HE GOT NAILED
Round Rock mayor Charlie Culpepper apologized to “all of the purveyors of fasteners that operate in our city” after he was quoted in a newspaper article as saying “you couldn’t buy a nut, bolt, or screw in Round Rock without going to Wal-Mart.”
NEXT TIME MAKE IT “HEALTHY BOVINE”
A teenage girl in Azle pressed charges for “disorderly conduct: language” against a male classmate for calling her a “fat cow.”
BUT “BEAUTIFUL, BLONDE, AND DUMB” WOULD HAVE BEEN OKAY
Following protests by the parents of a black student, a fourth-grade teacher at the Lexington Creek Elementary School in Missouri City apologized for handing out a mathematics assignment that asked students to determine which one of four sisters was “beautiful, blonde, and intelligent.”
BETTER THAN THE SLOWEST THINKING WHITE MAN
Texas railroad commissioner Barry Williamson, contemplating a race for state comptroller against fellow commissioner Carole Keeton Rylander, apologized for telling the state Republican Executive Committee he had heard that her speaking style made her “the fastest-talking white woman” ever seen.