Are the Houston Texans a “Tomato Can?”

Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy says the New England Patriots, which hosts Houston on Sunday, is “the first team in NFL history to get back-to-back byes before advancing to the conference championship game.”
Mon January 7, 2013 1:20 pm
AP Photo | Dave Einsel

When two teams face off in a major playoff game, it’s customary for sportswriters and other media to bash the rival city–a tradition that existed long before the Internet invented “trolling.” Shoot, we talked a little smack at Cincinnati ourselves before the Texans-Bengals game on Saturday.

Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy, however, has no opinion about Gulf Coast seafood or the awesome Houston weather. He’s reserving all his potshots for the Texans team itself. 

With Houston moving on to face New England in the AFC semi-final Sunday, Shaughnessy  wrote that the Patriots are “the first team in NFL history to get back-to-back byes before advancing to the conference championship game.”

He continued:

Could this get any easier?

I mean, seriously? The planets are aligned and the tomato cans are in place. The fraudulent Houston Texans are the only team standing between the New England Patriots and a trip to the AFC Championship game. All the Patriots have to do is beat the terrible Texans. One week from today. At Gillette Stadium.

In the wake of Houston’s win over Cincinnati Saturday, the Patriots now can advance to the NFL’s Final Four by beating a team they routed, 42-14, just four weeks ago.

I know what you are thinking. Just two years ago, the Patriots beat the New York Jets, 45-3, in December, then lost a first-round game to the same Jets just a few weeks later.

This is not the same. Those Jets were not afraid of the Patriots. Those Jets had players and a coach who did not wet their pants at the sight of Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. Those Jets had attitude.

The 2012-13 Texans? Pure frauds. The worst 11-1 team in the history of the NFL. These Texans have absolutely zero chance of beating New England here next week. And everybody knows that this

More Texas Monthly

Loading, please wait...