The Bum Steer Gift Guide.

THE RON PAUL FAMILY COOKBOOK, compiled by the family of the Surfside congressman, which contains recipes such as Zippy Olive-Beef Spread and a clip-and-mail card soliciting donations to his reelection campaign (free to donors).

LEAVE BILL CLINTON ALONE, a compact disc from Austin soul singer Larry Shannon Hargrove ($19.95).

“HUMOR HEALS,” an inspirational audiocassette by two Bellaire sisters whose Giggles Institute offers consultations on relieving stress through laughter ($11.95).

HOMEMADE DOG BISCUITS in peanut butter, barbecue, and other flavors, from A Barker’s Dozen bakery in Corpus Christi ($5.99 per barker’s dozen).

PORCELAIN FIGURINES of Tammy Wynette, Roy Orbison, Porter Wagoner, and other country and western legends by Country Music Greats of Georgetown, available in eight-inch limited-edition versions ($59), six-inch editions ($29), and four-inch Christmas tree ornaments ($19.95).

HOMEMADE FASHIONS BY “THE LOTTO LADY,” Beverly Bohot Arnold of Needville, who uses discardedscratch-off tickets to adorn dresses, shirts, hats, and vests (custom-priced).

DERRICK-SHAPED PASTA, a pump jack wind chime, drill bit Christmas tree ornaments, and other oil patch–related novelties from Paydirt of Kingwood ($5 to $195).

CORRAL NO. 5 SCENTED CANDLE—sort of a sweaty leather smell—by Digware, from Dallas’ Design Initiative Group ($20).

OPRAH T-SHIRT, depicting the talk show host in a boxing ring with an angry bull, by Darren Dunham of Amarillo ($14).

JOHNNY-LIGHT, by RBJ Manufacturing of Burleson, a battery-operated device that lights up toilet bowls at night to prevent “annoying fall-ins” ($12.95).