Sometimes, the bum steers write themselves. On Thursday’s 6’o clock news, the Dallas-Fort Worth CBS affiliate ran a segment on three SMU football players who say that a prostitute stole items from their house back in April.

One of the athletes, Uchenna Nwabuike, admitted to police that on April 28 he had solicited the prostitute and then neglected to pay her $50 for her services, KTVT’s J.D. Miles reported. Nwabuike then left the woman in his home unattended while he made an appearance at SMU’s end-of-year football banquet.

When Nwabuike and his two roommates returned from the dinner, some $3,500 in electronics—three laptops, three XBoxes, two televisions and a PlayStation 3—were missing from the home, according to a police report obtained from the Dallas Morning News. The Dallas Police got wind of the situation when one of the roommates contacted them about the theft, and when officers arrived, Nwabuike told police about the escort and his agreement to have sex with her for $50.

Police are still investigating the matter and looking for the suspect three months later, and SMU is trying to get to the bottom of the incident, too. Officials at the University Park private college say they knew nothing about a burglary involving school football players or its possible connection to a prostitute until KTVT contacted them last week. One spokesperson said, “We’re investigating the facts of the matter and will deal with it appropriately according to university guidelines.”

It’s still unclear whether the other two roommates (who, as KTVT points out, are “projected starters”) had any knowledge of or involvement with the escort. SMU could take disciplinary action against Nwabuike, based on the outcome of the school’s investigation.

Predictably, the Internet has been atwitter about this news. Over at the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, blogger Jeff Schultz sarcastically joked: “Here’s your proof that SMU is running a clean football program now: Players are paying for their own hookers! Well, sometimes.”

And NBC blogger Rick Chandler made a connection between this story and the 1983 Tom Cruise flick, Risky Business, poking fun at the football players: “Not paying a call girl and then leaving her alone in the house? Then telling police you did that? Have you always been this sharp, SMU? Or is this something new?”