The Quaid Family Circus

Over the past two years, veteran actor Randy Quaid and his wife, Evi, have transformed themselves from a pair of artsy eccentrics into a tin-pot update of Bonnie and Clyde. Though the Houston native and his wife of twenty years haven’t engaged in any homicides or bank robberies, they have cut a bizarre and disruptive swath from Seattle to Los Angeles to San Francisco to, finally, their new home in Marfa, where they moved this past summer. Together or alone, they are alleged to have harassed the cast of a theater production, attacked employees of Actors Equity, skipped out on bills at a handful of pricey hotels, accused the mob of trying to kill them, failed to appear in court on four occasions (with another appointment due as we go to press), mixed it up with Marfa city administrator Jim Mustard, and committed a staggering array of other misdeeds at every turn.

To help our readers navigate this thicket of accusations and counteraccusations, we have put together the following.

1. Mean kids tattle on Randy.
The Daily Beast Web site reported that in October 2007, Randy’s fellow actors in a Seattle production of Lone Star Love accused him and Evi of harassment.

2. Evi sends nekkid photo to nice newspaper man.
According to the Seattle weekly The Stranger, Evi sent a naked photo of herself holding a gun to the paper’s theater critic, with a note that began “Here is my German stuff.”

3. Evi kicks nasty old lady!
In February 2008, after Randy was banned for life from Actors Equity, he and Evi showed up at AE HQ in L.A., where Evi attacked a 76-year-old receptionist. (Daily Beast)

4. Evi asks Nancy Drew to find bad guys.
In June 2009, Evi hired Beverly Hills private investigator Becky Altringer to prove that the mob was trying to kill her and Randy. (Daily Beast)

5. Detour around reception desk.
According to a Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s Department warrant, later that month they left San Ysidro Ranch without paying a $10,000 bill.

6. Evi cusses out Deputy Jimmie.
In September, Presidio County sheriff’s deputy James Davis arrested them on the California warrant; Evi screamed at and slapped officers.

7. Attend slumber party in jail.
They were booked and photographed before posting their $20,000 bond.

8. I call it the “I Scream Truck”!
According to the Big Bend Sentinel, Evi painted a banner that said “Deputy James Davis takes payment$ … call & make offers,” affixed it to a GMC truck, and parked it in front of the sheriff’s office.

9. Turd Blossom Evi!
In a rambling four-page letter to the judge in their case, Randy referred to “Karl Rove who, in a recent visit to Marfa, made more than one flirtatious advance to Evi.”

10. Evi gets into it with Mean Mr. Mustard.
The Big Bend Sentinel reported that in October, a “meeting with [Evi] and city Administrator Jim Mustard at City Hall turned combative.”

11. Extreme makeover!
The Big Bend Sentinel also reported that Evi allegedly tore a satellite dish off of her neighbor’s house because it encroached on her property.

12. Evi says to Randy, “Now let’s build a museum to honor all the great things you’ve done!”
The couple is believed to be building a museum to celebrate Randy’s career, though at press time they had still not acquired proper building permits.

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