Quote of the Day

“For the ones that go full on into what is known as a phantom shift, you actually get the similar thing of phantom limb syndrome—you start feeling a tail, or ears or claws. You know it’s not there, but it’s like you can feel it.”

—Aramond VanRahamdalph, leader of Houston’s “therian” community, to FOX26. Therians are apparently human people who think they are also animals. According to FOX, there are about 3,000 therians in Houston alone. 

Daily Roundup

Catch A Falling Starr—Is Baylor giving president Ken Starr the boot? Three outlets—the Texas Longhorns team pages on recruiting news services Scout.com and Yahoo!’s Rivals, and Waco NBC affiliate KCEN—reported on Tuesday that Starr was out as president, each citing anonymous sources. According to the reports, Starr was ousted by the Baylor board of regents for the school’s mishandling of the football team’s sexual assault crisis, which we wrote about at length in August. With the rumor mill running at full speed on Tuesday afternoon, Baylor released a really strange statement, declining to comment but also sort-of commenting: “… when official news is available, the University will provide it. We expect an announcement on June 3.” Later in the day, Waco CBS affiliate KWTX reported that Baylor Board of Regents Chairman Richard Willis said in a text message that Starr was still president, and a university spokesperson emailed the Associated Press with the same message. So Starr is apparently not going anywhere (for now).

Small Victory—The State Board of Education dodged a bullet on Tuesday—a bullet in the shape of a 69-year old woman who believes President Barack Obama is a gay prostitute, baby dinosaurs traveled on Noah’s Ark and that Paul Ryan’s beard makes him look like a terrorist. Outspoken candidate Mary Lou Bruner lost Tuesday’s District 9 (in East Texas) Republican primary runoff, due to what the Texas Tribune called a “stunning comeback” by opponent Keven Ellis. Even after she became a laughingstock in the national media, Bruner was still predicted to win. According to the Tribune, Bruner almost won the election outright in March, and had backing from powerful area conservatives. Yet Ellis trounced Bruner by double digits, all but locking up a seat on the board (though he still has to take on the Democratic candidate in the general election, the voter block is staunchly conservative). But, as we noted last week, it may not have been Bruner’s wild beliefs that cost her the election as much as her complete lack of knowledge when it comes to all things education-related. Unsurprisingly, she truly did not know her stuff.

Nor Any Drop To Drink—After two weeks without safe drinking water, Corpus Christi may finally be reaching the end of its marathon “boil water” notice, according to the Corpus Christi Caller-Times. As the Huffington Post wryly noted, the city’s nickname, the Sparkling City by the Sea, is “not a terribly apt” one right now. This is the city’s third boil water notice in ten months, and citizens are rightly angry. It’s still unclear what caused the crisis, beyond “a discretionary call by the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality that oversees public water systems,” according to the Caller-Times. The city’s chlorine treatment of the water system has spread slower than expected, but if officials test the water and find that it’s safe, the newspaper says the boil water notice could be lifted as soon as sometime on Wednesday. Meanwhile, the mayor and city council have promised an independent third-party investigation into the city’s water crisis. Heads have already begun to roll. Corpus Christi’s city manager resigned last week, in part because of the city’s water issues. According to the Huff Post, the situation has even reportedly piqued the interest of famous environmental lawyer Erin Brockovich. That’s when you know things are rough.

Clickety Bits

Here it is: the level of comprehensive runoff election coverage you’ve been waiting for your whole life. (Texas Tribune)

Arlington city council OK’d the $1 billion Texas Rangers stadium, clearing the way for a public vote. (Dallas Morning News)

More than 500 people showed up for the funeral of an 11-year old who was stabbed to death in Houston. (KHOU)

A controversial (but not as crazy as Bruner) conservative was just elected superintendent in Douglas County. (Chalkbeat)

An insane amount of lead was found in the water at an El Paso State Supported Living Center. (El Paso Times)