We’re not sure if more strange things necessarily happen in Lufkin than in other small towns, but whoever is running the Lufkin Daily News’ police blotter has a great appreciation for the absurd.

The crime in Lufkin ranges from the very mundane to the very bizarre, and nearly each day the police blotter seems to contain a new gem. We’ve compiled our favorites from April below:

April 29
“An employee reported that a customer threw drinks and cursed at him and other employees at a business.”

April 28
“A two-piece love seat was reported stolen from a store Thursday.”

April 28 
“A shoplifter was caught stealing underwear from Walmart Thursday afternoon.”

April 27
“A man reported to Lufkin Police that a pair of shoes valued at $500 were stolen from him while he was in jail.”

April 25
“SpongeBob SquarePants water shoes caused a Lufkin woman to be ticketed by police Tuesday. … The woman put the shoes on her child’s feet and then they walked out of a store and left in a Lincoln sedan. Police tracked the woman to her home and ticketed her for Class C misdemeanor theft. She then gave the shoes back, telling them she forgot to pay for them.”

April 19
“Small trees were reportedly damaged Tuesday on an open lot.”

April 19
“A shoplifter was caught stealing underwear and bathing suits Tuesday.”

April 17
“A woman stealing beer from a store fled on foot after her family member refused to let her back in the vehicle with the stolen merchandise Monday.”

April 11
“In response to a confrontation about illegal dumping, a man reportedly dropped his pants to moon two women and a child Monday. Police documented the man’s alleged offense as disorderly conduct-offensive gesture.”

April 9
“A man threw a bag of M&Ms candy at a store employee on Sunday night, according to a Lufkin Police report. The report stated that the man entered the store, stole an unknown amount of items and was being chased out of the store by the employee when he threw the candy.”

April 3
“A purse was found floating in a ditch full of water Sunday.”

April 3
“A man reportedly took a six pack of Budlight to the store bathroom, hid it in his clothes and then walked out Sunday.”

Have another favorite Texas police blotter? Send us a note at [email protected].