2 chicken breasts
1 egg
1 glop of milk
Salt and pepper
1/2 cup flour
Cornflakes
Olive oil
3 tablespoons butter
Cheap white wine
Oregano
Sweet basil
1 can cream of mushroom soup
Paper sack (for shaking up chicken)
1 stool (for seeing over the stove)

Kill one chicken and rip out its breast. Beat one egg lightly with a glop of milk. Add salt and pepper to mixture, and set aside. Wash off them breasts, throw ‘em in a sack with flour, and I throw in four handfuls of crushed-up cornflakes. (That’s probably one handful for big people.) Shake ‘em up good in the sack, but close it first.

Heat 1/4 inch of olive oil in a medium skillet over a medium flame until a water drop thrown in sizzles right off. Take them breasts out of the sack, dip ‘em in the egg mixture, and drop ‘em in the skillet. Brown both sides. Remove breasts from skillet, pour off the oil, wipe out the pan, turn burner down real low, add about 3 tablespoons of butter to skillet, and put breasts back in. Pour some cheap white wine over them breasts; season with lots of oregano and sweet basil.

Put a lid on the skillet, then leave it simmering for 15 minutes or so while you read the funny papers. Spoon in cream of mushroom soup on top of them breasts, add some more oregano and basil, and replace the lid. Continue simmering for another 20 minutes. Eat them breasts with the mushroom gook in the pan spread over them.

Recipe from Aunt Pearl’s Cookbook: A Man’s Cooking, by Joe Sears. Copyright 1991 by Pearl Productions.