’Rithmetic

Six math teachers at Elsie Robertson High School in Lancaster were suspended without pay for handing out worksheets containing the following problems involving guns, sex, and drugs.

22 PERCENT, PLUS 100 PERCENT OF 6 MATH TEACHERS
Hector knocked up 6 girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percent of girls in the gang has Hector knocked up?

BEFORE OR AFTER SNIFFING IT?
If the average spray can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with three cans of paint?

SKIP IT. HE SWITCHED TO AN UZI
Johnny has an AK-47 with an 80-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times during each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?

IT DEPENDS ON WHETHER JOHNNY FINDS HIM FIRST
Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine. He sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn’t cut it?

THE ANSWER IS 420⁄185. THE NEXT QUESTION IS,
What Is 20⁄185 of a Trick? Rufus is pimping for 3 girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so that Rufus can pay for his $800- per-day crack habit?

JUST STEAL A SUBURBAN INSTEAD
Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for a 4 x 4. If he has stolen 2 BMW’s and 3 4 x 4’s, how many Chevys will he have to steal to make $800?

NONE, NO MATTER WHEN HE GETS OUT
Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out of prison?

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