San Antonio Spurs center Tim Duncan gave the finger to a stalker fan outside of a CVS on Chase Hill Boulevard in northwestern San Antonio last week.
But what’s gone viral about the video is not his profane gesture but a hearty round of jokes about the fact that “Timmy” is still boring even when he flips the bird.
“Tim Duncan Smoothly Gives Fan The Finger In Most Boring And Fundamentally Sound Athlete Meltdown Ever,” was the headline on Barry Petchesky’s Deadspin post.
The fan in question sent Deadspin the video, but Petchesky had little sympathy with her concern that Duncan was setting a bad example:
First, let’s get this out of the way: Don’t whip our your camera and film athletes when you see them in person. Like the woman who sent this video to us. She was at the CVS on Chase Hill Blvd. in northwestern San Antonio on Friday, heard Tim Duncan was in the store, and returned to her car to wait for him. She would have been much better off asking for an autograph or to shake his hand, and if he said no, he’s more than entitled to his privacy.
Petchesky goes on to joke about Duncan’s “preternatural spatial awareness” in recognizing that there was a camera on him.
“And the finger itself, a masterpiece of efficiency,” he continued. “A quick, easy up-and-under with zero wasted motion, using the glass like the future Hall of Famer has been doing his whole career.”
Nobody else managed to improve on Deadspin‘s joke.
“The most boring middle finger ever delivered, right?!,” offered Vibe.
“How does he do it?” asked Complex. “No, really. How does Tim Duncan find a way to make everything seem more boring?!?”
And a post at Sports Kings didn’t seem to fully understand the context, claiming that “a fan got his paparazzi on and taped Tim Duncan when a fan said something to him on his way to his car.”
However, a select few commenters at the message board “Spurs Talk” were in fine form.
“That’s a HOF middle finger. We could only be so lucky to receive one ourselves,” wrote “BatManu20.”
“I love how he casually scans both ways and pulls out slowly,” said “zOsa” of Duncan’s pharmacy parking lot etiquette.
“I’m still undecided whether he was fixing his rearview mirror, or flipping her the bird,” suggested “Will_Spurs.” That comment actually set off a Zapruder-like frame analysis of the video.
And finally, from “Spurtacus:” “I believe Timmy is hinting at a fifth ring this year. One for the middle finger baby.”