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The State of Texas: Nov. 14, 2013

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Quote of the day

“That sounds about right … ” — Texas Tech Coach Kliff Kingsbury on being the 27-point underdog against Baylor this week. Yes, ladies, he’s sexy and reasonable.

Photo of the Day

The stakes were low, but Gregg Abbott wins sense-of-humor race:

Daily Roundup

Prognosis Negative — The first round of Obamacare statistics were released yesterday. The result? Texas had the second-highest number of new federal health care enrollees of any state. Not bad for a government website that can handle about six users at a time. Unfortunately, that’s only about 3,000 people. And since Texas is the state with the highest number of uninsured citizens, it’s kinda like saying you’re the healthiest diabetic in the emergency room. The new program is so disastrous that the investigative “sting” of Obamacare, led by James O’Keefe (who rose to fame by recording damning conversations by ACORN workers), is pretty unnecessary. The video detailing the conspiracy that Obamacare navigators are encouraging applicants to lie was shot in Dallas. The stinger, Garland native and University of North Texas student Lawrence Jones, was a former school board candidate who has not only been active in politics since before he could spell “Kathleen Sebelius” but was apparently a district campaign coordinator for . . . Obama. So much for getting the young people on board.

The Sentence Hurd Round The World — A contrite Sam Hurd was sentenced in a Dallas courtroom Wednesday to fifteen years for drug trafficking. The former Cowboys wide receiver got a “much shorter sentence than the 27 to 34 years recommended by federal sentencing guidelines,” mostly because the “case against Hurd centered on a ‘lot of agreements’ to buy and sell marijuana and cocaine, rather than physical transactions of drugs,” according to USA Today. Also, Hurd was a giving dude, never really “trafficking” so much as being super generous when it came to his primo stash. Yes, cocaine is a helluva drug, but as our own Dan Solomon pointed out, Hurd’s marijuana use is not only being looked at as a necessary activity for pain and psychological management, but smoking weed is a bit of a pastime for players. You know, so long as you don’t try buying enough to hotbox the Cowboys Stadium.

Maroon Nation — Looks like “Burnt Orange Nation” got a litte too cooked. According to a new poll by Public Policy Polling, Texas A&M beat out the University of Texas in a popularity contest: “22 percent of fans identify themselves as Aggies and 20 percent as Longhorns.” Quite a difference from 2001, when the Longhorns “had a 23 percent to 15 percent lead over the Aggies.” There’s a heap of other interesting figures in the poll, including a favorability match up between Johnny Football and RGIII, as well as the question “Who do you think has done a better job this year: Congress or the Houston Astros?” Perhaps the love comes from the fact that the Aggies are meeting fan expectations or its coach being hotter than a two-dollar pistol shootin’ downfield. Or it could be the fact that the poll comes from PPP, whose methodology is debatable. Regardless, it’s the most fun you’ll have with a poll all week.

TexasWorld — Nothing will ever be able to replace the joy, the pleasure, the experience that was AstroWorld. But Texas could soon see a respectable stand-in. “The plans for Grand Texas appear to be taking shape, with new renderings showing an elaborate and Texas history-themed amusement and water park on the more than 600 acres of piney woods in East Montgomery County,” reports the Houston Chronicle. If/when complete, the Never-Never-Lone-Star-Land will include an amphitheater, equestrian center, and a “Downtown Texas” area. Yes, please!

Clickity-Click These Extra Bits

The Dishonorable Judge Ken Anderson Residing

Playboy Marfa Shacking Up in Dallas

Err, That Policy Position Mixes Like Oil And … Fetuses

Your Car’s New eTitle

Amarillo No Longer A Dubai Real Estate Town

The Dallas Observer’s Blasphemy

Ain’t No Party Like An Unopposed Party

The Birds III: Attack Over Dallas

Did we miss something? Got a hot news tip? Send it our way: [email protected]. Or tweet Texas Monthly and Jeff Winkler.

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