, vomiting vegetation, wild-eyed window-breakers, xenophobic Xanthippes, Yankee yahoos, and zapped zealots.
January 1, 1999 | Feature