Book ‘Em Horns: Between the Lines of UT’s “Campus Watch”

More minutiae from the University of Texas at Austin's infamously comic police blotter, including memories from longtime author Darrell Halstead and the story of a student who "made" Campus Watch.
Wed September 11, 2013 5:00 am
University of Texas football fans, not breaking the law.
Photo by Tim Warner, Cal Sport Media via AP Images

An item that you didn’t read on the University of Texas Police Department’s Campus Watch:

DKR- TEXAS MEMORIAL STADIUM, 2200 Robert Dedman

Robbery: UT staff members, faculty, students, and Texas Exes are reporting that multiple items have been taken from this area of campus between 2010 and this past Saturday, including, but not limited to, All-American quarterback play, national championship-caliber coaching and high school-level tackling ability.

That’s not a real item because a) Campus Watch would never dis its neighbors on the Longhorns football team and b) Campus Watch would actually be more subtle, as Crime Prevention Unit Officer Darrell Halstead was on December 1, 2008:

DKR- TEXAS MEMORIAL STADIUM, 2200 Robert Dedman

Robbery: Several UT staff members, faculty, students, and Texas Ex’s discovered a fraction of a percentage point had been taken and

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