So long, UT football season. And so long, fall semester.

While we’re sure the University of Texas students will blow off a lot of steam before, during and after finals, here’s what’s been keeping the campus police department busy since we last checked in with “Campus Watch,” Austin’s favorite combination of personal safety tips and comic stylings (it even made the latest Austin Chronicle “Best of Austin” issue) from Crime Prevention Unit Officer Darrell Halstead and Layne Brewster-Smith.

Highlights bolded for your maximum amusement.

Dallas the Nightclub or Dallas the City?
100 BLOCK EAST 21st STREET
Public Intoxication: A UT Police Officer discovered two non-UT subjects passed out at the bus stop located on the north side of PCL. During the investigation, the officer was able to get both subjects to wake up and respond to questions. The female subject believed she was in Dallas and all alone. The male subject informed the officer he was still on 6th Street. The officers detected a strong odor of alcohol on the subject’s breaths and noted other signs of intoxication. Both subjects were taken into custody for Public Intoxication and transported to Central Booking. Occurred on: 11-10-12, at 3:39 AM

Wouldn’t You Want Him To See?
2600 BLOCK GUADALUPE

Driving While Intoxicated: A UT Police Officer observed a dark colored Kia travelling without its headlamps on. During the traffic investigation, the non-UT driver informed the officer he had turned the lights off so his passenger could vomit. The officer did detect a strong odor of alcohol inside the passenger compartment and had the driver exit the vehicle. As the investigation continued, the officer administered the Standardized Field Sobriety tests to the driver. The driver displayed a number of clues that indicated he was intoxicated. The driver was taken into custody for Driving While Intoxicated and transported to Central Booking. Occurred on: 11-13-12, at 2:53 AM.

But Could He Write?
TOWNS HALL, 727 East Dean Keeton

Criminal Trespass: A non-UT subject entered into a restricted area under the guise of being part of a writing committee. The chairperson of the committee notified the UT Police Department about the subject and his location. Officers located the subject inside a 2nd floor classroom and recognized the subject as a known offender. The subject was taken into custody, again, after officer confirmed the subject had received 19 prior Criminal Trespass Warnings. The subject was transported to Central Booking.  Occurred on: 11-13-12, at 5:55 PM.

This One Might Not Be Funny
JESTER WEST DORMITORY, 201 East 21st Street
Suspicious Person: A UT student discovered he was being watched by another UT student while inside a 1st floor restroom.  During the investigation, the officers located the suspicious student. The case is pending further investigation. Occurred on: 11-19-12, at 8:24 PM.

But This One Is Funny Every Time
MAIN BUILDING, 110 Inner Campus Dr

Suspicious Person: Several UT Police Officers responded to Room 8 after receiving various alarms within minutes of each other. Officers discovered entry into the room had been made through the ceiling. The A/C ceiling vent was laying on the floor along with dust and other ceiling materials. Officers began searching the office and discovered a masked non-UT subject attempting to hide by hanging onto the wall molding and a window blind.  The subject refused to comply with the officers requests to come out with his hands up. The subject even refused the officers coaxing when the officer handed over the Jack in the Box French Fries. The non-UT subject escaped through an open window and evaded the officers. The non-UT subject was described as: Three feet tall, last seen wearing a brown and black stripped coat, furry gloves and black mask over his eyes. Occurred on: 11-20-12, at 2:41 AM.

And They Lost to TCU
DKR TEXAS MEMORIAL STADIUM, 2200 Robert Dedman

Criminal Trespass: A UT student was observed creating a disturbance at one of the entrances into the stadium. The student claimed her ticket had been confiscated by a staff member. When the officer took the student to the staff member, the student changed the location to another gate on the opposite side of the stadium. The officer confirmed the student had not purchased a ticket and told her she needed to leave. The student then informed the police officer that she was going to watch the game since her friends were there.  The officer again explained to the student, she needed to leave the stadium. The student refused and was taken into custody for Criminal Trespass and was transported to Central Booking. The subject was able to watch the game with her new friends, the jailers and other prisoners.  Occurred on: 11-22-12, at 8:00 PM.

Security!
1900 BLOCK GUADALUPE

Theft / Assist Outside Agency: A non-UT subject entered a business on Guadalupe and approached a uniformed UT Police Officer and asked the officer if he wanted to purchase several UT jerseys for $10.00 each. The officer not wanting to pass up a “good deal” noticed the jerseys still had the store price stickers attached to them and asked the subject for his identification. The officer soon learned the subject had an outstanding Outside Agency arrest warrant and was taken into custody and transported to Central Booking. As the investigation continued, the officer located the store where the jerseys had been stolen from. Additional charges for Theft were filed. Recovered value: $140.00.  Occurred on: 11-28-12, at 1:00 PM.
Stay Out of Jail Tip: Never a good idea to offer to sell stolen property to a uniformed cop.


The First Rule of Kappa Sig Is, Don’t Talk About Kappa Sig
JESTER WEST DORMITORY, 201 East 21st Street
Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor: A UT student was observed laying his head down on a table, flailing his arms while verbally accosting other students sitting nearby. During the investigation, the officers detected a strong odor of alcohol on the student’s breath and learned he was under the legal age of 21. The student informed the officers he had been drinking alcohol with his Kappa Sigma fraternity pledges. The student was issued a court release citation for Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor. Occurred on: 11-28-12, at 1:20 AM.

The First Rule of Zeta Tau Alpha Is, Watch Out for Those Kappa Sigs
JESTER DORMITORY, 201 East 21st Street
Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor:  UT Police officers responded to a welfare concern call regarding a 19 year old UT Student passed out, on the floor, in a women’s restroom. During the call, it was discovered the UT Student is a member of the Zeta Tau Alpha Sorority and they were having a party with the Kappa Sigma Fraternity at Recess Arcade Bar.  She stated she drank approximately 12 mixed vodka drinks while at the bar. She was also in possession of a fictitious Louisiana Driver License. EMS transported her to the hospital.  A summons was issued for Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor.  Occurred on 12-01-12, at 4:10 AM.

You can follow Campus Watch yourself, or sign up for its daily emails, here. They’ll be compiling their own “Best of” for 2012 soon.