All I want for Christmas is . . . a $250,000 dinner, cooked by Thomas Keller and other celebrity chefs? Or how about a jet pack? Or a part in Annie?
Yes, Christmas is approaching and that means the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book "Fantasy Gifts" have been unveiled.
There are nine available, including, for $70,000, the "Snowy Owl" video portrait by Waco native Robert Wilson and, for $1,090,000, two Van Cleef & Arpels watches plus a trip to Switzerland.
But here's the four that really stand out on the list:
For a mere $99,500, you can fly. The JetLevR200 is a gasoline-powered, water-propelled device, which means it doesn't work on land—as the video reveals , it's attached to a small boat which takes up the water needed for propulsion.
So you won't be flying over any fences, but it will keep you in the air for four hours or eighty miles, with a maximum height of thirty feet. That doesn't sound like much, but hey, 2012 still isn't The Jetsons. At least you're flying!
"CFI 1 Pilot Certification Training & Safety course included," which may or may not comfort your significant other.
For most people, it is hard (and expensive) enough just to eat at Thomas Keller's New York City restaurant Per Se.
But if that's become a bore, then for just $250,000, Keller, Daniel Boulud, Jerome Bocuse, and Richard Rosendale will all cook dinner for you. At your house. We're guessing they will bring their own knives.
The proceeds benefit the Bocuse d'Or Foundation and will be centered around tequila, as provided by "Maestra Tequilera" Bertha Gonzalez of Casa Dragones. It's dinner for ten, so that's only $25,000 per person—surely a better deal than Cowboys' seat licenses!
And you know that food you hate to eat that you've been known to call an "allergy" when dining out? We can think of 250,000 reasons why it just might be accomodated this time.
Because who doesn't want fresh eggs, delivered from a multi-room, "Versailles-inspired" building that, at $100,000, costs more than a lot of single-family homes in Texas?
Neiman's summary of this one, with its description of a chicken "playground" and a chicken "library" (complete with books), "slipping on your wellies," and the "morning wing stretch," sounds straight out of a Ruth Reichl tweet (or rather, straight out of a "Ruth Bourdain" parody tweet).
The coop comes with three to ten specially selected heritage hens, and also includes two raised vegetable and herb garden beds.
But "delivery not included." And if you are reading this from New York City, check those leads levels before buying.
While all the proceeds from this package goes to charity (split between the PEDIGREE Foundation for Pet Rescue and the Pajama Program), we reckon for $30,000 you should get a crack at Daddy Warbucks or Miss Hannigan. Instead, it's just a "walk-on role," which also includes "dinner with a producer, six show tickets, and all equity-related costs." Travel and hotel to New York not included.
The biggest catch, however, is that you must be eighteen or older, so playing Annie herself (or any of the orphans) is no more of an option than playing Sandy. In other words, this is something that you buy for your nostalgic self, not your seven-year-old daughter who doesn't know the words to "It's the Hard Knock Life" (maybe she'll learn them . . . wait for it . . . "Tomorrow").