Whoever is running the Lufkin Daily News‘ police blotter has a great appreciation for the absurd. (The same can be said for UT Police Officer Darrell Halstead, who puts out the department’s daily Campus Watch alert.)

Houston Press‘ John Nova Lomax, who is also a big fan of Lufkin, wrote last July “[u]nlike so many of its fellow small-town East Texas newspapers, the editors and reporters have both a keen eye for mayhem and a dark, mordant sense of humor about it.”

The crime in Lufkin ranges from the very mundane to the very bizarre, and nearly each day the police blotter seems to contain a new gem. We’ve culled our recent favorites below:

January 27
“More than $2,800 worth of Gorgeous push-up bras were reported stolen Thursday from Victoria’s Secret in the Lufkin Mall. In a separate case, a Lufkin man was arrested Thursday for allegedly stealing two bras from another store in the Lufkin Mall.”

January 26
“A hundred and fifty dollars worth of spices was reported stolen from Casa Ole’s dry storage building overnight Wednesday.”

January 18
“A cookie sheet, towels, a rug and dishes were reported stolen from a home broken into Thursday in the 1500 block of Norwood Drive. The homeowner believes they know who stole the items.”

January 13
“Someone who stole cough medicine from a store Thursday in the 900 block of West Frank Avenue reportedly returned it and apologized.”

January 10
“A man reported receiving what he considers harassing phone calls from Woman 2 Woman Breast Cancer Foundation based in Florida. For the last two months he has gotten phone calls from the foundation, some of them silent, even though he has removed his name from the call list. He said the calls do not come every day, but when they do, at times they call up to five times a day.”

January 8
“A man claims he cut his arm while jumping a fence Saturday morning in the 700 block of Milam.”

January 3
“A woman reportedly stole her mother’s Nike tennis shoes, Chi hair straightener and plaid jacket when she moved out Monday. In a similar incident, a man believes his brother stole $85 in cash from him, along with his flip flops and laundry basket.”

December 30
“A Lufkin woman pulled over for traffic warrants was arrested after officers found a marijuana pipe with her name on it Thursday. A search of Lisa Dugat’s vehicle uncovered a plastic pipe smelling of burnt marijuana with a printed label that read ‘LISA DUGAT.'”

December 25
“A father reportedly pinched his daughter and then left the residence.”

December 11
“A woman handing out sweet roll samples on Saturday at a business in the 400 block of Brentwood Drive reported that a customer took a sample and threw it in her face.”