‘Twas the List Before Christmas

And my favorite Christmas present of all time is...
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The holidays are upon us and, as a native Virginian, I will be heading north in order to celebrate with family and friends, and play with my nephews, and by “play,” I mean the old “Get Auntie Drinkie another glass of wine” game. They seem to like it, and it makes Christmas much more enjoyable for me. Win. Win.

Usually I get fairly nostalgic at this time of year, as I look back on my childhood and reflect on how easy life was then, when everything was paid for and I had my own room and my biggest concern was whether or not I would get the Holly Hobbie EZ-bake oven. Spoiler: I did but I had to share it with my sister. The oven lost some of its appeal when we realized that a mini light bulb does not really produce enough heat to cook miniature pies.

I grew up Catholic (which explains a lot) and we did the whole advent calendar, nativity scene, school Christmas pageant, caroling thing, but let’s face it: Baby Jesus or not, my sisters and I were in it for the presents. That’s not so unusual for a child who thinks that the world revolves around them. Now, for a grown woman, it’s a little delusional but that’s a story for another time and another place. (My memoirs from rehab.)

So I thought, in the interest of the secular, I would list some of my all-time favorite Christmas presents from the lost days of my youth. You’ll notice that most of them are doll-related, because my parents wanted to do everything in their power to perpetuate traditional gender stereotypes.

10. Victorian dollhouse strategically hidden in our basement under a sheet by my parents. Came with Victorian dollhouse people, including a dad that we just stuck on the top of the roof every time we played with it because he was “at work.”

9. A baby doll that came in a suitcase with little baby clothes. I named her Sugar Plum, kept her in a crib by my bed, and dreamed of the day when I would have my own baby. Funny, I never dreamed that one day, I would have my very own blog.

8. Cabbage Patch preemie. Note the “preemie.” I love the thought of a bunch of crazed parents fighting over who gets the premature baby doll. Just what you want your daughter to play with.

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