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Texas Monthly

Style & Design |
January 20, 2013

The Best of the Texas Century—Culture

Anne Dingus on Lonesome Dove, Chester Rosson on Scott Joplin, Michael Hall on Buddy Holly, Don Graham on Giant, John Morthland on Ornette Coleman, Eileen Schwartz on Greater Tuna, Jennifer Olsen on Conan the Barbarian, and Michael Ennis on the painter of the century.

Travel & Outdoors |
January 20, 2013

Great Escapes: Lodging

Austin Street Retreat, 408 W. Austin Street (one block north of Main), Fredericksburg (830-997-5612, fax 830-997-8282; www.fbglodging.com). Double occupancy $125 (breakfast not included). No telephones in some rooms; no televisions; hot tubs with handheld showers only. Children allowed in Maria’s only. No smoking indoors, no pets. AE, DS,

Travel & Outdoors |
January 20, 2013

Great Escapes: Points of Interest

Alamo Village, 7 miles north of Brackettville on FM 674 (830-563-2580; www.alamovillage.com)Alibates National Monument, 419 E. Broadway, Fritch (806-857-3151; www.nps.gov/alfl)Alley Oop Fantasyland Park, 1000 Parkside (on the west side of town), IraanBarnard’s Mill Art Museum, 307 SW Barnard Street, Glen Rose (254-897-7494)Big Rocks Park, 1020 NE

Recipe |
January 20, 2013

Orange-Glazed Muffins

Muffins4 eggs 11/2 cups sugar 1/2 cup olive oil zest of 3 oranges 11/2 cups sour cream 1 tablespoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 pound cake flour (about 37/8 cups unsifted cake flour; you may substitute 31/2 cups all-purpose flour, but the texture of the

Food & Drink |
January 20, 2013

Gourmet Breakfast

Orange-Glazed MuffinWith a hint or two, you might guess that these decadent orange muffins are made with sour cream. But would you ever imagine that the secret ingredient is olive oil? The flavor doesn’t intrude, it just adds a subtle richness. Recipe from Cipollina, Austin.Smoked-Salmon Omelet with CapersAs long

Recipe |
January 20, 2013

Fruit-and-Nut Granola

Fruit-and-Nut Granola12 ounces plain granola of your choice (about 3 cups) 3 ounces pistachios (about 1/2 cup), roughly chopped 3 ounces slivered almonds (about 1 cup) 1/2 ounce dried apples, diced (about 1/8 cup) 1/2 ounce dried apricots, diced (about 1/8 cup) 1/2 ounce dried papaya, diced (about 1/8 cup)

Feature |
January 20, 2013

Healthful Breakfast

Fruit-and-Nut GranolaNo retro granola, the Houstonian’s classy version updates the multigrain cereal of the sixties with almonds, pistachios, and a medley of dried fruits, including cranberries, currants, and apricots. Recipe from The Houstonian Hotel, Club and Spa, Houston.Scrambled Egg Whites With Shiitake Mushrooms and Roma TomatoesThe surprising thing about

Food & Drink |
January 20, 2013

Mexican Breakfast

Cinnamon-Pumpkin EmpanadasThe incredibly flaky, yeasty crust of these empanadas is so good—and so easy to make—that you’ll immediately abandon all other recipes. The pumpkin filling, also a breeze, is traditionally Mexican. Recipe from Esperanza’s Cafe (Joe T. Garcia’s Bakery), Fort Worth.Potato Pancakes With Sour Cream-Chipotle SauceMost people look at

Recipe |
January 20, 2013

Potato Pancakes With Sour Creamy Chipotle Sauce

Sauce2 teaspoons prepared chipotle sauce 1/3 cup sour cream (low-fat if desired) 1 tablespoon milk 1 tablespoon chopped chives (optional)Whisk ingredients together. Warm in a pan or microwave oven before serving.Potato Pancakes2 3/4 pounds unpeeled red potatoes 4 large eggs, lightly beaten 4 tablespoons flour 1/2 cup finely chopped shallots

Recipe |
January 20, 2013

Cinnamon-Pumpkin Empanadas

Pumpkin Filling1 15-ounce can pumpkin 1/2 cup sugar 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon (optional) 1/4 teaspoon ginger (optional) 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves (optional)Mix ingredients together and set aside.Empanada Dough1/3 cup water 1/4 cup sugar 1 teaspoon salt 2 1/4-ounce packages dry yeast (41/2 teaspoons) 1/8 teaspoon baking powder

The Culture |
January 20, 2013

The 2005 Bum Steer Awards

It was a year of: Alamo amour, bollixed Bush, cheeseburger chagrin, dissed Davy, egregious ethics, film flops, guileful gynecologists, hibiscus hullabaloo, in-flight idiocy, jiggling Janet, konservative kross-dressers, laughable liposuction, microphone mishaps, numskull name-nabbing, opinionated obits, pot parfaits, Qaeda qualms, reckless Rather, streaking solons, tasteless Tecate, UT users, vulgar veeps, Wicca

Feature |
January 20, 2013

2005 Bum Steer Awards

Better close off the balcony too Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee, of Houston, requested that a corridor in her Washington, D.C., office building be closed off for eight hours so that she could meet privately with singer Michael Jackson.4—6 minutes to high cholesterol An eighteen-wheeler overturned on Houston’s Loop 610, spilling

Feature |
January 20, 2013

The Bottom 10

10. The AlamoThe film was as big a disaster for Disney as the 1836 battle was for its valiant defenders—a commercial and critical flop that, unlike the original, is better forgotten.9. The Texas Longhorns baseball teamThey lost twice at the College World Series: once on the field to Cal State—Fullerton,

Feature |
January 20, 2013

The Quaid Family Circus

Over the past two years, veteran actor Randy Quaid and his wife, Evi, have transformed themselves from a pair of artsy eccentrics into a tin-pot update of Bonnie and Clyde. Though the Houston native and his wife of twenty years haven’t engaged in any homicides or bank robberies, they

News & Politics |
January 20, 2013

The 2010 Bum Steer Awards

It was a year of accomplice apes, bedraggled Bugattis, Christlike Cheetos, dim-witted deli-owning Democrats, egregious errata, fatal foreplay, gun-toting golfers, heartless high school hoopsters, ignoble implants, jackass judges, killer Kims, laughingstock legislators, miniature museum mummies, nincompoop ne’er-do-wells, overwhelming odors, pandering Perry, quazy Quaids, reassuring Riddle, shameless Stanford, territorial T. Boone,

Food & Drink |
January 20, 2013

Hill Country Growers and Producers

Goat Cheese: Wateroak Farms, 8187 Water Oaks Lane, Bryan; 979-279-2373. Call for hours. Also available at Bryan-College Station and Austin retailers.Herbs: Generation Farms, 1109 N. McKinney, Rice; 903-326-4263. Call or go to susantaylortours.com for hours. Also sold at many supermarkets.Honey: Lone Star Honey/Walker Honey Company, 8060 E. U.S. 190,

Music |
January 20, 2013

Girl Talk

Executive editor Skip Hollandsworth discusses this month's feature "O Sister, Where Art Thou?"

Feature |
January 20, 2013

The 2000 Bum Steer Awards

A year of asinine actresses, bare-bottomed bongos, curious car washes, dunderheaded deejays, elongated enchiladas, furious filmgoers, Gore goofs, huge hydrants, ice in demand, jettisoned Jagger, kooky Kansans, lecherous legislators, misinformed McDonald's, newsmaker nuts, odorous ocelots, promiscuous passengers, questionable quizzes, ridiculous recipes, speedy sports-team owners, traveling toilets, ubiquitous underwear, vapid vegetarians,

Feature |
January 20, 2013

Buy & Sigh

CUSTOMIZED DECORATED CASKETS, ranging from the “Return to Sender” model, painted to resemble a brown-paper package and stamped with the deceased’s final (earthly) destination, to the golfer’s choice (above), “Fairway to Heaven,” depicting an inviting green, from Dallas’ WhiteLight casket company ($3,000 and up).MECHANICAL BULL “for training, for fun, for

Feature |
January 20, 2013

Swill & Fill

CINCINNATI CHILI, which contains unsweetened baking chocolate and is served over pasta, as detailed in an article in Texas Monthly’s sister magazine Cincinnati (about $4 a bowl).A SIX-HUNDRED-POUND PUMPKIN, auctioned on eBay to benefit the Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children ($2,550).DOUGHNUTS from Donuts-4-U on Commerce Street in Dallas, located

Feature |
January 20, 2013

Nail & Fail

Just as George W. Bush’s knowledge has been put to the test, so should that of Bum Steer readers. Answer these questions correctly and you can leave here with a million Bum Steer awards:Part A. World Leaders. How did George W. Bush answer these questions?1. Can you name the president

Feature |
January 20, 2013

Scan & Ban

THE CHEATER’S HANDBOOK, by Southern Methodist University graduate Bob Corbett (Regan Press, $12), which explains how to cheat your way through college. “Go with an old beat-up pair of jeans with as many holes as reasonably possible . . . you can write answers directly on your legs and then

Feature |
January 20, 2013

Thanks A Million 1999: $1 Million

BILL AND ANGIE BARRETTDallas, $1 million$1 MILLION to the UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS SOUTHWESTERN MEDICAL CENTER AT DALLAS to establish the Barrett Family Center for Pediatric Oncology. Mr. Barrett is the chairman of Willow Distributors.LOUIS A. BEECHERL, JR.Dallas, $1 million$1 MILLION to the UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS AT AUSTIN to fund programs

Feature |
January 20, 2013

Thanks A Million 1999: More than $1 million

FRED THOMSON COUPER AND MARY FRANCES BOWLES COUPERHouston, $10 millionA home, eighteen wooded acres, art, and furniture valued at a total of $10 MILLION to MEMORIAL HERMANN HEALTHCARE SYSTEM, in Houston. When the Coupers no longer live in the house, it will be converted into a wellness center. Mrs. Couper

Recipe |
January 20, 2013

Shrimp Cocktail Huatulco

This gorgeous seafood cocktail is named after Huatulco, the impossibly beautiful seaside resort in the Mexican state of Oaxaca.16 large shrimp, peeled and deveined (leave tails on) salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste 6 fresh tomatillos, husked and diced 1/4 onion, minced 1 ancho chile, stemmed, seeded, and

Recipe |
January 20, 2013

Mango-Key Lime Margaritas

This tropical margarita is much fruitier and easier to drink than a genuine Mexican margarita. If a frozen drink gives you a headache, omit the crushed ice and serve on the rocks.1 shot (1 ounce) tequila 1 shot (1 ounce) Cointreau 1/4 fresh mango, peeled and chopped 1/2 cup fresh

Recipe |
January 20, 2013

Buttermilk Chess Pie

Dough 2 cups flour 1/4 cup sugar 1 teaspoon kosher salt 8 tablespoons butter (1 stick), divided into several pieces 1/3 cup shortening, divided into several pieces 1/4 cup ice waterIn a food processor combine the flour, sugar, and salt. Add the butter and shortening. Process (or pulse) until the

Recipe |
January 20, 2013

Blue Cheese Cornbread Stuffing

Cornbread 1 cup buttermilk 1 egg, beaten 6 tablespoons sugar 1 1/2 to 2 tablespoons kosher salt 1/2 cup butter, softened 2 cups fresh corn kernels 1/4 cup seeded and diced jalapeño (2 large jalapeños) 2 1/4 cups cornmeal 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/4 cup flourPreheat the oven to 350

Recipe |
January 20, 2013

New Potatoes With Sun-Dried-Tomato Mash

2 cloves garlic 1/4 cup cilantro 1/4 cup olive oil 1/4 cup coarsely chopped rehydrated sun-dried tomatoes (about 1 ounce or .06 pound dry weight) 1/4 cup grated Asiago or Parmesan cheese 1 teaspoon kosher salt 1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper 4 pounds new potatoes, washed and thinly slicedPreheat the

Recipe |
January 20, 2013

Asparagus Wrapped With Smoked Bacon

4 pounds fresh asparagus 16 pieces smoked bacon kosher salt to taste freshly ground black pepper to tastePreheat the oven to 325 degrees. Trim off the woody ends of the asparagus and blanch for 45 to 60 seconds. Plunge immediately into an ice-water bath; when cooled, drain and set aside.Cook

Recipe |
January 20, 2013

“Onion Jam” Relish

1 1/2 pounds red onions (about 2 large onions) 1 1/2 pounds yellow onions (about 2 large onions) 4 bunches scallions (green part only) 3 tablespoons vegetable oil, such as canola 1 1/2 cups balsamic vinegar kosher salt to taste freshly ground black pepper to taste 1/4 cup brown sugarPeel

Music |
January 20, 2013

On The Road in Texas

Texas was Elvis‘ home away from home in the early days of his career, a direct result of getting on the “Louisiana Hayride.” He signed a contract in late 1954 with the popular radio show, which was broadcast live every Saturday night from 50,000-watt KWKH radio in Shreveport. (CBS syndicated

Travel & Outdoors |
January 20, 2013

A Family Affair

Richard King and his wife, Henrietta, founded the King Ranch. Their daughter Alice and her husband, Robert Kleberg — shown with their children in the turn-of-the-century photograph at the right — founded the family that sustained it. When Henrietta King died in 1925, the ranch’s 1.2 million acres were divided

Feature |
January 20, 2013

Revoltin’

BUT YOUR BETTER HALF CAN COME, HONCameron County sheriff Omar Lucio did not invite district attorney Yolanda de Leon to a barbecue for law enforcement officials because the party was for men only.SORRY. I MEANT TRAILER GENTRYIn a TV interview during the Kerrville capital murder trial of Darlie Routier, Dallas

Feature |
January 20, 2013

Rightin’

HE GOT NAILEDRound Rock mayor Charlie Culpepper apologized to “all of the purveyors of fasteners that operate in our city” after he was quoted in a newspaper article as saying “you couldn’t buy a nut, bolt, or screw in Round Rock without going to Wal-Mart.”NEXT TIME MAKE IT “HEALTHY BOVINE”A

The Culture |
January 20, 2013

The 1998 Bum Steer Awards

A year of altered antlers, bawdy broadcasters, comedian corrections, dining detectives, emancipated emus, fossilized felines, gullible Gore, hemline harassment, insatiable igniters, jazzed-up jewelry, Kay’s kennelwear, lottery loonies, metric madness, numerous nudes, 007 oenophiles, poultry protesters, questionable quizzes, revengeful revenuers, Spam slingers, tie tirades, unallowed uniforms, variant videotapers, warning! water, x-humed

Feature |
January 20, 2013

Readin’

The Bleacher Bible By Chris Sneed, Cotten Publishing of Lubbock, $9.95. Heckling manual by a diehard Texas Tech Red Raiders baseball fan. “You’ve got jungle disease: you look like Tarzan but you swing like Jane.”Cigar Chic: A Woman’s Perspective By Tomima Edmark of Dallas, The Summit Publishing

Feature |
January 20, 2013

1998 Bum Steer Awards

The Escapees Are the Ones Who Are Jogging Fast Nacogdoches County changed its prisoners’ work-crew uniforms from ultra-bright orange to old-fashioned black-and-white stripes after alarmed citizens reported sighting escapees who turned out to be joggers.Try Our Famous Vanilla Waivers, Coffee With Chicanery, Subpoena Noir, Hot Tea With a Twist of

Feature |
January 20, 2013

The Bum Steer Calendar

JanuaryBEN BARNES Under fire by federal authorities, the former lieutenant governor gives up his $25,000-a-month lobbying contract for Gtech, the company that runs the Texas Lottery. Not to worry, though. Later it is announced that Gtech agreed to pay Barnes and an associate $23 million to buy out the contract.FebruaryTEXAS

Feature |
January 20, 2013

Retailin’

RADIO GIRLS 1998 CALENDAR, featuring five women deejays from Texas, including (left) Cindy Scull of KEGL-FM, Dallas, from RML Productions of San Antonio: $12.95.PETMITT, a disposable pet-waste mitt for scooping up doggy doo, designed by Betsy Aberg and Virginia Prejean of Dallas, from PetMitt of Dallas, available by calling 1-800-PETMITT:

Music |
January 20, 2013

Steve Brodner’s Sketchbook (1)

“And don’t forget to come back next week for the Greensheet Awards. Everybody in Austin can win something if you just stick around long enough in this town. A lot of people dressed up tonight and a lot of people didn’t give a s—t, did they? Nobody’s going to work

Music |
January 20, 2013

Steve Brodner’s Sketchbook (3)

Mark: “They’ve mixed a lot of the Western side with the original, but they’re not original. And this right here is the biggest joke I’ve ever heard. She’s doing mudras [hand movements] through the whole thing, but she’s not even doing the mudras right.” Dan: “It’s nonsensical, the way they’re singing.