The fastest-growing church in the world. The biggest congregation this side of the Vatican. The highest ratings of any religious broadcaster. One of the best-selling religious books in years. Can Joel Osteen get an “Amen”?

At restaurants across Texas, there are any number of things that taste better dipped in egg and milk, dredged in flour, and pan-fried in hot oil. If you think steak is the only chicken-fried, uh, delicacy, wake up and smell the bacon. And the antelope. And the lobster. And…

How else to describe the murder and mayhem and fear that have gripped Nuevo Laredo for months—and are now spilling over into Texas?

They’re obvious to everyone except, apparently, the people we elected to fix Texas. They include some easy solutions and at least one that will probably get me a lot of hate mail (but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong).

And I will soon be a soldier in Iraq—again. Here’s what’s going through my mind.

What high school is really like.

Rick Perry wins a few rounds.

I’m in love with you, cherry lime.

Cormac McCarthy’s latest is bloody good.

The state agency that’s supposed to protect you is a captive of the industry you need protection from.

A friendship with Curt Schilling, virtually.

Is DWB (driving while barefoot) illegal?

The Kinky-for-governor circus pulls into Galveston.

“The worry is that we’re going to put the Bell system back together. You hear that a lot. Anybody who says that is just not informed.”